Quote:
Originally Posted by budman33
Sadly, I serve more purpose than you.
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Since the, humorous and totally fictitious, above statement and the equally humorous and totally fictitious texting between Whispers and ToyZ has come out in the open, I have some of that good old humorous, fictional stuff too. Hopefully, we can all laugh and some of us start hitting the RTM buttom like they were playing a 70's PacMan game at $ a point. So here is some "Fiction" I dreamt/dreamed up
The end of Buttman33 as we know him, fairytale.
There is a scandalous rumor that INBEV (Owners of Buttweiser) is dumping Buttman33, yanking his sponsorship here at ECCIE due to image violations, and are filing cease and desist orders to keep the butt name from being damaged as Buttweiser has a reputation to sustain. Crappy beer butt a great company, or used to be before they sold to the rape and plundering capitalists at INBEV.
It is said the failure to achieve sales and marketing goals to the hoogar/monger market here at ECCIE was just a ministerial reason for their rumored actions.
C.S.S. numbers are allegedly at an all time low and those preforming C.S. on his self proclaimed watch said that wannabe flunke every other weekend the ends in an odd number graveyard Customer Service Supervisor (yes, he wears Khakis when Beldar calls at 3am) has been telling customers, management, and associates that only he serves a purpose and that they didn't. Moral is way down, and now he's complaining to upper management and they just shake their head, have a lower level manager send him to "leadership skills for Dummies" seminars and it's giving both the organization and the Customer Service a bad rap. The employees are emailing cartoons of some guy in blue tights and wearing a red cape with a handful of butts. The Quote on the bottom reads " Customer Service is NOT an Oxymoron" but it's crossed out to read "Our C.S. mgr is a MORON"
Now that his ECCIE project has been yanked, he is headed back to the mailroom if he is allowed to stay with Buttweiser. The lucrative sponsorship deal, however, is gone forever.
The word behind the dumpster is that his agent had a dual sponsorship deal ready to close. (I am wondering what his new handle will become.) The only sponsors showing interest were Preparation H and Magnum Condoms. He rejected samples of Magnums but jumped on the "all you can shove up your ass" suppositories that had a 2011 use by dates..
They quickly and sternly informed him that utilizing samples of Magnums for personal use will get him the old" ..... up to and including termination" paperwork that they had in sign several times before he was fired from Inbev/ Buttweiser.
Here is his uniform
He was quick to point out that giving out free samples at "Holiday" and other non-sanctioned parties, Eccie or otherwise, was going to be a major emphasis of his efforts to advertise the benefits of both products to a diverse customer base. He went on to inform them that there are a lot of members that are severely butthurt, lots of newbies to become butthurt, and just about all the mongers, butt one: Pyrimider, bragg about the size of their "Big Cawk's" and are always stating that "they attempted Greek" in reviews!!!! You must be hung like a hippo (shout out) to be successful in ass fucking an ass that is bigger around than four cases of longneck bottles is understandable.
I am sure he will serve a meaningful purpose in his new role but I bet he needs some help with a handle. Magnum man is already taken!!!!
I think we should all get a list of "bandles" as when he does make a handle change (and try to keep his reviews) we may want to have some serious back up bandles.
I am sure he will be the same, that he always has been, reciting the rules just as much butt he will have plenty of Prep H. to help with the Butthurt and according to his alleged employment position, he will be forced to talk up the features and benefits and hand out free samples and gather marketing information (on label and off label uses) of both Preparation H and Magnum Condoms.
Talk about serving a purpose and putting things where they should be!!!
