Favorite/funny Quotes

[Ed Highlight]

"Your brain is too tense....yah, too tense the size of a normal brain!?!'
- Slip Mahoney

[Lexy Laye]

I just saw this.. haha! That's great I will add that one for sure.

Originally Posted by Still Looking

You forgot #10: Who put butter on my poll? LOL

[FK]

I just collected a bunch of quotes:

George Carlin
When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.


WC Fields
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar


Mae West
A man in the house... is worth two in the street

I used to be Snow White... but I drifted


Groucho Marx
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. . . But we're going back next year.

Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!

I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.


Rodney Dangerfield
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!

My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it.

Oscar Wilde
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she'll tell anything.

I am not young enough to know everything.

The cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Moderation is a fatal thing. . . . Nothing succeeds like excess.

[guest032413]

A man pats his belly and says "this is my dickydo, sticks out more than my dicky do."

[Still Looking]

Originally Posted by Kandy Kelly

A man pats his belly and says "this is my dickydo, sticks out more than my dicky do."

I got a better one for you! The next time a guy brags about how BIG thing dicky is, tell him the following!

Hey buddy, if you had a hard on, and ran into a wall, I'm pretty sure you would break your nose! LOL

[guest032413]

Originally Posted by Still Looking

I got a better one for you! The next time a guy brags about how BIG thing dicky is, tell him the following!

Hey buddy, if you had a hard on, and ran into a wall, I'm pretty sure you would break your nose! LOL

Lmao...that reminds me of a time I attempted a bj and my nose got in the way!

[Still Looking]

Originally Posted by Kandy Kelly

Lmao...that reminds me of a time I attempted a bj and my nose got in the way!

Ouch! LOL Now thats funny!

[Still Looking]

Provider says to hobbyist, "I've never been with a guy who had a sex change operation! Oh, there he is.... cute little bugger, sorry!"