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April Showers · 07-09-2010, 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ttexpatriate

That was a great response April. I have always thought that too, but I am often confused by what other hobbiests think.

The hardest thing in this thread to communicate is the fact that sex has emotion, connection, and caring for the other person; and pay for play does not.

I do believe that P4P can have emotion, caring, and connection as long as it has realistic boundaries. When I have a good connection with a client I care about him, feel for him when he is troubled and happy for him when all is going well.

What P4P does not have that a RL relationship does have is the trouble and strife that partners face together and overcome, nor does it have the milestones that two people building a life together create.

Quote:

Originally Posted by windowshopper

I would have never guess that there is break time when you go home to SO. I would fall in the category, well you did it without me so why not when you come home. Otherwise, what is the point in coming home if you cant get it?

If your wife was a waitress would you still want her to come home and wait on you? Or would you let her come home and put her feet up while you brought her something to drink? If the former is the case, why should she go home?

Quote:

Originally Posted by windowshopper

For you gals that have SO and do go home, you must do an awesome job of keeping his ego where it is. Guys are curious just as girls are but more so open. We want to know if we are the best, better than last guy, etc.... Thanks and keep doing what you do as long as ur happy.

It's not about ego, it's about security. He doesn't need to know he's the best or better then the last guy, because he knows where my heart is.

Quote:

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Shouldn't this also be the rule for BCD with a client?? I hate it when I'm BCD and the lady's attention is on the phone or the next client or checking her email.

Yes it should CS. When BCD with a client it's a standard rule for me. I never answer my phone or check my emails. At home though it's another story. My SO does not always get the same consideration. My home is my office and my work day is from 9am to 10pm. I have to answer my phone when my SO and I are sitting watching a movie, I have to spend time on the computer answering emails,I have to go out and do "field work" If I don't do those things, I don't get work. So to create a balance I set time aside just for him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gryphon

The ladies who have posted here are very fortunate to have SO's who are so accommodating to their profession. In my relatively short experience providers have difficulty mixing providing with an open and honest relationship; some just don't have an SO, others have and SO who is unaware of their activities.

So for those providers who are in an honest relationship with someone who accepts (and maybe is turned on by) their seeing clients, I suggest giving that person some extra-special attention. Such people are rare and should be appreciated.

Thanks Gryphon!

Tiffany Cums · 07-09-2010, 10:07 AM

What April and Dallas both describe closely resembles my own realationship with my SO. I think that there are a lot of people that can not grasp the concept because it is outside the realm of traditional thinking.

During one date, a gentleman asked me if I was married....when I replied honestly, he seemed alarmed by it...the more I attempted to explain it to him, the more alarmed he became.

It is not our fault if our love, openess, respect, and honesty with our life partners is beyound someones grasp!

DallasRain · 07-09-2010, 10:32 AM

well said Tiffany
{quote}

"It is not our fault if our love, openess, respect, and honesty with our life partners is beyound someones grasp!"
{unquoted}

they one key element is LOVE

SlowHand49 · 07-09-2010, 11:43 AM

Perhaps rather than alarm it was envy . . .

charlestudor2005 · 07-09-2010, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiffany Cums

What April and Dallas both describe closely resembles my own realationship with my SO. I think that there are a lot of people that can not grasp the concept because it is outside the realm of traditional thinking.

During one date, a gentleman asked me if I was married....when I replied honestly, he seemed alarmed by it...the more I attempted to explain it to him, the more alarmed he became.

It is not our fault if our love, openess, respect, and honesty with our life partners is beyound someones grasp!

+1

My POV: just because someone is a provider doesn't vitiate the need to have an ongoing romantic relationship and a family. As human beings we need these kinds of connections.

Tiffany has said it better than I ever could. And shame on that client for not realizing this. His view of providers must be one dimensional instead of the three- (or multi-) dimensional people they are in RL.

charlestudor2005 · 07-09-2010, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlowHand49

Perhaps rather than alarm it was envy . . .

Nope. Tiff is pretty perceptive. I wouldn't bet against her on this issue.

pyramider · 07-09-2010, 02:26 PM

The grim reality is that the SO is forgotten and gets minimal attention.

Tiffany Cums · 07-09-2010, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pyramider

The grim reality is that the SO is forgotten and gets minimal attention.

Perhaps in some realationships....I know my SO and I get involved sexually often...just this morning we both laid on the bed masterbating as we discussed a new couple we had met but have yet to defile.

Saturday night we are signed up for a swingers club....we have a local hotel room reserved.

A far cry from forgetting about 'him' and 'us'....from the other two ladies replies it does not sound as though their SOs are forgotten about either!

Grizzly · 07-09-2010, 03:19 PM

Thank you for being open and honest. I had dated a exotic dancer for about 3 yrs and the hard part I had to learn to get over was jealousy. I wanted her for myself even though I knew she was going to come home to me there was days I wasnt sure. Unfortunately it did not work out for us and I am now back to hobby and have some fun.

To the ladies that responded, I just want to thank you for taking the time away from your SOs and families to do what you do best. We appreciate it.

On the other side of the coin, in my opinion a provider having a significant other is no different from a hobbysit having a significant other and for whatever reason decides to play the field so to speak. I may be young and wet behind the ears but I have been around the block a few times.

oenghus

DallasRain · 07-09-2010, 03:29 PM

quote---On the other side of the coin, in my opinion a provider having a significant other is no different from a hobbysit having a significant other and for whatever reason decides to play the field so to speak. I may be young and wet behind the ears but I have been around the block a few times.

AMEN!!!!!

badhusband · 07-09-2010, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by April Showers

To be honest I was hesitant about answering the thread because so many guys say "oh I don't want to know if she has an SO, it ruins the fantasy" but I said what the hell he asked and the experiences I share with my SO are part of what makes me such a great GFE provider.

It's not like I lay there in the afterglow and rattle on about him. Most times the only reason a client even knows is because he asks if I have an SO right after he asks if I have kids.

This particular train of thought (guys not wanting to know about SO) has always struck me as kind of skewed (for lack of a better word). I mean you ALREADY KNOW that we are providers which means that you ALREADY KNOW we meet with however many men, how does knowing about an SO make a difference?

Just the mere fact that I'm with someone elses girl has the kink that excites me! The rest of my fantasy is that she is doing it more for the pleasure than the compensation part of it.

Mr. Heffner · 07-09-2010, 08:10 PM

So I guess you feel that these gals shuold have sex with multiple men and then go home and not let it effect them whatso-ever. Are you serious? Get a clue. Let these gals do what is right for THEM and stop badgering them! Heff

urhuckleberry · 07-10-2010, 06:57 AM

I guess I missed the badgering, except for one comment that everyone has rightfully chosen to ignore... I did see some honest and inspiring stories from the wonderful ladies who make this hobby possible...

But that's just me.

H

binary13 · 07-10-2010, 08:20 AM

Very well said

essence · 07-10-2010, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by petiteassman

and ladies thank you for sharing your heart soul and bodies with us

bodies, friendship, affectation, laughter, sadness, maybe.

heart? Soul? Kids? Families? Aspirations and dreams? Careers? BBFS? Caring when sick? Sharing riches and poverty?

I don't think so.

As for me, I prefer to go with girls who at least give every indication they are serial monogamists, even though there may be another guy next week (but not next hour).