Welcome to ECCIE - Sign up today!

Risn2TheOccasion · 01-28-2017, 03:29 PM

I have been doing the hobby for over 10 years. I can't say it has been all bad. The reason I started this was to have a mutually beneficial arrangement after several failed relationships.

I now find myself at a point to where I no longer receive any fulfillment from the hobby. In fact, each time I leave, I feel empty, depressed and hollow inside. Whatever I was looking for, I have missed. I am to the point to where I feel I have lost my soul and feel my life has no worth anymore.

I won't say how much I have spent in the hobby this month alone, but it is in the 4 figures. I have been ripped off. I have been taken advantage of. And, I have had wonderful experiences.

I hope all of you find what you are looking for. Just don't let this hobby consume you. It can be painful.

Whispers · 01-28-2017, 03:52 PM

It's not an uncommon feeling sir... Enjoy life man... Stay safe...

Tatonka · 01-28-2017, 03:57 PM

Sometimes it is just best to step away.

Best of luck to you.

Guest121917-1 · 01-28-2017, 05:49 PM

The best of luck to you

Dev Null · 01-28-2017, 07:03 PM

Forget about the hobby for a moment. It's not everything - it's just a part of our lives. But when you say that you feel that your life has no worth anymore, that sounds like clinical depression.

I don't know what that means to you, but I've been down a similar path. I've found that it can take a really long time to find a good therapist that is on the same wavelength, and the sooner you get started looking, the better.

It may take a long time to find the road up from down, but it's no disgrace to ask for help.

I'll PM you. I'm not qualified to help you, but I can maybe be a friend who's been in a similar place. If anyone else feels in a similar place, feel free to PM me too.

FirePhoenix · 01-28-2017, 08:07 PM

I have heard of similar stories from people in and out of the hobby. One of my long time make friends had the same issue and we had arguments over it for a long time. I always said to go back to what sex made special for you. Was it the trill of the relationship? Experiencing the first kiss? The chase of a woman? For me, I've never lost the enjoyment of sex. Hell, I love to create new techniques,positions, and sensations in sex. Sex is only as limited as you make it to be. Truly I wish the best to you.xoxo

Loxly · 01-29-2017, 12:17 PM

"The reason I started this was to have a mutually beneficial arrangement after several failed relationships."

That might also be why some of the women are here as well!

Plus the money isn't all that bad.

If you've been "screwed over" a few times then welcome to the club. And if you've had episodes where you've lost interest you're not alone.

I think the "resurrection" you need doesn't come from Viagra but having a life outside of the hobby. This really isn't the place to find a LTR.

Texas_Rally_Champ · 01-29-2017, 04:33 PM

I wonder the same thing for myself.

justaphase · 01-30-2017, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loxly

This really isn't the place to find a LTR.

I really hope this is not true. I am more quality over quantity, choosing to work on crafting relationships with just a few women, instead of trying to see how many notches I can add to my belt. I am hoping to remain friends with these ladies even after the inevitable time when this phase of my life ends. Call it a LTF, instead of a LTR.

russellevans · 01-30-2017, 11:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justaphase

I really hope this is not true. I am more quality over quantity, choosing to work on crafting relationships with just a few women, instead of trying to see how many notches I can add to my belt. I am hoping to remain friends with these ladies even after the inevitable time when this phase of my life ends. Call it a LTF, instead of a LTR.

Yup! I'm just here for the long term friendships too.

Frissionary · 01-31-2017, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justaphase

I am hoping to remain friends with these ladies even after the inevitable time when this phase of my life ends.

That's fine if it happens and both parties are cool with it, but I certainly wouldn't go in expecting it. If you're looking for friends, try meetup.

Ollie Pop · 01-31-2017, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dev Null

Forget about the hobby for a moment. It's not everything - it's just a part of our lives. But when you say that you feel that your life has no worth anymore, that sounds like clinical depression.

I don't know what that means to you, but I've been down a similar path. I've found that it can take a really long time to find a good therapist that is on the same wavelength, and the sooner you get started looking, the better.

It may take a long time to find the road up from down, but it's no disgrace to ask for help.

I'll PM you. I'm not qualified to help you, but I can maybe be a friend who's been in a similar place. If anyone else feels in a similar place, feel free to PM me too.

Now this is how a community reaches out. Kudos Dev

Passion2015 · 01-31-2017, 02:31 PM

Totally understand. I know a few hobbyist that have cut way down on this hobby because of the service. Including me. I saw one lady this month and didn't really care to see additional ladies.

Talk about saving money for a New years resolution

Parsifal · 02-02-2017, 08:48 AM

Take a break, reassess how you feel in a month or two and go from there. You didn't get to this point overnight, so it stands to reason you won't move out of this funk overnight, either.

One thing's for sure...if you are looking for anything other than physical gratification with the hobby, you will end up feeling bereft. The girls are here to make money, after all the smoke clears away; whether they realize it at first or come to the realization later, this is a business for them.

You cannot assume any emotional connectivity to someone who is likely half your age and being paid to spend time with you...to do so would be very dangerous emotionally.

Step away...rely on your RW relationships for emotional strength and support. The hobby should be complementary to your life and nothing else...the RW comes 1st and the moment this hobby becomes a negative, step away.

I wish you well...

Loxly · 02-02-2017, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justaphase

I really hope this is not true. I am more quality over quantity, choosing to work on crafting relationships with just a few women, instead of trying to see how many notches I can add to my belt. I am hoping to remain friends with these ladies even after the inevitable time when this phase of my life ends. Call it a LTF, instead of a LTR.

True. I have those but there's no BCD. Some in Ohio and Baltimore. BD cards and all. Dinner and a show when I visit.