Types of Post Responses

[gashpump]

Response Type number xx ...

Post that, regardless of the controversy or subject, and whether the OP is right or wrong with respect to generally acceptable societal behavior, will always take the side of his/her own gender (Known as the "circle the wagons" post.)

[Wheretonow]

As a result of comments in this thread and a comprehensive review of other threads (comprehensive meaning casually looking at two or three others), I have added to and revised the list of “Typical Responses to Posts”.

This new list I suspect will be viewed as one of the best investigative writings in modern history, and those who do not agree are uneducated, unsophisticated, uncouth and unwashed.

Again, if you want to point out one or more of my many faults as a human being; or attack my lack of compassion or understanding; or consider my writing abilities less than stellar; or consider me a mindless jerk or worse, please start a new thread where you can feel free to bash me extensively.

But please use your comments in this thread to add to or comment on how people choose to respond to posts.

Typical Responses to Posts

• Response Type Number 1: “The provider in question is the Mother Teresa of providers, and would never have demonstrated the behavior the OP alleges, and the OP is a no-account-lowlife for even suggesting that she did.”
• Response Type Number 2: “The OP's reaction to her behavior is not what my reaction to her behavior would have been, therefore the OP's reaction to her behavior is totally wrong. You should have done what I would have done and not wasted the board’s time with this crap.”
• Response Type Number 3: “The OP's dedicated effort to see a well reviewed provider is not really dedicated effort, but in fact stalking and harassing, and he should be banned from the board, and quite possibly arrested and incarcerated, and perhaps even castrated.”
• Response Type Number 4: “I know this provider better than anyone else knows this provider; I was there when the OP alleges to have contacted her, and I have an ad nauseam-length response, complete with pictures, to prove the OP's account is fiction.”
• Response Type Number 5: Ad nauseam-length rebuttals to ad nauseam-length responses.
• Response Type Number 6: “OMG! The OP posted this in the wrong forum and/or the wrong format! What an idiot! How could we ever believe anything that anyone so stupid would say? Go back and read ALL of the board’s rules at least 10 times, and then send a groveling PM to the board’s owners/moderators (make your apology to me public) asking for forgiveness and promising to do better in the future (but you’ll still be an idiot).”
• Response Type Number 7: “Another OMG! The OP doesn’t have any (or very few) reviews, so how could he possibly have anything meaningful or important to say? You won’t have any credibility until you write at least as many fawning, this-provider-is-the-best-looking-and-the-greatest-fuck-of-all-times reviews as I have. Then the providers will start calling you for dates and possibly be paying you to come see them. That’s what they do for me, but, of course, YMMV.”
• Response Type Number 8: Danni-type, Mensa-intelligence-level provider responses. Fairly tolerant, but easily bored. Tries to spice up mundane threads by posting subtly provocative comments that normally elicit obsequious “me-to” responses to amuse her. Almost always accomplishes her intended purpose.
• Response Type Number 9: After getting drunk, high, pissed, or whatever, I decided to post a totally incoherent, rambling, misspelled, poorly punctuated run-on post that reveals my real ignorance about the subject matter I’m trying to expound on. After coming down, even I don’t understand it, or worse yet, still think I do.
• Response Type Number 10: And then of course there are my responses: impartial, unbiased, witty, succinct, focused, pertinent, awe-inspiring and entertaining. If only more posters were like me…
• Response Type 11:Posts that accomplish little more than increase the poster’s post count. W&I responses are an example. (Offered by mtabsw)
• Response Type Number 12: Idiotic totally off-subject responses or inane banter that the poster finds amusing or witty, but the rest of us find annoying and/or tiresome.
• Response Type Number 13: "I think the OP shouldn't be doing the thing about which he's asking for advice, so, rather than either answer his question or not respond at all, I'm going to detour the thread and tell him why he shouldn't be doing the thing that I think he shouldn't be doing." (Offered by Sir Lancehernot)
• Response Type Number 14: "The OP's post/suggestion/question is laughable, and I'm going to make sure that everyone knows just how stupid he is for authoring something so ridiculous." (Offered by Sir Lancehernot)
• Response Type Number 15: “Deep down I always thought I could have been a writer, and I will now try and fill that regret by verbosely asserting my intellectual superiority. On a whore board." (Offered, probably sarcastically, by TheBizz, but hey, we’re pitching a big tent here)
• Response Type Number 16: Posts that, regardless of the controversy or subject, and whether the OP is right or wrong with respect to generally acceptable societal behavior, will always take the side of his/her own gender (Known as the "circle the wagons" post.) (Offered by gashpump)
• Response Type Number 16: “I going to make sarcastic comments and/or ad hominem attacks, because I can’t make any logical or valid rebuttal to your comments.”
• Response Type Number 17: “I’m not like the person you describe in your post, and I’m going to go into boring, agonizing detail about why I’m a different and much better person than the one you’re talking about.”
• Response Type Number 18: “ I’m going to practice my English Professor and proof reader skills on your post and highlight every error in grammar, spelling and sentence structure.”
• Response Type Number 19: “I am in total agreement with what Response Type Number 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, or 18 (or maybe some or all of them) said. I’ve never had an original thought, but I (erroneously) think I know one when I see one.”

Hopefully everyone will accept this information in the humorous way that it's intended. I'm sure I've missed a few, so feel free to add on. Peace and love - wheretonow