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Old 02-14-2014, 12:13 PM   #16
JRLawrence
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Default Obtuse!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dondo7 View Post
I hear ya, I'm old school too..I like it all free from ink...extremely hard to find these days, especially in the hobby. I'll get blasted for this next comment but to me, ink identifies baggage and skeletons in the closet which isn't a big deal in the hobby but in real life, it's a red flag and I avoid.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemma34 View Post
Although some people do still judge those with tattoos, I think its a lot more accepted now than it used to be. I got my tattoos almost immediately after I began in this hobby and I have succeeded in marketing myself with that certain inked up look. Works for me and I see it works for others. Even nurses, military soldiers, bondsmen, lawyers, wait staff, doctors, etc. Etc.... A lot of restaurants dont like the neck tattoos but even some of those restaurants have become more flexible with this. So I don't see tasteful beautiful tattoos as distracting. I've already listed what I feel is distracting to me...
I was speaking about outside of the hobby vs. inside the hobby. Outside the hobby you will be judge for what you are. As for your examples:
Military units with special functions - no visible tattoos.
Bondsmen - a lower culture guy
I covered the wait staff - wake up
Nurses & Doctors - A lot of locations absolutely will not hire. Period.
You have your narrow opinion, and that is OK; but, you are viewing the question from only your side of the street.

With that attitude you will only live on your side of the street. You will be limited if you ever want to cross over to the other side of the street. If you meet with the teachers of your children, don't embarrass your kids: they are the ones who will suffer from how others view you.

Sorry, but you will be judged. So keep it hidden, or don't you care?
Only the obtuse (read that as slow to understand) will ask: Why don't some people like me?

Go see the movie "The girl with the Dragon Tattoo". She hid the tattoo, and took out the piercings when she wanted to be accepted by society at the end of the picture.

At the start of the picture she didn't give a damn what others thought of her. She presented herself with a fuck you attitude, even though she was extremely intelligent.

You can walk on either sides of the street, if you understand which side you are on so that you conduct yourself accordingly.

JR
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Old 02-14-2014, 01:05 PM   #17
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Tattoos exist everywhere so I am speaking in general, obviously from this thread we see that even in the hobby not everyone likes tattoos. I am viewing from both sides of the street. And you calling my opinion narrow seems a bit....like you live on only one side of the street.

And a tattoo or anything about me DOES NOT and WILL NOT ever in life embarass my kids. I've raised my kids to not waste precious time worrying about what other people think of them. Are you fucking joking??! Why would you even say that shit?? We don't teach kids to judge their parents. And mine get straight A's and excel in sports and are damn good kids, so I wouldn't think that reflects too poorly on me. And I sure dont give a rats ass if anyone likes me, especially based on some tattoos. And knowing how to conduct myself has nothing to do with whether or not I cover my tattoos up. Telling me to hide my tattoos if I care is like me telling you to hide that you are a prejudice judging person. But you can't hide who you are. My tattoos will never affect who I am inside. But you are still a judgemental person who is worried what society thinks about an outside appearance. I would hope that a man with the level of education you have would know to NEVER bring children into an adult discussion. And I would strongly advise you to know about both sides of the street yourself before you try to tell me how I'm being judged.

And did you really call a bondsman a low cultured guy??

Maybe you should have read my quote on my signature line a few more times.
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Old 02-14-2014, 01:42 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JRLawrence View Post
" I realize this is a very generational thing, but as one of the old farts on the board, any more than a few smallish tats are distracting to me. A butterfly here or a flower there are fine but more gets a bit much.

A long time regular was fairly tat free when I started seeing her but after 5-6 years, she is pretty tatted up now. First it started with the name of her forever boyfriend, then she had to get a bigger tat to cover that one up when they broke up. Then tats for dead relatives so that she looks like a roadside memorial in spots. Then another forever boyfriend later covered up (wouldn't you think she would have learned after the first one?). Then a bird, then a butterfly. A big star with "Death Before Dishonor" on it. Probably a few more.

My other one who retired started off with only a couple but eventually had a huge cross on her back with names and dates of dead relatives on it. This is so morbid. I constantly pray for good health in her family so no more get added and she doesn't need to get a second cross. She also has a dragonfly on her thigh, various butterflies, a couple of birds. Obviously she majored in zoology.

To me, that's all a bit distracting. Perhaps I got more used to them than I might have since they both started off with just a few and then gradually added them over the years. All of my previous ones were basically tat free.

Ok, all you tat lovers can now tell me how wrong I am."

realize this is a very generational thing, but as one of the old farts on the board, any more than a few smallish tats are distracting to me. A butterfly here or a flower there are fine but more gets a bit much.

A long time regular was fairly tat free when I started seeing her but after 5-6 years, she is pretty tatted up now. First it started with the name of her forever boyfriend, then she had to get a bigger tat to cover that one up when they broke up. Then tats for dead relatives so that she looks like a roadside memorial in spots. Then another forever boyfriend later covered up (wouldn't you think she would have learned after the first one?). Then a bird, then a butterfly. A big star with "Death Before Dishonor" on it. Probably a few more.

My other one who retired started off with only a couple but eventually had a huge cross on her back with names and dates of dead relatives on it. This is so morbid. I constantly pray for good health in her family so no more get added and she doesn't need to get a second cross. She also has a dragonfly on her thigh, various butterflies, a couple of birds. Obviously she majored in zoology.

To me, that's all a bit distracting. Perhaps I got more used to them than I might have since they both started off with just a few and then gradually added them over the years. All of my previous ones were basically tat free.

Ok, all you tat lovers can now tell me how wrong I am."
How true you guys are. Any visible tattoo is a big red flag for most of the general public that immediately judges the wearer as low life scum, correctly or not. Sorry girls, that is the way it is, like it or not.

I don't give a rat's ass if you like it, or don't like it, everyday you are judged and first impressions count. A visible tattoo says you are insulting the viewer you meet for the first time; it is not cool except to you.

But, I have people who work for me with tattoos and I understand the past baggage. During trial employment the tattoos were noticed, and the workers were warned. All are now dedicated and valued employees. But I have had to come down hard on all of them: no visible tattoos, not ever. Because, like it or not, you will be judged harshly and with it the company will also be judged harshly.

Even some restaurants have started to have the waitresses cover up, after documenting that they were loosing business. And restaurants are a different culture.

As you move up the social scale in life you don't have to drag your old baggage behind to let everyone see.

For me, the old skeleton in my closet is my time in the Marine Corps and most of the guys in the special units I was with got tattoos. Today, most of my "real world" friends have no idea that I was in the Corps, because I don't tell them, and I don't have the tattoo to show them. People think of me as a scientist only, because that is what they see.

The point: we all can change who we are and what we are in this life. Unless we advertise to others what we were, or always will be.

JR
I understand that maybe me having tattoos may have kept a handful of gentlemen from coming to see me, but I also know that a LOT of my clients are ink lovers and have plenty of tattoos themselves and have absolutely no problem with my ink.

Don't like ink? Don't see the girl....

But to think that just because someone has a tattoo means they have "baggage" is a very ignorant statement. And saying that their kids are embarrassed of them? That is pretty ignorant as well.

I have also never ever had a problem getting a job because of my tattoos and I have worked in management and real estate.
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Old 02-14-2014, 01:55 PM   #19
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Some interesting comments, and one good example...
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Old 02-14-2014, 01:59 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by i'va biggen View Post
"random tattoos not distracting"
since when are tattoos "random"?

arty, bizarre, cheaply done, incredibly done, symbolic, literal, etc.
but i'd never say they are random. someone chose to get it done.


that tattoo tells something about them [you might have to ask].
and sometimes it's ok, sometimes it's not.

like so many things, it all depends ...
on the tattoo, on the person, on where one sees that tattoo, etc.
just as one provider doesnt fit all, one tattoo guideline/impression doesnt fit all.



slight aside - on one project i worked on, the project manager had a strict policy - NO PHONES on during staff meetings and DEFINITELY NOT during meetings with customers. if a phone rang during a staff mtg, the owner had to bring refreshments and snacks to the next mtg. if a phone rang during a customer mtg, the owner was counseled by the project mgr. exceptions were made if anyone was expecting an important call.

now a days, it's damn rare to be in any kind of meeting [business or personal] where people are not checking their phones, tablets, computers.
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Old 02-14-2014, 02:07 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by Gemma34 View Post
.............I've raised my kids to not waste precious time worrying about what other people think of them......[B]And I sure dont give a rats ass if anyone likes me, especially based on some tattoos. [/B..
....
Now you understand the who point trying to understand that there are two sides of the street; but, you don't give a rat's ass about the other side of the street. Thus, you are condemned to always walk the street on you side only, never crossing to the other side.

I don't care if there are tattoos. They are a personal choice. I stated that I employee people with tattoos (including ladies). Until last month, one lady didn't like it but she kept the tattoos hidden. Then she understood when, in an off hand comment, when I happened to describe the situation as hypocrisy.

Hypocrisy exists. The very definition of the word says that our own behavior does not conform to the expectations of society. None of us are perfect, we all have faults and scars. If a scar is on your face, you would apply makeup and try to cover it up.
Hypocrisy is from the Latin/Greek Hupokrisis or 'acting the theatrical part', or to play a part, or pretend.

We all pretend to be what we are not, or can not be. There is nothing wrong with that. It is called putting your best foot forward. But we are taught that to pretend is wrong, as if everyone doesn't do it, including our so called leaders. Perhaps you don't believe that Obama is a liar, but that is another subject.

You, and many others, don't like it and you may want to sing the song:
"I Just Want to Be Me!"

I happen to agree, and expected this response.

I am not talking about you.
I am talking about society in a much larger view.
You don't have to like it.
Remove the personal emotion from the discussion and you will find:

What is - is.

JR
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Old 02-14-2014, 02:36 PM   #22
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I honestly don't much care if people like me. I may not like a lot of people yet I still respect them. I may not be liked but due to the fact that I do know how to conduct myself and adapt to the environment in which I'm in, I am still respected. I am intelligent, respectful, speak properly and have good manners.

And emotion was never part of this discussion until you brought up kids. That, itself, makes it personal to me now.

And my scars are a part of me, they also dont require covering up. And I disagree that 'we all pretend to be what we are not, or cannot be.' I thrive on my mistakes, flaws and imperfections. I can be and will be whatever I choose, no pretending. I dont want to be anybody but me. I know everything about myself. And the things i dont like about me will not be better just because i pretend they are.
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Old 02-14-2014, 02:48 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by Gemma34 View Post
I honestly don't much care if people like me. I may not like a lot of people yet I still respect them. I may not be liked but due to the fact that I do know how to conduct myself and adapt to the environment in which I'm in, I am still respected. I am intelligent, respectful, speak properly and have good manners.

And emotion was never part of this discussion until you brought up kids. That, itself, makes it personal to me now.

And my scars are a part of me, they also dont require covering up. And I disagree that 'we all pretend to be what we are not, or cannot be.' I thrive on my mistakes, flaws and imperfections. I can be and will be whatever I choose, no pretending. I dont want to be anybody but me. I know everything about myself. And the things i dont like about me will not be better just because i pretend they are.
You said it well Gemma..

JR...Now I WOULD be pretending to be something I am not if I chose NOT to get my tattoos because of what others would think. I don't care if people like them or not, and it doesn't bother me if you don't like them either.. everyone has their preferences and that is completely understandable. It just bothers me when you make clueless and ignorant statements to go along with your dislike.

To be quite honest, when you say these things about tattoos it makes me want to go out and get some more to make sure that I keep the *narrow minded* men away. There are some "trashy" people with tattoos. But there are also beautiful, well spoken, well mannered, and WELL RESPECTED women such as Gemma and myself who wear them like diamonds.

It may not be your cup of tea, but that's ok and I won't take offence to it because there are plenty of others who love the "tea" we have to offer.
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Old 02-14-2014, 04:22 PM   #24
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Default Do you like the attention you get?

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You said it well Gemma..

........ it doesn't bother me if you don't like them either........ to go along with your dislike.

.................

It may not be your cup of tea, .....
Where did I say what I liked or disliked? Read it again. I was careful to talk about how many in society view it.

You can like your tattoos, for whatever reason or no reason; your, and mine, likes and/or dislikes do not relate to my comments.

Stand by on the side of things and understand that in certain situations one would do themselves a favor to wear a long sleeve shirt to cover any tattoos one may have on the arms. The way to avoid the snubs is to fit in with others.

Sorry to inform the group about the plain facts; but, society can insist that we conform, even if the basis for conformity is ever changing. Insisting upon conformity is an affront to everyone. Furthermore, conformity to group identity is the basis for racism. As in: we hate everything and everyone who is different. We can bypass a discussion here of Nazi Party, KKK or civil rights here. But the basis for all of these problems is the intolerance for the differences in society.

But then, some people like to stand out and be different because they like the attention, any attention, good or bad.

I don't crave attention. My love is to stand on the side and see what is really happening. The organization and structure of the work is the result that brings later rewards.

The fallacy of reasoning is to assume that every single person will appreciate the differences that one may bring to society. The differences are not always appreciated, they may be resented.

JR
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Old 02-14-2014, 04:50 PM   #25
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I'm sure that Destiny loves the attention she gets. Especially when she is responding intelligently and respectfully to your comments. I see you only quoted parts of her sentences. Had you quoted her entire statement you would have read it correctly. She was speaking in regards to judgements from anyone. She only said she wasn't bothered if you didn't like her tattoos either.

And I imagine most people like to be different and stand out, but I seriously doubt everyone does it for attention.

An open minded person will appreciate others differences, originality, talents and opinions. I may not like other peoples styles or opinions and especially if they disagree with me but I am intrigued by it all. And knowing that at least they stood their ground and voiced their opinions says a lot about people.

I am just not sure how you still think that to fit in we must look a certain way. Our uniqueness and originality is what makes each of us who we are.

Style and fashion exist on uniqueness and being different, on being the latest and newest fashion.
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Old 02-14-2014, 05:46 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by JRLawrence View Post
Where did I say what I liked or disliked? Read it again. I was careful to talk about how many in society view it.

You can like your tattoos, for whatever reason or no reason; your, and mine, likes and/or dislikes do not relate to my comments.

Stand by on the side of things and understand that in certain situations one would do themselves a favor to wear a long sleeve shirt to cover any tattoos one may have on the arms. The way to avoid the snubs is to fit in with others.

Sorry to inform the group about the plain facts; but, society can insist that we conform, even if the basis for conformity is ever changing. Insisting upon conformity is an affront to everyone. Furthermore, conformity to group identity is the basis for racism. As in: we hate everything and everyone who is different. We can bypass a discussion here of Nazi Party, KKK or civil rights here. But the basis for all of these problems is the intolerance for the differences in society.

But then, some people like to stand out and be different because they like the attention, any attention, good or bad.

I don't crave attention. My love is to stand on the side and see what is really happening. The organization and structure of the work is the result that brings later rewards.

The fallacy of reasoning is to assume that every single person will appreciate the differences that one may bring to society. The differences are not always appreciated, they may be resented.

JR
Ok so I will just take you liking or disliking them out of the equation. I still disagree with you saying that the majority of society thinks that way. I think the majority of society is accepting. I'm not saying they necessarily LIKE them, but are accepting to whatever choices we make with our own body. Yes there are some people that hate them I'm sure, but like I said before... I have never had anybody insult me because of them, turn down a job because of them, or treat me any differently in any way. As a matter of fact I get complimented on them quite regularly.

I think society is much more accepting of them than you are thinking, and the reason I have this opinion is from experience/living with them on me every day (I have 6 of them and planning on more.) I also don't look at my tattoos as "scars" but more of art that I enjoy and wanted to keep with me.

I think you also said something about people wanting to fit/blend in, they get tattoos and then wonder why people don't like them. I don't think anybody "doesn't like me" because of my tattoos.. And I fit in my own unique spot and always will. But if I was too worried about what people thought of me I probably wouldn't be an escort, so maybe my opinion is different than the "average" tattooed female. lol

Thank you Gemma for understanding what I was trying to say.
And I must also say, it is nice to be able to have a friendly, civil difference of opinion on here without name calling/drama. So thank you JR for the friendly intriguing conversation
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Old 02-14-2014, 06:05 PM   #27
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I'm sure that Destiny loves the attention she gets. Especially when she is responding intelligently and respectfully to your comments. I see you only quoted parts of her sentences. Had you quoted her entire statement you would have read it correctly. She was speaking in regards to judgements from anyone. She only
said she wasn't bothered
if you didn't like her tattoos either.

And I imagine most people like to be different and stand out, but I seriously doubt everyone does it for attention.

An open minded person will appreciate others differences, originality, talents and opinions. I may not like other peoples styles or opinions and especially if they disagree with me but I am intrigued by it all. And knowing that at least they stood their ground and voiced their opinions says a lot about people.

I am just not sure how you still think that to fit in we must look a certain way. Our uniqueness and originality is what makes each of us who we are.

Style and fashion exist on uniqueness and being different, on being the latest and newest fashion.

I agree that this is the world should be!

I also agree that the world is changing to recognize the differences.

If you think we live in a perfect world, where everyone loves the difference between people, you are not old enough to have seen the world.

I am saying that your idea would be great, if it always existed. I am also saying to stay out of the way of those who do not agree with you. There is not enough shelter to protect you when things are not as you would ideally like them to be.

We have come a long way since WWII and the 1950, but if you think that everyone will like you when you insist on standout in the crowd you could be in for a rude awakening.
Wow, I had to go back and explain this - again. Nazi & the different than them Jews. Colored people in the US in the 40's to 70's - times were different because they were different, and immediately identified as different if only because of the color of their skin. The Japanese and the racial hatred toward China. I can go on an on. There is a book out there I read 40 years ago call "Madness of Crowds" it, or books like it are bound to still be around. The vast attitude during the period of time was if anyone was different, it was bad. This attitude had a lot to do with WWII



What I am trying to say can best be illustrated by an observation made by Marilyn Monroe who elected to walk several blocks in New York City to another theater. Her friends said that she would be recognized and have a problem. She believed that no one would recognize her because she would just fit in with the crowd, and there would be no trouble.

When she stepped outside the door she did not strut, or glow; her head when down and she fit in with the crowd perfectly.

My point is: life is many times like acting. Stand out when you want to, and blend in when you need to. But most important, know in your own mind the difference.

Think from both the left and the right sides of your brain about this.

I have nothing against tattoos; there is a time an a place for everything.

You don't wear a red dress to a funeral; no matter what you want to do, or think about it - you just don't.

JR
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Old 02-14-2014, 06:17 PM   #28
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It would be a pretty boring life to only do things that society as a whole approved of.
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Old 02-14-2014, 06:22 PM   #29
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I love tats and cant wait to see yours Destiny.
Gemma the one of yours i really love is the cobra leg tat that is freaking cool
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Old 02-14-2014, 06:29 PM   #30
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You do make a couple of good points in your above statement, with the exception of you thinking I'm oblivious of the fact that we do not live in a perfect world. I've had a pretty rough life and have experienced a lot thus far. But it has made me the strong opinionated woman that I am today.

And Marilyn Monroes ability to be herself was why she was loved by so many. And of course she couldn't walk down a street unnoticed and fit in. She was an idol, a star... That's a different scenario than those of us with tattoos fitting in. Its such a common thing these days.

And as Destiny mentioned, it was nice to have a civil disagreement lol. Even for me, you gotta admit, it was pretty civil LOL.
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