Shoot, no need to ask for a forum...I'll do a mini review of myself right here.
Date: The 12th of Never
Hobbyist: Tony Patella
Phone: N/A 
Email Address: 
mrwunderful@gmail.com
URL / Website: 
www.imtheworldsgreatestlover.com
City: Rainbow City
State: Texas 
Address: Somewhere Along the DNT
Appointment Type: Boring.  Oops, I mean...Incall 
Did the Appointment take place at the agreed-upon time?: Yes 
Activities: Silly A** Grinning, Drooling, Inept groping, Clumsy Fondling, Moronic Musings, Total Cluelessness  BCD
Session Length:  seemed Like an Eternity, but I guess it was 1 hour 
Fee: No amount of $$ covers it
Hair Length and Color: Salt and pepper gray, but at least I still have some. 
Age: Less than 100, but more than 98
Smoking Status:  Beef Ribs in my smoker...they should be 'bout done by now!
Ethnic Background: White/Caucasian with Liver Spots
Physical Description:  5' 8" short, dumpy, hair everywhere, hung like a fly (and proud of it), Dunlops Disease, Plumbers Crack, flatulent, and nerdy as hell.
The Rest of the Story: Not much to tell.  Showed up, and before we "got comfortable" he started gruntin' and a groanin', noticed a tent in his pants that deflated right away.  He offered to do the dishes for me, take out the trash and clean up after the cat and dog.  All in all, including the services mentioned, he was in and out in 15 minutes.
Recommendation: Hmmm....NO