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Nina Rae · 08-16-2010, 01:51 PM

Gents: do you prefer to talk with a lady about fetishes and things you'd specifically like on your dates?

Ladies: do most gents bring this up before-hand? Or is it something they spring on you after they arrive? Do you prefer a heads up?

I ask because I had a date last week who wanted to...well...he was sort of into this odd passive aggressive way of demeaning. It wasn't anything heavy, just barely there. He didn't mention it (and neither did the lady who referred him to me, lol). But our first call was very sweet and mutually respectful. Later, after a second call and a meeting, he became sort of rude and made many comments slighting my, ahem, services. Though he was all hot and bothered during the festivities, and even started calling on more than his creator at times, he started to tell me how this and that weren't good enough once I was done. He stood over me and talked while he had me sit in a chair. It seemed very much like...an authority figure would do when punishing a child or subordinate.

I just thought he had an a-hole syndrome that came and went. He'd gotten pretty rude, and then asked if I could see him same time next week! All I could think was "no freaking way"! But once he was ready to leave, he got really sweet again and slipped me a $ as a thank you (slid it right into my cleavage!). It was nuts. I was so pissed I told him I wasn't interested, tip or no. It was after he left that I figured out his deal. Ha! If he would have mentioned it before the date, I would have been happy to accommodate and would have played along well. But because he just seemed like an everyday dick, I wasn't going to entertain that crap. Who knew?

Should he have talked about it during the planning stage? Could it have been nerves keeping him from bringing it up? Does that affect any of you?

swpaul · 08-16-2010, 03:12 PM

I like to make any requests before the booking if I am able, but some ladies do not talk about certain things until after they have met you.

Guest052115-1 · 08-16-2010, 03:16 PM

If there is something specific I am looking for I will bring it up before any activities start.

LAVixian · 08-16-2010, 03:17 PM

It depends mainly on the people involved I suppose. Most people don't ask me about this type of thing in the beginning, I also state on my site that I won't answer anything requarding sex, sexual innuendo's, etc.. after the first date, i let em make requests, just can't guarantee that i'll honor em lol

golfdude40 · 08-16-2010, 05:33 PM

Good questions. I'm rather new to the hobby, but I believe open discussion about expectations, limitations, and such is the best policy. Why play the guessing game when an understanding can be reached easily with a lil open discussion before hand. Seems to me that both can walk away happier that way.

DallasRain · 08-16-2010, 06:13 PM

good question babe!!

Most guys have read my "reviews" and know what to expect{lol}...but I agree that if you are looking for something "special",it should be discussed to a degree after you have verified the potential client

pornodave69 · 08-16-2010, 07:04 PM

Sounds like he's just a dick. If being condescending, demeaning and rude and lecturing you on how bad you were is a fetish of his I'd want to know up front. If you think you'd want to see him again, ask him if that's his fetish. If not, he's a dick and don't see him again.

Outdoorsman · 08-16-2010, 08:29 PM

I have never requested anything out of the ordinary, YET. I like seeing ladies in certain outfits I see on their website and yes I request the outfit before hand. I have never done any role play at all. I guess that could be fun, idk, never really thought of it. I am certainly not into demeaning or being demeaned, not judging anyone either, just not my thing.

Lately I like mirrors. I enjoy watching the woman BBBJ on me, I look in mirror or K9 while watching in mirror. That is about as fetish as I get I guess. No need to preplan a mirror though, either the room has one or not. But the mirror thing is not that important to me.

I am looking forward to trying some positions I have never tried before, I am sure it is things you all have done, but I am usually a Mish or K9 kinda guy. CG is nice, but again no need to preplan any of that.

I guess if I was looking for something special I would request it up front and only after I had already seen the lady and felt comfortable with her.

DallasRain · 08-16-2010, 08:52 PM

mirrors enhance ANY encounter!!!!!

GingerMcNaughty · 08-16-2010, 10:19 PM

Fetish/BDSM/Other 90% of the time does not involve sex so I like to have a heads up on such things; do I need toys? rope? full bladder? extra spiky heels?

naughtynatale · 08-16-2010, 10:53 PM

I guess before hand is good. I would rather (as in this instance) have seen him first and then we could discuss it maybe. I am not comfortable putting such things in writing or over the phone. But if it were he wanted stocking and a man's white oxford shirt with heels then I wouldn't have a problem with that. But if someone had treated me that way on the first time or without a notice I would probably feel the same way as you, Nina.

Nicolet · 08-17-2010, 12:53 AM

There is no way I would tolerate disrespect, no matter generous the tip. That would have been hard for me to, er.... swallow! I guess I am too thin skinned for that kind of role play. Your a better woman than I to take that for as long as you did.

LAVixian · 08-17-2010, 05:40 AM

Outdoorsman, if you're sweet... me and dallas just right role play with ya

Outdoorsman · 08-17-2010, 08:42 AM

I am nothing but sweet, kind, and a true gentleman and with temptations like that I am going to have to make my way up to the Hammond area soon.

I am an old dawg but I am still willing to learn new tricks.

Nina Rae · 08-17-2010, 08:42 AM

I agree with what you have all said. You'd think he would have checked out my P411 page to see what I'm ok with. I talked to the lady who referred him to me and she said he can sometimes get off that way. Uh, hello! Why not give a girl a heads up on that?!?!?

Quote:

Originally Posted by pornodave69

Sounds like he's just a dick. If being condescending, demeaning and rude and lecturing you on how bad you were is a fetish of his I'd want to know up front. If you think you'd want to see him again, ask him if that's his fetish. If not, he's a dick and don't see him again.

Yes, Dave...apparently that was his thing. And no, as I explained to him already, I am NOT willing to see him again. I don't provide for tips, so that was of no consequence. I do it for fun and for the specific rate discussed. Don't try and tip me later for doing something without permission. Snarky bastard. After he'd told me I could be better, he asked to see me again! That's how I knew something was up...way up. Why see someone again you think could be better? He sent me an email this morning telling me how great I was and how much fun he had. Uh uh. Nope. Not interested.

I can be into fetish as much as the next girl...but a little heads up, if you please.