~DO YOU FEEL IT~?

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by klovve

Now, now...Toyz: has your mother never educated you on where and when to stuff that Fred Flinstone foot into your nonsense producing pie hole? "Old Hoogar makeover program" - first, what the fuck is a hoogar? It's sounds like booger. Second, who elected you chair of the cosmetology-cleanup committee?

Salmon: folks, this is Texas. I wasn't aware we had a run in the Lonestar state. Or maybe my language is antiquated, where the hell is my Urban Dictionary...

KLOVE!!!

How are you, you sexy older type hoogar you!

(Welcome back)

Its a sideline of mine...not an elected position. I own the company and provide various services for both hoogars and mongers alike. We are the K-Tel of prostitutional products!

Ill send you a catalog...u still downtown with that river view?

[greekfreak]

Boo

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by greekfreak

older? Darling I never.

Whoops...

Gotta remember to switch back to your hoogar account before posting...

(Shhhh...I wont tell).

[Leah Layada]

Shhh Kelli! He's "mansplaining" the finer points of how to be a hooker and doesn't need any actual sex workers disturbing him.

Originally Posted by klovve

Now, now...Toyz: has your mother never educated you on where and when to stuff that Fred Flinstone foot into your nonsense producing pie hole? "Old Hoogar makeover program" - first, what the fuck is a hoogar? It's sounds like booger. Second, who elected you chair of the cosmetology-cleanup committee?

Salmon: folks, this is Texas. I wasn't aware we had a run in the Lonestar state. Or maybe my language is antiquated, where the hell is my Urban Dictionary...

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by Leah Layada

Shhh Kelli! He's "mansplaining" the finer points of how to be a hooker and doesn't need any actual sex workers disturbing him.

Klove has had technical difficulties and will be MIA for a few minutes until she remembers how to negotiate from her Mandle back to her Hoogar account.

We will play elevator music until she returns...your patience is appreciated.

[submarineracer]

Originally Posted by Toyz

Shhh... don't tell anyone about my verified provider account, it would make me look really bad.

Your secret is safe... ish.

[JadeRose]

[Leah Layada]

Awww...thanks for the compliment on my posts and for your open support of the very first ever MAISF provider.

Originally Posted by JohnnyYanks

Probably not.

Your posts in this thread, and some others I've read, would bring me to your door, sight unseen (never done a matron before — hmmm).

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by JadeRose

Jade come on...you know my tongue is so firmy embedded in my cheek that its painful...


Back on topic:


Anyone have any major Salmon landings they can share?

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Toyz

Isnt that the price of being a jaded hoogar? Seriously?

Random cheese encrusted cawk you have to bring to climax cause that's how you earn your rent money?

Price? Aren't they always busy trying to convince us how much they love their jobs? And they only do this because they can't think of anything that can do that is more enjoyable?

[Austin Ellen]

Well, I'm an old hoogar and I'm having a blast. The porn industry came calling. They told me older women are in right now. Also,the porn magazines came calling. Same thing. I declined both offers because I'm not flying to Florida,which is where they shoot. In fact,Im not flying or going to an airport at all in the near future.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Austin Ellen

Well, I'm an old hoogar and I'm having a blast. The porn industry came calling. They told me older women are in right now. Also,the porn magazines came calling. Same thing. I declined both offers because I'm not flying to Florida,which is where they shoot. In fact,Im not flying or going to an airport at all in the near future.

It's always sad seeing somebody elderly the gives in to the fear driven into them by media exploitation. My mother's at that age now where she's dealing with the same type of fears as well as dementia.

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by Austin Ellen

Well, I'm an old hoogar and I'm having a blast. The porn industry came calling. They told me older women are in right now. Also,the porn magazines came calling. Same thing. I declined both offers because I'm not flying to Florida,which is where they shoot. In fact,Im not flying or going to an airport at all in the near future.

AE good for you!

(You realize I'm just pushing buttons cause its tooo easy right)?

What do they call it though, Granny Porn?

Are there toothless BJ's for real?
Has anyone ever gotten the poligrip confused with the lube? Can you imagine the chaos?

[JadeRose]

Originally Posted by Austin Ellen

Well, I'm an old hoogar and I'm having a blast. The porn industry came calling. They told me older women are in right now. Also,the porn magazines came calling. Same thing. I declined both offers because I'm not flying to Florida,which is where they shoot. In fact,Im not flying or going to an airport at all in the near future.

Psst... I hear they like us cute plumpers too! Hustler told me BBWS, grannies, milfs & trannies are becoming just as popular to shoot as their teen & anal series. I'll be durned... there's room at the inn (no pun intended) for all of us types. Congrats!

[Toyz]

Whos the "they" that are feeding you these lies? The ones that want to shoot the vids?