Falling for a provider

[TemptationTammie]

Think of how you met. There will always be questions.
Can you truly be faithful? She may question any time you're late or don't answer her text or call. She may wonder if you're with a provider or someone else.
You may wonder if you are enough. And is she seeing clients behind your back.
Maybe you had an extreme connection or she's a good actress if you felt like you were falling for her.
Great sex can be what you're in love with, not her as a person.

[ck1942]

There's a difference between great sex and a great relationship.

Play the field!

[dodger]

especially if they make the process enjoyable ,. i can be grateful ... friendly ... but they are people who bought stuff ... and i appreciate it ... and i like them for it ... but ... they are people who bought stuff from me.

[Reincarnated]

I'm the first to admit that I have gotten attached to some women here. There are few really special ones that you have to wonder why they are here. They are beautiful inside and out and just a joy to be around and ridiculous in bed. Just enjoy the moment you are with them to the fullest and be happy with that because unfortunately, them loving you won't ever happen...and that sucks.

[ck1942]

you have to wonder why they are here.


Excluding those females who truly qualify as exceptionals, many of the females here simply cannot operate successfully in the Real World.

My comment above applies to most males, too.

We, all of us, are what we are!

[FirePhoenix]

I think it can go both ways. What if a provider falls for a hobbyist? Will that hobbyist ever see her past being a provider?

[Iron Butterfly]

One can have feelings for a provider they see on a regular bases over a long period of time. As long as the line is not crossed it can be a very rewording experience.

Now days I'm more garded and don't know if I will ever let myself feel like that again, with a provider!

IB

[brittanystar]

I was just about to say that Phoenix! It can go both ways...we are human, and it is human nature to have feelings and to get attached when we find something (or someone) that makes us happy. Right...it is what it is, and none of us are on here to find love obviously. And in all actuality, the fact that we do what we do would start a relationship off with doubts and mistrust to a certain degree. I
have caught feelings for a client once a long time ago. And when it comes to emotions...well Im pretty much numb. Dont get me wrong...I sympathsize, I empathize for others. I cry, I laugh, I throw things. But I dont like having emotional ties to another person. So for me to catch feelings for a client (who doesnt even know my real name) I would say it is absolutely possible.
The chances of any provider/client relationship working out in the end are almost nonexistent. The relationship starts with lies from the beginning...So it is best to move on and keep providers/clients on an impersonal level. Keep it what it is
Bleeehhhhh

[dodger]

Originally Posted by FirePhoenix

I think it can go both ways. What if a provider falls for a hobbyist? Will that hobbyist ever see her past being a provider?

personally ,,,, i would have no problems seeing her past, present, and future as a provider. i love providers .. and one of the reasons i love them is ... because they are providers. if i was in a relationship with a provider and she thought it was inappropriate to continue providing, we could have that discussion. but she would not get any flak from me if she wanted to continue.

there are all kinds of ladies and gentlemen in the hobby. so .. there are no rules and...the simple fact is .... relationships are tough. but ... see past it? damn ... i think being a provider ... done properly .. is a wonderful thing. just leave some room for those who really don't do this well.

the issue for me is .. the hobby is about erotic romantic fantasy fulfillment. all those words are important but a big one is 'fantasy'. i am purchasing a service which involves being physically intimate with a lady. we're gonna kiss and make out like lovers. and we are lovers .... until the session ends. i hope there are feelings, a connection between us, which is warm and friendly. but i am not confused about our roles.

i worry about folks who blur the line that IB referred to in his post. we all read about stalking incidents ... that's the exposure i see. but, all things being equal ... would the fact that the lady is a providing be an issue for me? no.

i love you ladies!!! you know who you are!

[Toyz]

I must admit the first time I read the OP's topic line I thought "OMG ONE OF OUR RESIDENT FAT BODIES FELL ON A SPINNER & KILLED HER!"

That said, there are a few things to consider...

*Are you falling for someone half your age? You really think the two of you will be compatible after the initial lust & infatuation wears off?
*Girls are used to a multitude of partners, you probably are too...are you going to suddenly settle for one partner? Of course the first couple months that will probably be enough..but what about after the first year? Is it an open relationship? Can you really handle a true open relationship or how about if she continues to work while you sit at home cleaning the windows?
*On the opposite end of the spectrum, why are hoogars so different than civvie girls? In my experience its not a big of a gap as you think...(just my experience, I realize there are many viewpoints)

I have dated in the hobby. A couple of times pretty seriously. I see some hoogars with no BCD because I LIKE them as people & event partners. A couple I do both. A few nothing but BCD. This sounds terribly stereotyping, and its not meant to be...personalities vary in and out of the hobby. But at the end of the proverbial day, WOMEN ARE WOMEN & MEN ARE MEN. Being in the hobby is a factoid, but not the only one.

I've found I can have good to great sex with a LOT of different women. But there's not many I would want to go to dinner with, or to a concert, or spend the night/weekend with.

I think we tend to rate things on a time scale too often..."well they were happy for 4 years but then broke up". And instead of realizing and admitting that MOST relationships-hobby based or otherwise-don't last forever they dwell on the end...not the great beginning or the great times leading up to "the end".

Maybe we should celebrate the 4 good years more...and not complain about it ending as much...

[Iron Butterfly]

The aspect that a lot of seasoned mongers experience with a provider is a type of relationship, that is predicated in the context of the hobby, she is a provider seeing many mongers and you are a monger seeing many providers. How one could see a lady week in and week out for a couple of years and have no feelings would have to be pretty devoid of emotions. Think of it as a fuck buddy that you have great sex with, great chemistry, and genuinely like each other, again in the context of the hobby. This does not mean that you are in love with here or have to controll or stalk her, this just means you care for her, you enjoy her company and the feelings you have for her are part of your hobby experience.

Discipline is nasasary to keep the line from being crossed, seasoned mongers know if the situation is disingenuous. Not all providers are out to get you, rip you off or take advantage of you, as the same can be said for most mongers. But... The line gets blurred and crossed as some of the weaker minds on both sides loos controll, this is not a put down just a fact of this world we play in. Think about it, we share the most intimate moments and parts of ourselves with strangers that at times become friends and lovers, but remain just that. It is so possible. It take both having the mindset and control to manage this territory.

IB

[Skip_8]

Originally Posted by Tpcgolfer

Anyone every got carried away with the idea and fall for a provider? All signs pointing to only one person getting hurt, driving you freaking nuts. Thinking she's going to leave her life style for your 8-5 middle income ass with kids?

Damn, I recently had a tremendous time with a provider. It was like a movie. Both engaged and tune into each other. Left me with quite on impression. Still screwed up over it, but gotta keep it real.

I guess only time will help to move things along.

[Guest021716-4]

Don't. Do. It. It almost always ends badly.

[Guest021716-4]

And it does go both ways. I've caught feelings for two clients. Two broken hearts later...Lol. You get the picture.

We are professionals. We are supposed to make you feel the way you do, but an ethical provider (do not laugh) will set you back to reality, and not mess with your emotions to line her pockets.

You being new... be careful. Especially if you are the type that falls easily.

[VLombardi]

Originally Posted by Scarlett De Rossi

And it does go both ways. I've caught feelings for two clients. Two broken hearts later...Lol. You get the picture.

You know the counselor told us to never speak of it again! Lol...