Welcome to ECCIE, become a part of the fastest growing adult community. Take a minute & sign up!

Welcome to ECCIE - Sign up today!

Become a part of one of the fastest growing adult communities online. We have something for you, whether you’re a male member seeking out new friends or a new lady on the scene looking to take advantage of our many opportunities to network, make new friends, or connect with people. Join today & take part in lively discussions, take advantage of all the great features that attract hundreds of new daily members!

Go Premium

Go Back   ECCIE Worldwide > General Interest > Comedy Central
test
Comedy Central All your funny stuff goes here.

Most Favorited Images
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
Most Liked Images
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
  • Thumb
Top Reviewers
cockalatte 646
MoneyManMatt 490
Still Looking 399
samcruz 399
Jon Bon 396
Harley Diablo 377
honest_abe 362
DFW_Ladies_Man 313
Chung Tran 288
lupegarland 287
nicemusic 285
You&Me 281
Starscream66 279
George Spelvin 265
sharkman29 255
Top Posters
DallasRain70793
biomed163231
Yssup Rider60955
gman4453294
LexusLover51038
offshoredrilling48654
WTF48267
pyramider46370
bambino42591
CryptKicker37218
The_Waco_Kid37009
Mokoa36496
Chung Tran36100
Still Looking35944
Mojojo33117

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 03-10-2022, 09:07 PM   #1
Michael8219
BANNED
 
Michael8219's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 5, 2021
Location: Nekid face down on the table
Posts: 2,846
Encounters: 20
Default Car salesmen

Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, "Boy, this economy sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass!" Too late, he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.

"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem. If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car!"

source: Jokes4us.com
Michael8219 is offline   Quote
Old 03-13-2022, 05:09 PM   #2
VENUSNOVA
Pending Age Verification
 
User ID: 10675
Join Date: Jan 25, 2010
Location: ❤️my home is not here but currently in USA
Posts: 2,099
My ECCIE Reviews
Default

ROFLMAO!!!
VENUSNOVA is offline   Quote
Old 03-31-2022, 08:20 PM   #3
oral_dlites
Premium Access
 
Join Date: Feb 5, 2010
Location: Near Dallas
Posts: 537
Encounters: 119
Default

5 stars!
oral_dlites is offline   Quote
Old 05-10-2022, 06:40 AM   #4
ben dover
Premium Access
 
ben dover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 16, 2009
Location: Rochester
Posts: 6,165
Encounters: 104
Default

Used car salesperson to customer: How would you like to buy a car with zero down and zero per month?

Customer: (slight pause) For how many months?
ben dover is offline   Quote
Old 05-10-2022, 07:35 AM   #5
offshoredrilling
Valued Poster
 
offshoredrilling's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 12, 2009
Location: near Lake Ontario
Posts: 48,654
Encounters: 36
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ben dover View Post
Used car salesperson to customer: How would you like to buy a car with zero down and zero per month?

Customer: (slight pause) For how many months?
is this a carjacking joke????
or
am I reading to much news in ROC NY ????
just askin
offshoredrilling is offline   Quote
Old 05-11-2022, 05:34 AM   #6
ben dover
Premium Access
 
ben dover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 16, 2009
Location: Rochester
Posts: 6,165
Encounters: 104
Default

Too much bad news in Rochester these days.
ben dover is offline   Quote
Old 05-12-2022, 05:55 AM   #7
bambino
Valued Poster
 
bambino's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 7, 2010
Location: Dive Bar
Posts: 42,591
Encounters: 29
Default

Bought a used car last week and found my wife’s dress in the back seat. I get no respect I’ll tell ya.

Rodney Dangerfield
bambino is online now   Quote
Old 05-12-2022, 06:19 PM   #8
Michael8219
BANNED
 
Michael8219's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 5, 2021
Location: Nekid face down on the table
Posts: 2,846
Encounters: 20
Default

An elderly dealership executive was entering the office saying hello to the receptionist and office workers when the young female receptionist asked,
"Did you go off and leave the garage door open this morning."

The executive replied,
"No, I remembered to close the garage door." And went on to his office.

A little later he noticed that his pants were unzipped and realized what the receptionist was trying to tell him. He went back down to her office and said,
"I got to thinking about the garage door and I believe I did leave it open this morning and was just wondering if you saw my Hummer parked inside."

The quick thinking receptionist replied,
"No, all I saw was a Mini-Van sitting on 2 flat tires."
Michael8219 is offline   Quote
Old 05-13-2022, 08:45 AM   #9
tia travels
Let's Have A Great Year!
 
tia travels's Avatar
 
User ID: 1650
Join Date: Jul 28, 2009
Location: Indianapolis & Touring
My Bio Page
Posts: 10,589
My ECCIE Reviews
Default

Used car salesman aren't in it for the money. They just like lying to strangers.
tia travels is offline   Quote
Old 05-13-2022, 08:51 AM   #10
tia travels
Let's Have A Great Year!
 
tia travels's Avatar
 
User ID: 1650
Join Date: Jul 28, 2009
Location: Indianapolis & Touring
My Bio Page
Posts: 10,589
My ECCIE Reviews
Default

A man walks into a car dealership and sees the car of his dreams.

He walks up to it, and gives it the whole over/under but can't find a price listed anywhere on it.

He runs his hands along the door and when he does, he accidentally lets out a loud fart. He looks around quickly to see if anyone heard him, and no one seemed to have heard.

A few minutes go by and a salesman walks up to the man and asks if there is anything he could help the man with.

The man says "I'd like to know the MSRP on this car"

The salesman tells the man "Well sir, I'd rather not tell you"

Bewildered, the man asks the salesman why not.

The salesman responded "Well if you farted just by touching it, you're going to shit when you hear the price"
tia travels is offline   Quote
Old 05-13-2022, 08:51 AM   #11
tia travels
Let's Have A Great Year!
 
tia travels's Avatar
 
User ID: 1650
Join Date: Jul 28, 2009
Location: Indianapolis & Touring
My Bio Page
Posts: 10,589
My ECCIE Reviews
Default

The salesman says “hello sir, are you thinking about buying that Lamborghini?”

The millionaire says, “I’m going to buy the Lamborghini. I’m thinking about pussy.”
tia travels is offline   Quote
Old 05-13-2022, 08:52 AM   #12
tia travels
Let's Have A Great Year!
 
tia travels's Avatar
 
User ID: 1650
Join Date: Jul 28, 2009
Location: Indianapolis & Touring
My Bio Page
Posts: 10,589
My ECCIE Reviews
Default

I went to a car dealership last week and saw a Lamborghini that really caught my eye. I'm just waiting for my paycheck now....

So I can pay for an Uber and go see it again.
tia travels is offline   Quote
Old 05-13-2022, 08:53 AM   #13
tia travels
Let's Have A Great Year!
 
tia travels's Avatar
 
User ID: 1650
Join Date: Jul 28, 2009
Location: Indianapolis & Touring
My Bio Page
Posts: 10,589
My ECCIE Reviews
Default

My friend is always complaining about the Swedish car dealership he works at. Today I had enough and finally said I don’t want to hear anymore of your Saab stories
tia travels is offline   Quote
Old 05-13-2022, 08:57 AM   #14
tia travels
Let's Have A Great Year!
 
tia travels's Avatar
 
User ID: 1650
Join Date: Jul 28, 2009
Location: Indianapolis & Touring
My Bio Page
Posts: 10,589
My ECCIE Reviews
Default

I wish my girlfriend wasn't so obsessed about her breast size. Even a trip to the car dealership became embarrassing.

She told the guy she wanted something that'll get her from A to B.
tia travels is offline   Quote
Old 05-13-2022, 08:59 AM   #15
tia travels
Let's Have A Great Year!
 
tia travels's Avatar
 
User ID: 1650
Join Date: Jul 28, 2009
Location: Indianapolis & Touring
My Bio Page
Posts: 10,589
My ECCIE Reviews
Default

A man walks happily into a car dealership with an emu.

A salesman walks up to the man and asks, "Can I help you?" The man replies, "I would like to buy your most expensive car." Humoring the man with the emu, the salesman leads him over to a Bentley and says, "This model costs 204,572.99 dollars." Without missing a beat, the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly 204,572.99 and hands it to the salesman. The salesman's jaw drops, and he asks, "How did you know? How did you do that?" The man explains, "A couple of years ago, I found a lamp on a beach. When I rubbed the sand off of it, a genie popped out and gave me two wishes. My first wish was that whenever I had to pay for anything, I could just reach into my pocket, and the exact money I needed would be there." "Incredible!" Says the salesman, "You'll never run out of money like that, what a smart wish! What was your second wish?" The man scowls at the emu, now pecking his newly bought car. "My second wish was for a chick with long legs."
tia travels is offline   Quote
Reply



AMPReviews.net
Find Ladies
Hot Women

Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright © 2009 - 2016, ECCIE Worldwide, All Rights Reserved