Let's keep it funny

[SofaKingFun]

A severely obese man, upon the advise of his physician, goes into a quick weight loss center.

"First time?" asks the receptionist. "We'll start you out on the 10 pound program."

She takes him into a room and departs, locking the door behind her.

In the middle of the room is a nude woman with a sign on her:
"IF YOU CATCH ME YOU CAN FUCK ME"

He chases the attractive woman around the room for an hour or so until catching her and doesn't come out for another hour or so.

When he finally gets home and weighs himself, he's lost twelve pounds.

Needless to say, he loves this place.

He returns the next day with his fifty bucks handy.

"I'll try the 20 pound program today."

She takes him to another room and locks him in just as before.

In the middle of the room is a 400 pound gorilla with a sign on him:
"IF I CATCH YOU I GET TO FUCK YOU."

[Guest041611]

At the finals of the National Poetry Competition the two finalist were an
unlikely pair. Finalist number one was a Harvard educated professor of
literature and the winner of several previous competitions. Finalist number two
was a young Marine Lcpl. from the hills of West Virginia who needed help filling
out the entry form.
The final round consisted of each competitor being given the same word and
having thirty seconds to complete a verse, using the word.
The Professor went first. The Judge said, " The final word this year is
'Timbuktu'" The Prof. started thinking. Ten seconds went by. Twenty seconds.
The crowd became nervous. After twenty eight seconds the Prof. began,
"Across the hot Sahara sand,
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two,
Destination- Timbuktu."
The crowd went wild, there was no way that the Hillbilly Marine would ever top
that.
The Lcpl. was brought on stage. The judge gave the word, "Timbuktu."
The young Lcpl. looked to the sky, he thought for 10-15 seconds, stepped up to
the microphone, cleared his throat, and began,
"Tim 'en me, a-hunting went,
Met three girls in a pop-up-tent,
They was three and we was two,
So, I bucked one and Tim Buck Two!"

[VictoriaLyn]

Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'
Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'
Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'
Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'
Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".

[VictoriaLyn]

Have you ever wondered if your dollar bills were once in a strippers underwear?

[WyldemanATX]

That is nasty!

[VictoriaLyn]

Originally Posted by Wyldeman30

That is nasty!

I see your point I was just picturing more like

[WyldemanATX]

Yes before putting a dollar bill in your mouth you never know where it has been!

[WyldemanATX]

I don't like those assholes that make it rain at the SC!

[VictoriaLyn]

Whats make it rain??

[WyldemanATX]

It is when they take a stack of dollars and throw them in the air.

[VictoriaLyn]

like 52 pick up?

[WyldemanATX]

Yes they think they look like high rollers or rap stars.

[VictoriaLyn]

Oh those guys.... I tend to keep my back to those types at a club I wonder if they knew how silly they look

[saj1000]

Yo..say, Yo!...don't diss dose dudes! Dems is some wack mofos. Cool as dat, drops dat green on da bar Hos. Gots to give dem da props...

I hate them too...punk wannabes. Maybe they could do a mastercard commercial;

......dropping 4 hours salary from mowing lawns on the strip club stage...PRICELESS!

[MarleyMonroe]

Lmso @ saj ... Hey, at least they are spending $ and not just sitting in a corner nursing a beer & never getting a dance. Strippers hate those guys.