Falling in love with your provider.

[Wakeup]

Originally Posted by 5T3V3

The 2 biggest things that break up a marriage are sexual issues and money issues ... so why couldn't it work ...

Um...you know that hookers have SEX for MONEY...right?

[LuckOfTheOrient]

wakeup, you are very blunt.
Do you know that?

[Wakeup]

Heh...no...you're the first person to bring that to my attention.

[MuffinMan42]

Although this is the Internet and I know it won't happen, be kind, try really hard OK?

So this is my first post here and likely my last in anticipation of the responses I will get, or,,, you will ignore me and it won't matter.

This is however my attempt to give you a truthful answer no matter how much flack I get for it.

So my answer is yes, but I think it's a one way thing, which means that IN LOVE was not ever the real situation. Since loss of marriage and becoming very lonely in the past 10 years I guess I became quite vulnerable.

I fell for her meeting one, no sex, just a meeting and a couple of drinks, walking around and talking a bit of 6th street. There was just something about her, wasn't like I paid for her time, made me feel like I was human and not alone and somebody wanted to be around me. We had FUN, without sex, which came later and she was / is easily the best lover I have ever had. Knew how to push every emotional button and create that perfect feeling. It felt like a real connection, which I guess is the point.

Appears that she has retired, or at least quit for now. Been a while since she logged back in to p411. She has however been in touch with me quite a bit in the last couple of months. I got showed that there are those that will take advantage of that no matter how sincere you are I guess, essentially I guess I'm a sucker and that may be exactly what happened. A perfect mark so to speak. I still love her, I mean really. I hope I'm wrong.

Tried to help her out of a situation again here lately, thousands of dollars worth of help, never having any real contact with her, just voice and text, and got burned again I think. Or the second scenario is that something happened to her and I don;t know what it is. Worst part is, I would still help her, again. [Only person I have ever felt this way about is my ex-wife.] She, the provider, stopped talking to me about 5 days ago, suddenly. I feel like something happened to her but cant find out anything at this point. I hope she calls me back and at least lets me know she's OK even if I never see her again. Maybe she just wanted extra Christmas money, strong possibility I guess.

Hurts like hell. Even telling me to fuck off would be acceptable, at least I wouldn't feel like this.

I'm the perfect client / sucker I guess. If you can really convince me that you care, I'm lonely enough to probably go out of my way to help. I have enough money, though that supply is currently dwelling, to make a difference. Don't guess it really matters. Without somebody to spend it on that I care about.

I find the way some of the people on her speak of the providers like they are simply a chunk of meat to use offensive. I have a really hard time with that. I will admit that I have been with a couple of providers that I really didn't want to see again but that was because it felt cold and emotionless. I guess I just don't do that very well. Don't get me wrong, I still see providers occasionally though not as frequently anymore. I'm still human and still have needs. Porn and lube alone gets boring pretty fast.

A long term arrangement with someone would be nice I guess. I don't like to move around and change partners that much. Yes I understand she will still have clients unless something really weird happened,

Guess that makes me pretty weird as far as this board goes and I don't expect you to understand.

So... Y'all laugh and make fun of me all you want. I can't help what I feel for the woman. I just do. Know I really miss her.

Maybe drinking heavily will help, yeah right.

No I will not tell you who she is.

Hope your holiday season has gone and is going well.

[TheDr]

The heart loves what the heart loves. Can't always control it. That's why my parents tried to keep me away from the hot, ghetto chicks in Dallas SOC. They knew I could fall for them just as easily as a rich chick from Highland Park. And I did of course! But got over it pretty quickly- I was young. Lol.

If what you said was true I wish you well. Don't trip on what others may say you obviously needed to get that off your chest. But yeah they will prolly come pretty hard here soon. You shouldn't give a shyte though. Drinking won't help btw. I indirectly loss my mom because of drinking and directly loss my step dad due to it. And my previous SO was a heavy drinker but we won't go there.

Try not to be so nice. Nice guys finish last and get abused. I do understand your love and desire to help her but at some point you've got to say 'no.'

The best way to get over her is to get under someone else. Just sayin...

And happy holidays to you as well.

[Wikdj2]

I just wanted to be the 200th comment.

[5T3V3]

Originally Posted by Wakeup

Um...you know that hookers have SEX for MONEY...right?

And you think wives don't do it for money? Oh, yes. It is called security, but ... a large bank account is quite the aphrodisiac for both the professional girlfriend and the amateur girlfriend

In college a buddy of mine had a piece of shit Porsche 924 he bought for $3000 (new about $40,000). It was total crap w? 150,000 miles ... torn leather seats, split dash, but he got a $99 Maaco paint job, covered the leather seat with $50 of Sheep skin, and the dash with a dash cover ... the pussy he got when they found out he drove a Porsche was humongous. Now, he never miss lead them ... he told them he was a poor slob, but they didn't believe him, because no poor slob would drive a Porsche ( they thought he was being modest ... how sweet!)

Had the wife ... had the life ... let me tell you ... Rent a pussy is far cheaper then the little woman. And with rent a pussy when you want some to typically get some ... never forget WE ALL PAY FOR PUSSY ... it's just what are you willing pay for it?

[Blameme]

Originally Posted by MuffinMan42

. . . So my answer is yes, but I think it's a one way thing, which means that IN LOVE was not ever the real situation. Since loss of marriage and becoming very lonely in the past 10 years I guess I became quite vulnerable.

I fell for her meeting one, no sex, just a meeting and a couple of drinks, walking around and talking a bit of 6th street. There was just something about her, wasn't like I paid for her time, made me feel like I was human and not alone and somebody wanted to be around me. We had FUN, without sex, which came later and she was / is easily the best lover I have ever had. Knew how to push every emotional button and create that perfect feeling. It felt like a real connection, which I guess is the point.

Appears that she has retired, or at least quit for now. Been a while since she logged back in to p411. She has however been in touch with me quite a bit in the last couple of months. I got showed that there are those that will take advantage of that no matter how sincere you are I guess, essentially I guess I'm a sucker and that may be exactly what happened. A perfect mark so to speak. I still love her, I mean really. I hope I'm wrong.

Tried to help her out of a situation again here lately, thousands of dollars worth of help, never having any real contact with her, just voice and text, and got burned again I think. Or the second scenario is that something happened to her and I don;t know what it is. Worst part is, I would still help her, again. [Only person I have ever felt this way about is my ex-wife.] She, the provider, stopped talking to me about 5 days ago, suddenly. I feel like something happened to her but cant find out anything at this point. I hope she calls me back and at least lets me know she's OK even if I never see her again. Maybe she just wanted extra Christmas money, strong possibility I guess.

Hurts like hell. Even telling me to fuck off would be acceptable, at least I wouldn't feel like this.

I'm the perfect client / sucker I guess. If you can really convince me that you care, I'm lonely enough to probably go out of my way to help. I have enough money, though that supply is currently dwelling, to make a difference. Don't guess it really matters. Without somebody to spend it on that I care about. . .

Like TheDr said in the previous post, "The heart loves what the heart loves. Can't always control it." A little Salena Gomezish but there's truth in that. What I see in your post is a case of someone getting ransacked by their insecurities. Everyone has them but not everyone gets insecure in the same way. Even the best of us get ransacked once in awhile and when it happens it’s a challenge to realize that you could ever be so fragile.

Insecurity strikes when you doubt yourself, your worth, or your ability. Some of us have momentary blips and bounce back, while others get railroaded again and again. No one is perfect, or ever 100% strong. It’s normal to get insecure because it shows us what we're afraid of and fears are fucking natural. You can't brush them aside though, you have to deal with them head on though and not just sweep them under a rug and run. How you go about reacting to your insecurities shapes you and it tells people a lot about where you are emotionally.

What you've done here is you've made that girl the source of your love thereby giving away any control of your feelings or power. That isn't love or anything remotely healthy. Yea, unrequited love hurts bad... Real bad, but giving your power away is making someone else responsible for you and your feelings. You do this when you don’t know how to be what you need for yourself and that is the root of needy, desparate types. It’s fucked up and will continue to be until you wake up and take ownership of yourself. If you don't, you'll go bat shit crazy over and over again. If it's real, it'll go both directions and if it doesn't, then there's your friggin answer man.

Reflect on what happened. There's nothing like taking the 'ole pen and paper and writing it all out in order to sort things out for yourself. I see you did this in a way by making this post. Good luck!

Originally Posted by Starving Artist

I confess to having harbored some...unprofessional...feelin gs for a client. Total sneak attack too. I didn't have that sense that there was a budding romance in the midst, or if I did, I subconsciously ignored it. If I had be aware I was beginning to have feelings for a clients, I'd have been on guard, and surely not have allowed them to grow. Alas, it was more like I just looked up one day, already in the throws of a bona fide case of lovey-doveys, and said to myself, "oh my god, no!"

It's not that this is the worst thing that could happen, and given the intimate dynamic inherent of provider/client relationships, it's not exactly a huge surprise when it does.

The real predicament falling for a client creates for me is that is lose the client. If it's unrequited love, then I can't give him what he's paying for. If it's requited, then he can't be my client, because (ahem) money can't buy love.

Great post Starving Artist. This very happened to me very recently. It got me thinking about all the things that I responded to in the previous quote as well. Like you so eloquently put it, I wasn't looking for feelings in this hobby. When I started this, I just wanted to have sex with beautiful women in a simple and convenient way with zero attachments. I'm a busy man outside the hobby.

Then, one day, WHAM-O! I met a girl with whom I started to develop feelings for.

It shouldn't surprise me either because even in this provider/client paradigm we're all human. Like the song goes though, "it was something in the way she moves." It was more than her beautiful "brown" eyes -- it was a connection. After a while, I felt like I started to exhibit some of the things I harped on earlier in the prior quote until the other day I was like What...The....Hell...No! Get a grip! I'm normally as cool as a cucumber but these feelings are indeed "sneaky." You just have to catch yourself.

I have to say I'll never apologize for loving the people I choose to love, even if it's unreturned. That's their problem and not mine. It's like a rule of mine. Falling for a provider though? At least the relationship can be open to a point where judgements get thrown out the window. Anything is possible. My predicament is do I keep seeing this provider. I don't want to loose her but, alluding back to SA's quote above, money can't buy love.

[Exeter.T]

You know it is a tough situation, if it happens just take it day by day. If things do escalate and a request to find a different job comes up (probably doesn't happen in all situations) then if you really love that person it could be worth the sacrifice. It is all about what both parties can agree upon to meet that happy medium. Takes time as well.

[technomuzic]

My best friend is a Doctor and came over to my house one day and said that there was going to be a lot of pain in his marriage soon and I said to myself " Holy shit he's going to come out of the closet or something" then he told me he met a provider. He soon got divorced, got her a college degree, got her out of the business and they live happily ever after in a beautiful house in the Woodlands. A complete Pretty woman sort of Story. And man this girl had come from a hard background and now you wouldn't even know it. :-)

[YSD]

@technomuzic: I like your story. I have been hobbying for about 12 years and can honestly say that there have been 3 ATFs from various times that I know I could have settled down with. timing never worked out. Some of you can laugh but some of the nicest girls I know are providers. so many have good hearts but demons. there are many genuinely nice women I have met throughout the years through the hobby.

[Wakeup]

Originally Posted by 5T3V3

Blah blah blah

You missed the point completely...

You said that the two biggest factors that break up marriages are sexual issues and money issues...the two things that hookers bring to the table are money issues and sex issues...then you asked why wouldn't it work. You see the inherent contradiction there?

The two biggest things they bring to a marraige are the two biggest things that break up marriages...

Doom...

[Timetoplay]

Originally Posted by Wakeup

Um...you know that hookers have SEX for MONEY...right?

Originally Posted by Wakeup

You missed the point completely...

You said that the two biggest factors that break up marriages are sexual issues and money issues...the two things that hookers bring to the table are money issues and sex issues...then you asked why wouldn't it work. You see the inherent contradiction there?

The two biggest things they bring to a marraige are the two biggest things that break up marriages...

Doom...

I have to agree with Wakeup on this subject. He's generally the last person I agree with but this is a
"FUCKING HOOKER BOARD". Move on if you know what's good for you. The main reason I hobby is the choice of who I fuck and when I fuck them. With no strings attached. The financial and emotional responsibility ends when the donation is paid.

Besides the fact that this was a thread about "Nycole" she's gone for now and maybe forever. Another runaway thread.

[BigLouie]

I have known three guys who fell in love with a provider, got married and all that. None worked out.

[Blade2607]

I think I am very close, but can't allow it to happeni. She would never care for more than a friend, since I'm 30 years older. I have seen this providor's several times, first at her in-call, then she allowed me to her condo. From the beginning, she gave me multiple hours. She even saw me when she took a brief time away from the hobby. Our time together always has as much conversation as sex. She is by far the most beautiful, and extremely intelligent, which I find vey sexual and appealing.
I have probably said too much...so I'll stop at that.