Paranoid Newbie Questions

[Brandofan]

In Dallas I prefer outcall, at least for the first meet. As friendly as I am it is always a little awkward waving to the pimp on my way in (not all of them have one but it in Dallas it is common). However if you are married you may want to use her incall so nothing shows up on your CC, unless of course you are on a business trip as you said.

If a lady doesn't mention screening requirements you can always PM and politely ask. You may also want to PM a recent reviewer. Don't text unless her profile or site says that is her preferred contact. Every lady is different, but they get quite annoyed when you don't follow the instructions in their showcase or website.

Any lady that gets annoyed by your request to use a cover is not one you want to see. I don't think any of the reputable ladies would mind at all but I leave that to them to answer.

My policy is to never give out RWI (personal info). Here's why: https://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=2018545

It has prevented me from seeing a few ladies but I always let the big head prevail. Between all the sites I have enough of a reputation as being a thoughtful and reliable client. So find some newbie friendly ladies and build from there. Otherwise use P411 and only P411 if you need to get verified with personal info. Absolutely do not ever use your real phone. Get a second burner phone or an app like Burner or Sideline. Each option has its pros and cons but I prefer the burner phone. If anyone asks about it I say that I found it in the street and was waiting for the owner to call. Never bring them to your house, favorite bar or restaurant, or anything else that traces back to you.

I say all this despite the fact that most of the ladies are wonderful and trustworthy people but it only takes one crazy lady to upset your life by calling your wife, your boss, wreck your rental car, or worse. If you hobby enough you'll run into one eventually so be discreet.

Be courteous and polite, think with your big head, and you'll be fine. Good luck!

[BasicGuy]

Originally Posted by OneStarLuck07

On your point #5, I am one of the shyest and paranoid people you could possibly meet in real life and yet, some how I discovered the stones to begin hobbying. I almost chickened out several times on the way to my first visit, turning around a couple of times, but some how still went through with it, and now I am hooked. So if I can do this, anyone can. Sure, I get still ft super antsy when I meet someone new, but I battle through it. Just stick with providers with excellent reputations.

And of course, research, research, research. I lurked in the boards for months before I created a handle and it was still a couple of months before I took the plunge.

Good luck! I'm sure you will make the right decision for you.

Thanks! I'm taking a similar approach. Still looking for the right provider. I think i will start with FBSM and work up from there.

[Crock]

Originally Posted by Tapper69

So one post says don't see providers that don't require screening. The next one says don't give your real name or employer (which I agree with). Then I read all the newbie friendly provider's ads and the ones that screen say they need your real name and employer information.

This is why I'm totally confused. I can only assume that most of you were able to obtain references before screening became a requirement. Meanwhile my balls are getting fuller...

The ladies know how to screen without you giving out real world info. Some of them just don't care.

[BLM69]

Originally Posted by Tapper69

So one post says don't see providers that don't require screening. The next one says don't give your real name or employer (which I agree with). Then I read all the newbie friendly provider's ads and the ones that screen say they need your real name and employer information.

This is why I'm totally confused. I can only assume that most of you were able to obtain references before screening became a requirement. Meanwhile my balls are getting fuller...

Let's think about that one real quick, You're giving RW information to a stranger not knowing what they're involved in and who they associate with now on down the road

find ladies that DON'T require RW information so you can sleep better at night and not have to worry the new pimp man/BF and his thugs coming over at 3am 6 months from now, they won't be knocking either. This is already a high risk hobby, don't make it worst for yourself

[BasicGuy]

Really appreciate all of the responses. Next purchase is a burner phone! Wife controls the checkbook, so my hobby activities will be based upon how long it takes me to save reimbursement/travel checks from work and how effective I am at hiding that money!

Again, all responses (especially from the ladies) are greatly appreciated.

[Brandofan]

Originally Posted by BasicGuy

Wife controls the checkbook.

I don't mean to knock you down but I don't understand how any man could live this way. You sound like a a prisoner on furlough or another of her kids on an allowance.

I'm not trying to say that men need to be super alphas that financially control their women, but this situation sounds ridiculous and emasculating. Since you are looking to hobby clearly you aren't getting what you need in that department, so why do you even stay married?

I sincerely wish you the best of luck and feel for you brother.

[BasicGuy]

No offense taken whatsoever... been married a long time, and over the years just gave control of a lot of things to her. Now its just how it works. I love her and our life, but the sex life is drying up and that is something i still want/need. Dont want to hurt her or jeopardize our life for many reasons, but rather than start an affair at work that will undoubtedly lead to all kinds of additional problems, im looking at the hobby as a safer alternative. No strings attached.

[OneStarLuck07]

BasicGuy - My wife has zero interest in knowing what goes on with the checkbook. If she had any interest whatsoever, I have no idea how I would hobby, especially at the rate I'm currently going.

You are a braver man than me if you are attempting this with your wife having that kind of control on the money.

[LoveNHorny]

I'm with Brando, sounds like you've got other issues going besides a declining sex life.

I wonder if you stepped in and took over your finances again, if she'd start wanting more sex? Nah, after 20 yrs it's gotta be more complicated than that.

Good luck bro. What I can assure you of is that you're not alone. Many men here have similar pasts, many.

Regards,
LnH

[pyramider]

I love it when fucktards do not fuck their wives ... those wives are so grateful for my 1.3" of dangling death that some give me expensive gifts.

[pmdelites]

lots of great advice above. my 42cents worth.

* know what you wanna experience in the crazy sub-culture we play in. body rubs and hand jobs, body rubs and oral to cumpletion, intercourse, anal, domination, submission, kinky sex, public sex, ... the possibilities are staggering - you can feel like a kid in a candy store.
so, figure out what you want first then find a provider who can provide that experience for you. then branch out.

* since your wife controls the purse strings, go visit the provider at her place - lowers your risk of getting caught w/ your pants down. again, start w/ a reputable provider who has been doing this a while. not a run-if-the-mill backpage provider.
and make sure her incall is miles away from your stomping grounds or office. in 16+ yrs, i've only gone to a handful of providers' incall w/ in 3-4miles of my home. and only two incalls w/in blocks of any office i ever worked in (best was consulting w/ private connection agency contractors [agency gina of p411 used to run] in a hotel 3blks from the IRS' north dallas office near midway & alpha :^})

* wrt screening, as others have post DO NOT GIVE OUT EMPLOYMENT INFO. risk avoidance, minimization and mitigation are key techniques. giving info to people you dont know is NOT a risk-reducing strategy. just give what you're comfirtable giving or use p411 (btw, some providers dont use p411, so you may be back at square one). real name could be okay as long as a quick websearch doesnt return a lot of blackmailable info about you.

* wrt burner phone, tracfone offers a pretty good deal - $20-100 for a phone (mine is middle of pack - just text and call, no web usage) and $20 for 90days and gobs of minutes. most times, tracfone will give you 2x-3x the minutes each time you add on.

good luck!!!

[pmdelites]

here's something to think about before you enter this wild and wacky (and crazy) sub-culture we play in.

http://thewireless.co.nz/articles/th...rd-no-i-in-sex

bottom line - enter into this world willingly not cos someone else is "forcing" you to do so. [either peer pressure or similar].

[some web-protection software might warn you this is a questionable site. i used firefox to view it and how no problem]

[Guest122922]

Originally Posted by Tapper69

So one post says don't see providers that don't require screening. The next one says don't give your real name or employer (which I agree with). Then I read all the newbie friendly provider's ads and the ones that screen say they need your real name and employer information.

This is provider specific - some require personal information - some don't. To some ... it is more important to have some sort of communication after a period of time and we use our own intuition.

Originally Posted by Tapper69

...I can only assume that most of you were able to obtain references before screening became a requirement

That is the trick - obtaining references.
Even then ... many times, johns do not want to "wait it out" because their "balls are getting fuller". Therefore, no patience to "wait out" the process.
Provider's have to make calls .. send emails to other providers and hope for a response, which does not always happen.
In between, we schedule - book rooms - prepare for clients - AT THE SAME TIME.

Screening is much more time consuming than you think.
If - you are willing to wait for a gal to complete the process - she would very much likely be safe to see.

[Dudgeonpolymath]

When you stop being paranoid, then bad things will happen. As noted, the one thing you did not list is being caught by the police. ECCIE and other such services help avoid that. Going BP is risky is so many ways including getting caught in a bust. That is a big problem is multiple ways.

[deuceswilld83]

Stick with providers with good reputations.
Get a cheap phone delete and throw it away after every meeting
Never log in to eccie from a home device you never know when you might forget to log out
I prefer incall. Show up and go. Outcall on business a coworker may see someone leaving your room.