The Fetish Flake Factor

[Guest061511-2]

My experience has been the exact opposite so far. I have a theory about why my answer might differ though. I have two different identities. There is Britney who is gfe and Mistress ******! 95% of the clients that book sessions with Mistress follow thru. The interesting thing is when people book sessions with Britney for festish D/s etc. they usually flake out. The only thing I can come up with is that maybe they feel more comfortable with a Domme than a provider. Very good question EW.

[loverman]

Well I like to talk in detail before and make sure we are on the same page ,and if I feel we are connecting, then I will follow thru ,and if there short with me about discussing the scene or type of play ,then I wont see them ,to me to make the fantasy as close to reallity you need to pay attention to the details .Im a switch and I take pride on making my partners fantasy come true ,and I would like the same in return specially if I'm paying for it.

[Alyssa Nicole]

This isn't quite the same thing, but when I used to work at Venus Room, a lot of guys asking for domination would call (sounding super enthused) and make you believe they were coming and would NEVER show up. So I know how you feel...but the ones that did show up, now thats a different story LOL GOOD TIMES!!!

[DEVIN0131968]

THIS IS COMING FROM A TRUE FETISH PURIST:

THE REALITY IS THAT MANY FETISHISTS ARE AFRAID OF THEIR OWN FEELINGS AND FEELINGS OF NOT BEING ACCEPTED, MINE IS A SMOKING FETISH AND I'M NOT AFRAID OF IT ANYMORE BECAUSE I FOUND OUT ALOT OF THE GIRLS ARE INTO IT JUST AS MUCH AS I AM AND THE PSYCHO-SOCIAL DYNAMICS ARE JUST TOO MUCH FOR A UNEDUCATED FETISHIST TO DIGEST. THEIR OWN FEAR STOPS THEM FROM BEING WHO THEY REALLY ARE, IT'S SAD REALLY AND I FEEL FOR MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS, AS LONG AS IT'S NOT SOMETHING TO ECCENTRIC OR DEMENTED.

DEVIN

[ElisabethWhispers]

Originally Posted by BritneyBangs

My experience has been the exact opposite so far. I have a theory about why my answer might differ though. I have two different identities. There is Britney who is gfe and Mistress ******! 95% of the clients that book sessions with Mistress follow thru. The interesting thing is when people book sessions with Britney for festish D/s etc. they usually flake out. The only thing I can come up with is that maybe they feel more comfortable with a Domme than a provider. Very good question EW.

You know, Britney, that's an interesting dichotomy. And there is probably a lot of truth to that. I do not have a separate "domme" entity although I've thought about it. I have a hard enough time keeping up with Elisabeth!

But you've given me food for thought.

Thank you!

Sincerely,
Elisabeth

[captnzen]

As a semi-recovering fetish flake myself, I have thoughts. Many of us who are consumed/maddened and thrilled with our various bdsm desires are also afraid of them to a certain extent. Regular vanilla action would never be an out of control scenario for me. But...for some of my more "distinctive" desires I pray for (and yes...fear) that I will find a lady who absolutely nails it in terms of performance and delivery. As a compulsive, addictive sort of gentleman...that scares the hell out of me.
Having said that I still regularly dive in and, OMG, the experiences I owe to an array of gifted lasses both in and outside the biz. God bless them everyone!

[lvus2bballed]

Originally Posted by ElisabethWhispers

Barbie,

I know some guys in Dallas that would probably just swoon over you! Great pictures! With what you said, that is the exact same thing with me.

IF a man follows through with an appointment, he generally will see me again. And again. Not to say that he won't see other ladies but he becomes a good client.

Of course, you have to slog through a lot of crap to get to that golden egg, of sorts. Also, generally when you meet someone who follows through, it's very enjoyable.

Sigh. This is just an area of sexuality that is more complicated than the old in and out.

Elisabeth

I can tell you that there are many providers who post that they cover both sides - GFE and fetish - but when it comes down to it most flake out on the fetish. I usually try to write a detailed story that demonstrates what I like and can tolerate and send it for them to review ahead of time. Not a script, but a sort-of tacit "here's what's ok" for them to choose from. But few if any carry through. I've seen more ladies not be able to pee than I count; it's almost funny to visualize. Guys could pee standing on their heads with their mothers in the room. But ladies, well, I'm either unlucky or their advertising isn't what it should be. And just my luck when I found my golden egg lady she was 2,000 miles away in Vancouver. So I only get there about once a year at best. Last November I'm heading up there on the way to Asia and I look her up.
She retired two weeks before I was there.
Like I said, maybe it's just my luck...or the fact that I live not exactly in a major city and so the choices are few.
BTW, Asian ladies (in Asia) have ZERO interest in it. Hell, they don't allow DATY...

[nubuzz2010]

EW,
It would certainly seem 'flakish' from the providers side. I crossed that imaginary threshold, but not without spending time looking at domme ads or providers who also provide that service. From a novice's viewpoint, they don't know what they want or don't want at first - until they experience it. Getting across the threshold to see where their interest lie is not easy. For those lifestyle dommes, how many come across as "newbie friendly" ? One domme which I contacted stated she did not have time for me, if I didn't know what I wanted and implied I was not a "man" because of that.

[johnthejohn]

If I may throw my two cents in...

First off, I'm a newbie and looking to have my first hobby experience soon, but I'm not new to fetishes. (Any newbie friendly ladies interested? *wink*wink*)

One possibility that I did not see brought up is that the flakes might simply be guys who have ideas and plans, then go and contact a living, breathing person and talking about it. Perhaps the guys got so excited that they "relieved pressure" on their own... Pretty rude, but so is NCNS, particularly when when we're talking about someone's livelihood.

I like the idea of charging a deposit, though. That sounds like a very effective way to sift out the wankers.