Outing. How can it be dealt with?

[Netx9]

Originally Posted by Whispers

In what way did my gripes about Slave G lead to the outing of other people? Are you confirming that she retaliated by outing others because of pressure that was my fault in some way?

I'm saying your gripes led in no small part to someone outing Slave G, not others. You're seemingly defending someone being targeted. My point is that the attention you draw led to someone/her ACTUALLY being outed.

Originally Posted by Whispers

How is asking the members of this community to consider the issue of outing and put forth suggestions as to how to deal with it messing with anyone's lives?

This thread, sure, good issue, but it doesn't exist in a vacuum and is an obvious subtext for your posts in other threads.

Tell you what, I said you bear some responsibility. If you consider that, I'll consider her involvement as well. You know full well that there are creeps out there and the attention you draw to someone reaches them too.

[Wakeup]

Someone outed SG? According to who?

[Netx9]

Originally Posted by Whispers

You spun it... asked a lot of other questions... but in the end your advice was to withdraw into a shell shutting down all traces as well as moving if necessary...oh... and coming clean with the spouse.....

Go to the police? hmmmm... "Let get this straight mamm... you are a hooker.... some older hookers that thinks you are getting too much of her business has sent you information from your face book page and is threatening to tell all your friends and family you are a hooker?... Do I have that right? "

I don't see too many ladies thinking that will work very well for them.

Can you read? If there is a threat of violence, like someone knows where you live or work... I said:

LE as possibility depending on the seriousness*

For garden variety (if there is such a term) threats of outing, I offered more than just 'run'. Recall the reciprocal outing threat if you have info on them. Send someone to threaten/knock sense into them, just weigh the consequences. Share the information with others... I believe the phrase Sunlight is the best Disinfectant comes to mind from my original post. Tell your peers, report to other sites, National Blacklist, etc. Does any of that ring a bell?

You telling me what I said doesn't change what I ACTUALLY said.

You do have a knack for misstating when you claim to be restating.

Ever the critic. I responded to your question with some thoughts. Where are yours? What are your suggestions or do you just want to sit back and throw darts? Given your wealth of experience, you surely have some ideas.

[Netx9]

Originally Posted by Wakeup

Someone outed SG? According to who?

Those of us who actually saw the information on another Internet site. Same time another provider was outed.

[Wakeup]

Oh...okay...uh huh...

And that supposed person was a member here?

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Netx9

I'm saying your gripes led in no small part to someone outing Slave G, not others. You're seemingly defending someone being targeted. My point is that the attention you draw led to someone/her ACTUALLY being outed.



This thread, sure, good issue, but it doesn't exist in a vacuum and is an obvious subtext for your posts in other threads.

Tell you what, I said you bear some responsibility. If you consider that, I'll consider her involvement as well. You know full well that there are creeps out there and the attention you draw to someone reaches them too.

There is another thread where the discussion of outing was initiated and discussed by a couple of ladies. One of them possibly stated the issue without actually knowing it..... You should follow that if you desire some insight unless of course you already know it all and simply discount it..

Let me ask you a question regarding Slave G being outed...... How do you know what actually happened? Do you simply believe what you are told by her because she is great BCD? She can assume the role of just about anything a man desires.... we know that from hr reviews.... in regards to BCD she is certainly a talent that exceeds many others.....

I think it is human nature to want to believe someone you have come to think you know or care about..... Sometimes digging into things though will show you something you don't want to see.......

But what evidence of her being outed actually exists...... Did she move? Supposedly because she was outed? What else?

Please don't answer. I am not looking for answers. I've already heard the story.... BUt balance her actions against your advice? Here she is on the site posting daily and drawing not only attention but the negative attention she will get from me by involving me and the prior fundraiser in her posts daily does not seem to be the typical approach of someone that has been outed.

I've known Providers to move "because they were outed and had to" but they were "outed" by the neighbor for the never ending stream of men in and out the door or it was the excuse that got them sympathy and support to move when the reality was their excessive use of some item we do not discuss was eating up all her earnings and it was day 27 of past due rent and the sheriff was knocking on the door tomorrow.....

DO you want me to acknowledge that when I post it raises the awareness of many many of the members here and that some of them are a little off their rocker and might go to some extreme to hurt someone?

Sure... I know that..... But that's everyday life as well Sir..... When we start considering how the most extreme might react and modifying what we do and say... well... that is not a world I want to be a part of...

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Netx9

Ever the critic. I responded to your question with some thoughts. Where are yours? What are your suggestions or do you just want to sit back and throw darts? Given your wealth of experience, you surely have some ideas.

Mine are rather radical and involve the concept of a cold war term called MAD....

I'll present them in time....

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Netx9

Those of us who actually saw the information on another Internet site. Same time another provider was outed.

And how do you know the source of the information presented was not Slave herself portraying the victim to better control and spin the events?

This was a thread to be about the concept in general... Not everything here is an attack on Slave Guinevere but if it was meant to be one in the long run you certainly do set the stage for it all by bringing her into the conversation.......

[Netx9]

Reposted with emphasis on the other suggestions besides protecting/changing your personal info/contact/etc.

Originally Posted by Netx9

Let's just assume the KNEW part was certain (proof, not just hearsay), we all know the answer. This thread is subtext for something else.

Yes, this site and it's staff can't do anything about it if it's not on here, but I bet if a hobbyist, for example, was known to attack or hurt providers (again, with proof), their account would be closed. While the terms of use claim the site has no liability, just the possibility of knowingly providing access to a violent person would be reason enough to not take a chance. Many of the reasons people can be banned are not posted anywhere, for example, accessing your account from multiple IP addresses. Also in the terms, the site reserves the right to change those terms at any time and they have no obligation to guarantee anyone an account or access.

Having said that, the answer would be different for each unique situation. A violent stalker threatening to out someone may suggest contacting LE. Maybe not. Changing contact information, closing email accounts, changing phone numbers are all a given. If someone just knows your real name or Facebook info, close any online accounts affiliated with your real name. If they know your address and you are legitimately concerned for your safety, move. For a married hobbyist, consider coming clean to your SO/wife. It'll suck, but suck less than coming home to a pissed off spouse reading copies of your reviews - at least you can control the information some, and possibly, possibly lessen the trauma.

Clearly, close/delete eccie, p411, TER, etc. Depending on the threat and information that could be divulged, the response would be different. If you have reciprocal knowledge, like beagle, I'm not comfortable with an eye for an eye AFTER the outing, but beforehand,the threat of "outing back" could be used to discourage your own outing.

No matter how you look at it, it's a derivative question. Do as much as possible to protect yourself, and disassociate yourself from whatever information may be the subject of the outing.

Some may suggest violence or threats of violence in retaliation for outing or the threat of it. Just think very carefully before breaking the law to protect yourself. Can you live with the consequences? Have you exhausted all other options? Is there a threat of violence to you and are you willing to defend yourself?

Lastly, sunlight may be the best disinfectant. Post an alert. Share the info/threat in the private forums. Share it with your peers outside of the site. Report them to the national blacklist and other sites they may be a member of (ie, p411). Post an ad on Backpage. Do whatever you're comfortable with - these are just suggestions but they're all obvious.

To the OP, if this topic is of such import, put it in the national forum and get suggestions from a wider audience and possibly reach someone who has dealt with this issue. Posting it here in San Antonio exposes your agenda and the obvious pretext behind it.

Originally Posted by Whispers

Mine are rather radical and involve the concept of a cold war term called MAD....

I'll present them in time....

Congratulations on the Realpolitik term Mutually Assured Destruction. Any comments on beagle's reticence for "an eye for an eye"? I believe I was more gentle in my terminology but said myself, reciprocal outing or threat of it.

[Netx9]

Originally Posted by Wakeup

Oh...okay...uh huh...

And that supposed person was a member here?

Seemed to be. Had knowledge of this site and posts in other private communication venues.

[Wakeup]

Oh...okay...uh huh...

And this is your basis for the assertion that Whispers was partially responsible for her being allegedly outed?

I'd say you were grasping at straws...but that would mean that you'd have to be within fifty miles of the bale first...

[Netx9]

Originally Posted by Whispers

I'll present them in time....

Really? Such an important issue?? Come on man!

As for MAD, for it to be successful, the "assured" part is key and an understanding on the part of both parties that the threat is real and capable of achieving a level of destruction that is undesirable is essential.

[dbeartx]

Here's my take on it... By partaking in the hobby, you knowingly assume several risks. One of which is being outed. Yeah it'd be shitty for someone to out someone else, but that's just part of the assumed risk. So in the end, it's one's decision to hobby that get's them outed, they made the choice to hobby. So one can get pissed, get upset, but can't really blame anyone but oneself. It's not like we're in some sort of religious club here where values and morals matter, it's quite the opposite.

It's kind of like if I'm speeding, get pulled over and get a ticket, the cop did the ticketing, he is the one that called me out for speeding, but I was the one who was actually speeding, it's my fault, not his.

That's not to say I wouldn't handle the situation though. However, I still wouldn't place the blame on anyone but myself.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Netx9

Congratulations on the Realpolitik term Mutually Assured Destruction. Any comments on beagle's reticence for "an eye for an eye"? I believe I was more gentle in my terminology but said myself, reciprocal outing or threat of it.

I don't believe in reciprocal reprisal myself or an eye for an eye...... I was a fan of the Enders Game series and the concept that when faced with a fight of some sort you utterly destroy the other person so that they never want to fight again....

I would make a lousy president with a finger on the button..... Burn my flag? I nuke your country into the dark ages.....

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Netx9

As for MAD, for it to be successful, the "assured" part is key and an understanding on the part of both parties that the threat is real and capable of achieving a level of destruction that is undesirable is essential.

Very true....

One would want to first pause and spend time gathering as much as he could find out....

and then present just enough of it for them to know what you know with the message to back the fuck off....