At a town hall meeting in New Orleans yesterday, a little boy asked Obama the question that’s plagued him since he was born. Mr. Obama sir, why the fuck does everyone hate you so damn much? He didn’t swear that much, mind you, but research shows people love it when we swear on this site so we toss it in whenever we can. Cock!
Obama began his answer in a very diplomatic and well spoken fashion. Not everyone hates me. I got elected President. Plus, sometimes shit happens. It’s all good. But is it, Barack (we can call him Barack, because we’re tight. He let FunnyCrave spend a weekend in the White House plus everyone on staff got to have CIA operatives kill someone for us for free!)? Is it all so good?
The answer is no. There are more varied reasons why people hate Barack Obama other than politics and people frustrated by hard times. And here’s the handy list that breaks it down for you, of who hates Obama and why.
Glenn Beck – Hates Obama because of a drunken evening a year ago watching Black Snake Moan and getting very confused while looking for a tranny prostitute who looked like Sam Jackson. Has been uneasy near minorities in positions of power ever since.
FOXNews – Hates Obama because Rupert Murdoch only hires the most ignorant ass clowns money can buy, sort of an Imperial Clone Army of retards who think and say whatever they’re told, as long as it comes out sounding stupid and self righteous.
Southerners (to clarify, just the ones that hate Obama) – A combination of any of these three reasons. They hate Obama for taking away flavored dip, they hate Obama for being an un-American terrorist or they hate Obama because he’s black (on account of they’re racist).
Republicans – Much the same as southerners, only instead of dip, it’s because he’s a Democrat and they are contractually obligated to dislike him.
Internet Commenters on any and every board regardless of whether it has anything to do with the President – Don’t actually hate Obama, but people who comment on the internet have a 99.7% chance of being clinically retarded and therefore can’t be held accountable for what they type.
Conservative Bloggers – Hate Obama because they are repressed homosexuals who have tried to hide their love of cock behind a tall, chilly wall of firearms, Christianity and unease around people who are not as white as they are.
http://funnycrave.com/why-does-everyone-hate-obama/4822/
This gave me a good laugh.