Introspective discussion about ourselves from within the hobby

[WTF]

HaHa you boys are knocking'em dead today, literally.

[Ansley]

Powder blue polyester, isn't quite the image I had of RK. Now his theme song "Friends in Low Places" is beginning to make sense.

[Rudyard K]

Originally Posted by Ansley

Powder blue polyester, isn't quite the image I had of RK.

I had to have something to go with my powder blue ropers. Sadly, I even had a leisure suit, back in the day, as my "Sunday go to meet'n" clothes.

[essence]

Originally Posted by KaraLynnKelley

So it brings us back to the age old debate: Which would you rather spend, money or time? After thoroughly reading this thread, the fun of the chase (spending time) doesn't compare to the guarantee of a sure thing (spending money) for a lot of guys. Interesting!

It is too easy to compartmentalize. It doesn't have to be either or.

I was recently in Hamburg for two nights. It would have been very easy to get a sure thing, but I wasn't interested. Also didn't have everlasting time. So I got the best of both worlds - a nice dinner with a girl from a sb/sd site, with no expectations of a sure thing, I had to put on my best behaviour and flatter her etc., I had to do some chasing which was fun, and then she reciprocated which was even more fun. But I would have enjoyed it even if she hadn't come back to my hotel - a lot more than a sure thing with somebody I didn't like.

So, in short, I like some uncertainty and a chase, it works out best for both.

What tasted better, the paella at dinner or her pussy afterwards? They both did! But the moment in the restaurant when you realise by looking at somebody that you are soon going to get lots of loving and you don't even have to ask is the most memorable.

Believe me, girls from sd/sb sites are by no means a sure thing.

OMG just realised what forum I'm in, I'm not a tux guy!

[am-a-pleaser]

boredinbingo started this discussion as a look at ourselves, As the discussion has ensued, it may seem as though some have gone off-topic. That does, however, give us a look at ourselves.

The reasons for being in the hobby are quite diverse. I have many of my own reasons, that I could state. I also know the core reason, but I choose not to share that in a public (or even private) discussion.

KaraLynnKelley - there is a chase. The screening, particular availabilty.

Lauren, I mostly agree with your ensights.

Laurentius made me think of the fact that a traumatic event could trigger someone stepping into this realm. I was reminded of that in a different forum as well.

Ansley seems to be a private, respectful lady. The number of visitors might suggest many are interetsed if the discussion, probably have their own personal reasons for bing a part of this lifestyle, however they choose not to participate.

LAVixian does it for fun. Yea!

This has been an insightful discussion, and I have learned much. I appreciate all participants. Maybe it's caused others to think and see things from many perspectives.

I'll check back for further discussion.

[N2SEX46]

For me, there has never been any guilt. I served in the military for over 30 years working my way up to colonel from airman. During all of my years of service, I was never unfaithful until my last year. Our first seven years of marriage were great, four kids and everything great. After that, sex was vertually nil. She didn't want to do anything anymore. For both of us, divorce was out of the question, because of our religious upbringing and the kids. It was pure agony when I came home from hours of flying, more than a few missions in a war zone and our plane having taken hits, all horny and worked up only to always being greeted with a kiss and hug, and later when in bed, "Just hold me," she'd complain. I was put on orders to go to Tampa for duty flying tankers and had to stay at a Marriott due to McDill AFB FL Billeting being filled. Just for grins and giggles, I brought up Eros and found a beautiful young girl and called her. I told her I'd like an overnighter and later that evening, I had a bed partner. I wondered, "Will I be upset with myself in the morning? Will I suffer guilt pangs? Will it affect my piloting skills?" In a word, "NO" That next morning, I felt great. My boom operator said, "Colonel, you look like a million." I felt like a million and those two flying days were my best ever. Instead of demanding work, I was having fun and my copilot was cracking up with me. In fact, young Miss Ashley came back over the following two nights. She said she really enjoyed herself, that I knew what I was doing and the sex was great. She really fixed herself up to look super sharp, as if she hadn't been during our initial meeting. I've been in this hobby for over five years now and have no regrets. These escorts probably don't know how many marriages they've saved, mine for one. My wife has no idea what I do to get sexual relief. I've found that her sisters are the same as she, unsexual. All six of them have been married and divorced at least once. She resumed her teaching career after my retirement and I help her. She's happy and I get a joy and satisfaction in helping some of her slower kids (5 year olds) prepare for 1st grade. She's happy that I don't bug her about sex and she must think I'm no longer interested in it either. I am very highly oversexed and being independenty well to do, it is no problem for me and I don't deny her needs, as I take care of the money, give to various charities and the church, help our grown children when they need it, and when I get horny, there's always Eros and Preferred411. If I sound like a cad, perhaps I am, but I'm a man with needs, like obviously many of you out there and I love a passionate escort and value my time with them and I'm told, by many repeats that they value my time and friendship. There must be a reason why we are hobbyists. I just gave you mine. Good luck on coming to grips with your thoughts on the hobby.

RE: It's easy to oversimplify and say that we're all just horny dudes with crappy sex lives at home that want to meet young, attractive women - and that providers are all women who are seeking some sort of validation or affection. It's easy to say that we're all sex addicts and drug addicts who cyclically enable each other, but I find that those statements are a load of crap. The common narratives and generalizations I think we can agree are not adequate to describe our experiences as providers and hobbyists. What do you think?

[Carmen817]

Provider here. Best part for me is being control of my life. I’m not on anyone else’s time (except appointments obviously) and I’m able to be myself at all times ! No shit boss to kiss up to. Another thing I’ve grown to appreciate is the admiration. Being told how beautiful and my body being appreciatied by men who make me feel like a goddess. It does numbers for my confidence. Money doesn’t hurt either.

[yourdesire]

Quite an interesting post, personally I did the self esteem building & checked my thoughts & emotions before starting, I actually started once I figured out I didn't dislike sex as I thought all my life I've just been bored. I tried a few encounters out side the hobby and asked myself why not go get paid vs doing it free so after a few months of doing homework here I am

[Anonymous01]

I have two different reactions on participating in the "hobby":


In the US, I have all but given up on it, with the federal level criminalization via FOSTA/SESTA. Providers are (rightfully) guarded and suspicious. The more available tools to screen a prospective client have disappeared. I have no concrete data, but I sense that a lot of providers who were financially OK and participated because they liked the variation of sex went UTR - they were / are my favorite providers.


Again, anecdotally, it seems the number of providers who are more financially strapped and need cash quickly have increased. In the past, when I sent a provider a P411 pre-screen request invariably the provider looked at it before replying. Lately, most of the providers I have contacted on P411 don't even look at my profile and answer with a curt, "When do you want to meet?". If I don't answer within a few hours, they ignore subsequent attempts to contact them.


So, as a matter of public policy, the hobby in the US remains dangerous, sordid, and risky. I pretty much have abandoned it here in the US, especially after a 100% infection rate after meeting with some of ECCIE's most highly reviewed providers. The only "bare" activities I engaged in were BBBJ. So while I did not have an overwhelming sense of guilt, I did have an overwhelming sense of "What the hell are you doing?"



My experiences abroad have been completely the opposite. Again, doing a lot of research before contacting a provider, I find that my contacts are polite, timely, and discussion about activities beforehand very open and honest. The younger providers tend to be REAL University students (with valid student ID), and the older, MILF type of providers tend to be successful business women who enjoy sex as much, if not more than I do. One particular German lady in her mid-40's had at me so feverishly she actually injured me! As Lili Marlene once said, "In America, sex is an obsession. In the rest of the world, it is merely a fact."


I have absolutely no guilt after meeting with an "average" provider abroad - they are well educated, fanatic about hygiene, safety and screening, and are more likely to engage in what we call "PSE" activities than their American counterparts. In a feminine way, they can be more sexually aggressive as us inhibited Americans. They stay in touch, as well - imagine receiving emails afterwards thanking you for a memorable experience and looking forward to the next one?


I leave such encounters invigorated, refreshed, happy and fulfilled. I feel complete, not like a deviant pervert. I sleep well at night - because they understand the importance of intimacy, trust, and discretion - and the fact that the majority of them screw me into the ground until all that is left of me is a smoking remnant of my former self!


So, hobbying in the US leads me to a lot of introspection, mostly of the "Why are you doing this?" variety, whereas hobbying overseas is more of the "What new, fantastic friend am I going to meet today/"