Opinion please: trust vs. mistrust, when and how

[bueller22]

You should take a close look at this. Talk to her, Does she value you the way you value her? How does she feel about you? Do you play some important part in her life, or are you just a fun easy paycheck? I think you need to talk to her and dig in and answer these questions for yourself. As has been said before she could have been going through some situation that made this missed pmt more egregious than it might otherwise would have been. I would tell my feelings, point out your history together, and try to figure out how she feels about you and your relationship....then maybe you can understand what's going on.

[Ebony Jasmine Love Austin]

I like your story Alisha, and the way you handled it.

I have to agree with the public opinion here.

Although, I could see why you might anticipate her letting it slide, just like you might find it a nice gesture when a female pays for once, after you taking her out repeatedly.

So, I guess I'm really still on the fence with this. If she was willing to take your help when she needed you, outside of the pay for play, how could she not lend her help (if you can call it that) by being understanding of a simple one time mistake. She most likely was counting on the money that day. She might have acted differently on a different day or personal circumstance.

[bueller22]

Originally Posted by boobs mcgee

well your relationship is based on payment, whether you choose to believe it or not. no payment no relationship, at least, that is what is evident in her eyes.

if you want the relationship to be more, then tell her. of course she will expect a raise.

if you don't care about the relationship, then either pay her and cancel her for future meetings forever, or don't pay her and suffer the non-payment blacklisting she will ultimately do to you.

if you feel offended then just move on - who cares what she thinks, because in reality while you care about her, she doesn't care about you.

I don't agree. I two people have spent a lot of time together and have helped each other through major events in their lives. I think there is much more going on than just a financial relationship: I think there's frindship, respect, and maybe love....And of course a lot of great sexual adventures.

[Ebony Jasmine Love Austin]

Originally Posted by GneissGuy

.....and don't disappoint yourself by expecting more.

This is so true in any kind of relationship.....with just about anything in life.
Beautiful advice.

[Ebony Jasmine Love Austin]

Originally Posted by bueller22

I don't agree. I two people have spent a lot of time together and have helped each other through major events in their lives. I think there is much more going on than just a financial relationship: I think there's frindship, respect, and maybe love....And of course a lot of great sexual adventures.

I agree with you bueller.

[Carl]

If you're able get past feeling offended and disappointed and continue seeing her, my advice is to never, ever, ever again provide gifts above or beyond the standard rate and most certainly never, ever, ever provide emotional and moral support. Those should be reserved for friends and/or "family". The evidence here pretty clearly indicates she doesn't consider you to be in either category. You shouldn't feel obligated to put her in that category yourself without it being reciprocated. If everything is as you've described, then it's patently transparent that she sees you only as a client.

Doesn't mean you and her can't eat some cake together. Just means that if she wants frosting on her slice, she needs to buy some for her own slice, just like you do.

While it may have been the case that she somehow needed the money for an immediately pressing bill payment, given that you've been there for her personal life events (death of a parent, marriage, illness of a pet) it would be reasonable to expect that she would have felt comfortable saying so and revealing that little piece of personal information instead of simply asking you to immediately return with the payment.

[bistraight69]

A fool and his money(1200 to 1500) are soon parted.

[chuckles]

Just Alisha,
I found your story about the man you had a long term arrangement with touching and very sweet. Sometimes our arrangements are "just about the money" sometimes there is more. We focus on sex on this board (which is great), but sometimes forget it CAN also be two humans sharing a wonderful experience. I am sure your gentleman friend remembers you as fondly as you do him.

[Passion2015]

I don't want to come off negative on this issue but , the bottom line in this business it's all about the money and not the feelings for 99.9% of the ladies here. You would think after seeing someone for that long the money issue would be of little concern because of the trust. If any guy here thinks that they are the only one that means something to any of these ladies we are sadly mistaken. It's strictly about the $ or should I say $$$'s now. Any of these ladies will tell you anything to boost your ego so you come back for more so they get mote dollars put of you. It's their business unfortunately. If a better offer comes along they will cancel with you for the extra dollars and so forth. For me I would move on after thinking I have seen someone for years and I forget once and they call me on it within 30 minutes. Guys your not a human with emotions to these ladies but only a dollar for their pocket.
Now of course with this being said I'm sure to ruffle feathers however, I've also been in different situations as this and have learned.

[RALPHEY BOY]

as cold as you may sound Passion I do agree, its all about the $$ otherwise why would you want to bang fat old men?

[LuvThatKitty]

Originally Posted by Carl

While it may have been the case that she somehow needed the money for an immediately pressing bill payment, given that you've been there for her personal life events (death of a parent, marriage, illness of a pet) it would be reasonable to expect that she would have felt comfortable saying so and revealing that little piece of personal information instead of simply asking you to immediately return with the payment.

Exactly! She could have handled the situation much better. On the other hand, I would have thought you could have talked to her privately before posting it here.

[BigGerman]

As others have said, at least you know where you stand now. If you see her again, you might mention it in passing, and see how she reacts.

I know it sucks, because you both have confided in each other personal information that you wouldn't normally share with someone. To be rejected and brushed off so suddenly hurts, a lot.

If you're able get past feeling offended and disappointed and continue seeing her, my advice is to never, ever, ever again provide gifts above or beyond the standard rate and most certainly never, ever, ever provide emotional and moral support. Those should be reserved for friends and/or "family". The evidence here pretty clearly indicates she doesn't consider you to be in either category. You shouldn't feel obligated to put her in that category yourself without it being reciprocated. If everything is as you've described, then it's patently transparent that she sees you only as a client.

This x1000. In fact, it may be best to not see her for a while and see what happens.

[Still Looking]

Remember these words....

"They don't fuck fossils for free!"

Once you get that EVERYTHING just falls in place!

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by RALPHEY BOY

.......... its all about the $$ otherwise why would you want to bang fat old men?

You sure are stuck on the idea that old fat men cannot shag younger good looking pussy.......

You sure are a broken record on it...

Did you lose some hot young thing to an older, fatter man and can only explain it to yourself as being the money?

Although I P4P with a lot of very young ladies and I totally agree that money plays the motivator in all of those cases I am regularly find no problem in seeing women 15 to 20 years younger than me that are attractive.

I've enjoyed two relationships in the past year with young ladies that played and partied with me for reasons other than the money....

But in regards to the OP... Did he somewhere mention that he was old and fat?

I missed that.....

In his described relationship it is very definitely one motivated by finances.....

He never stated but I would bet the lady in question is not a youngster. Probably over 30

[Passion2015]

Hey be nice to us old fat guys