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Old 03-09-2014, 05:34 PM   #1
CaptainKaos
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Default African Americans

I know the subject's been debated for ever on here, so I'm not wishing to come on one side or the other.

I just thought I'd share a bit of irony with you all. A provider just turned me down because she thinks I'm black. No, I won't say who it was because I think a gal can see who she wants. And, to be fair, my avatar is a black guy and I do say that I'm a hustla' extrordinaire, so what does she have to go on other than that?

While this is a far cry from experiencing life during Jim Crowe, I can see why being turned away for simply being black would upset a black man. But knowing that if someone doesn't want to see me, then they don't have to, I can agree that providers should use whatever rules they're comfortable with when it comes to screening customers.


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Old 03-09-2014, 06:00 PM   #2
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I don't turn someone away because they're black or I think they may be. I always feel bad for the gentlemen that get turned down by ladies for that reason. But as you said, you understand that ladies can use whatever rules they're comfortable with. It's a business where a lot of personal and physical contact take place between the lady and the guy, so rules and personal preferences are understood by most. I think that girls who say they turn guys down, simply because they're black are the ones with management most times. But still, we all have our boundaries and for some, its the color of ones skin. I won't go into it too much on this thread but..... As I always say, money is the only color I am concerned with.
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Old 03-09-2014, 06:12 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainKaos View Post
While this is a far cry from experiencing life during Jim Crowe, I can see why being turned away for simply being black would upset a black man. But knowing that if someone doesn't want to see me, then they don't have to, I can agree that providers should use whatever rules they're comfortable with when it comes to screening customers.



stereotyping/profiling are things we all do constantly.

I know someone who won't ever kill a spider she finds indoors, she likes to only kill black widows, since they are harmful to humans.
I kill every spider I see (inside),I see no reason to take any chance. So I squish and don't ID them.

People have to deal with some stereotype usually as we all get judged on our looks, sometimes its a postive stereotype, sometimes negative.
Such is life.




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Old 03-09-2014, 06:25 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainKaos View Post
I just thought I'd share a bit of irony with you all. A provider just turned me down because she thinks I'm black. No, I won't say who it was because I think a gal can see who she wants. And, to be fair, my avatar is a black guy and I do say that I'm a hustla' extrordinaire, so what does she have to go on other than that?
I hope this is question is not interpreted as stupid, but I am guessing from this statement that the provider you attempted to schedule with is a member of this board. Did she state in her advertising that she did not see African-American males?
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Old 03-09-2014, 06:27 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainKaos View Post
I know the subject's been debated for ever on here, so I'm not wishing to come on one side or the other.

I just thought I'd share a bit of irony with you all. A provider just turned me down because she thinks I'm black. No, I won't say who it was because I think a gal can see who she wants. And, to be fair, my avatar is a black guy and I do say that I'm a hustla' extrordinaire, so what does she have to go on other than that?

While this is a far cry from experiencing life during Jim Crowe, I can see why being turned away for simply being black would upset a black man. But knowing that if someone doesn't want to see me, then they don't have to, I can agree that providers should use whatever rules they're comfortable with when it comes to screening customers.



The struggle is real my non-black brotha!!
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Old 03-09-2014, 06:35 PM   #6
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The struggle is real my non-black brotha!!
Real Talk!
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Old 03-09-2014, 06:36 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by ou812ne View Post
I hope this is question is not interpreted as stupid, but I am guessing from this statement that the provider you attempted to schedule with is a member of this board. Did she state in her advertising that she did not see African-American males?
She clearly says that in her advertising and she advertises on this board, and I'm sure she's a cool chick and could be worth someone's time. I found the incident kind of funny and am not pissed at her in the least.
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Old 03-09-2014, 06:37 PM   #8
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There is a reason girls turn away African American men. Two in fact that tie together.

One being, if a young lady has acquired management. Part of the rules of management is one cannot see other African American men. This is to avoid other management soliciting or convincing the lady to join his business instead.

The other reason being that, in general, management tends to be African American. Some ladies simply prefer to avoid the possibility of being approached by ANY management.

This being said, I don't usually have a problem myself as I am not the type normally targeted by management.

I hope this sheds some light on the issue and to all of the normal gentlemen like African American men out there. I am truly sorry for the hassle and complications you have to face in regards to this hobby
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Old 03-09-2014, 06:49 PM   #9
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I really don't know what is going on in the hooktard community, however, there seems to be a new prevalence of ladies with a No Blacks Allowed (NBA) policy.

Some ladies don't advertise having such a policy... in some cases, that can be bad for a gentleman shopping around for companionship (we're all just looking for companionship right?) and finding out at the last possible moment that a provider won't see you because of your ethnicity. One provider turning you away because she thinks you might be black--I'm sure that's easy to chalk up to being her perrogative. When you've hit the 20th or 30th one, give me a call and we'll compare notes haha

Personally, I think I'm a nice guy, I'm well read, well mannered, funny, articulate (notice, only black people describe themselves as articulate? It is code for the white people we deal with to let them know that if they use big words, we can follow along), and well thought of by my peers... however, if a lady can't look past my skin to see how awesome a person I am--well... fuck that bitch. No, really, fuck her... Because, I wanted to and can't because, ya know... I'm black haha

There are a lot of reasons women give for having a NBA policy... I think 80% them are usually full of shit. Some, however, have made a distinction between a certain type of client they will not see--rude, aggressive, ungentlemanly, or ill-mannered in general... others restrict based off of age within a particular ethnicity/demographic... I don't have an issue with these things because they don't have an effect on my interactions. However, if I were young, black and maybe a little cocky--I can see how such policies would be frustrating to see over and over again.

As it stands, I've been coming up with witty come-backs for ladies who say no to seeing me based only off my skin color... and in the meantime, my avatar is of Benedict Cumberbatch... one of the whitest of white guys (and a damn fine actor)... maybe that will do more to get my foot in the door than the Basic plus 14 OK's I have on P411.
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Old 03-09-2014, 06:55 PM   #10
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I have described myself as articulate for years. I must be the palest black woman anyone has every met!
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Old 03-09-2014, 07:06 PM   #11
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I have described myself as articulate for years. I must be the palest black woman anyone has every met!
Hmm... I haven't met you. Do you have some black in you? Do you want some?

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Old 03-09-2014, 07:08 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by JayceeRivers View Post
There is a reason girls turn away African American men. Two in fact that tie together.

One being, if a young lady has acquired management. Part of the rules of management is one cannot see other African American men. This is to avoid other management soliciting or convincing the lady to join his business instead.
so management is always black? Glad we are avoiding stereotyping/profiling.

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The other reason being that, in general, management tends to be African American. Some ladies simply prefer to avoid the possibility of being approached by ANY management.
I thought the avoidance of black people was due to the fact they are stereotyped as having large packages and seeing a provider would cause her physical issues. Sure a lady can pass kids and not have issues, but she isnt passing a kid daily/weekly.
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Old 03-09-2014, 07:14 PM   #13
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Management isn't always black but management does prohibit their girls from seeing black guys in the hobby.
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Old 03-09-2014, 07:18 PM   #14
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Hmm... I haven't met you. Do you have some black in you? Do you want some?

Money line!

Fast forward to 2:41.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-I7JJChM6IQ
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Old 03-09-2014, 07:19 PM   #15
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I have not now, nor have I ever judged a man based on his color, size, or looks. I can be on occasion partial to older gentlemen simply because I have more in common with them.

As for the reasons. Yes for some ladies it is the potential size. However some would rather decline with a "compliment" and avoid complications.

My apologies if my insight was taken wrong. I had inside sources and thought it might be helpful to share.

Do I see African American men? Absolutely. provided they are gentlemanly. the same standard I hold to any race or skin tone.
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