Quote:
Originally Posted by Starrluvsyou
There are two sides to every story. I asked him for references and info in the beginning and he declined to answer and I told him I would need a deposit without recent references because that keeps me safe as far as law enforcement goes. He was upset after I told him I felt more comfortable with a recent reference.
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So which is it, he didn't give you references or they were old references?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Starrluvsyou
I am usually very strict in my screening process but I was willing to take a chance. He then says he has a reference but doesn’t have her link. So I have to go in and search and figure out who “ann” is because that’s all the information he can provide.
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Well it's not like we get a full BIO when we meet up. I myself can't remember many of the providers I've visited, and I doubt they remember me either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Starrluvsyou
Which is frustrating to begin with because I asked for references in the first place and he acted like he didn’t have any. Again I don’t just use a phone number for screening. I also asked for him to message me on a secure board which he didn’t. I spent hours back and forth with this gentleman trying to verify him and help him out because he is a “newbie” but now looking at his profile he has been around for 10 years?
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So you justify keeping the deposit because you spent HOURS researching on Eccie? Color me skeptical. Why after getting a deposit did you THEN decide to do some research? I thought you were protected when you got the deposit?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Starrluvsyou
But can’t provide any references. That would have been a red flag to begin with but of course I didn’t know his handle because he didn’t send a message like I asked. After he told me I just needed to see him without verifying him and was rude to me and basically cussed me I felt uncomfortable and declined to see him.
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Before or after you got the deposit? Because if it's after, you shouldn't have any trouble seeing him... THATS ACCORDING TO YOU.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Starrluvsyou
I will not put my safety on the line for anyone.
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Nobody asked you to. In fact you asked for a deposit to keep yourself safe. Then you decided to research and then decided your fee for the research afterwards.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Starrluvsyou
I kept the deposit because I felt like my time dealing with him and spending hours texting etc was worth that.
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Did you explain that the fee was for research? Or did you say it proved that he wasn't a cop and that he was serious about meeting? Because if you didn't tell him that the fee was non-refundadable because you were gonna spend hours researching him.... then that is again your fault.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Starrluvsyou
The hours I spent communicating with him I could have seen an actual verified hobbyist.
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That's nobodies fault but your own. YOU violated your own supposed policies.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Starrluvsyou
I think I have a right to that and if he wouldn’t have gone off on me I would have met with this client.
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Of course you think you deserve his money... but what did you do to actually earn it? You surfed the internet? Really? you claimed it was so he would prove he wasn't LEO. Then you changed what the $ was for.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Starrluvsyou
I think we both learned a lesson and I will no longer be dealing with anyone who cannot follow directions and who declines to provide references.
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Oh, you mean you will follow you own policies? And I guess he learned why you never give a provider money up front. Because they will run off with it. Sure they will have a reason, but it is unrelated to why the guy actually gave you the money.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Starrluvsyou
I was in no way trying to scam anyone if I were I would have kept the deposit and cut off all communication with him, instead of dealing with him for literally hours...and most clients know I don’t ask for deposit up front but in this case I’m glad I did because of what I had to deal with and what I’m currently dealing with. I have to right to refuse service and the right to run my business as I please. I am a well verified, well reviewed provider, and this guy is obviously a liar and a ten year “newbie”. That’s all I’m going to say.
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You've said quite a bit. Hopefully everyone will be able to draw their own conclusions about giving you any money up front or any business at all.
Your business is your business to run. As a reasonable bystander, I'd just say your story doesn't add up. And you have no receipts.
