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08-08-2014, 07:55 AM
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#1
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Gaining Momentum
Join Date: Jul 9, 2014
Location: Gladstone
Posts: 74
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The Pedometer For Your Penis
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08-08-2014, 09:11 AM
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#2
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 54993
Join Date: Nov 16, 2010
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 2,989
My ECCIE Reviews
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Okay, the first question that I have is how on earth they can hope to evaluate "performance"? Is this thing going to try and encourage men to "fuck like a porn" star, by lighting up the faster he goes? How will it quantify what performance is? There is alot of merit in a nice, slow, comfortable screw after all!
According to the article, this is just a prototype, and we are going to have to wait until product testing is complete.
So, my second question is - where do I sign up to offer my assistance in testing this baby out? Being the caring, selfless, individual that I am, I feel that I must, in good conscience, make a guinea pig of myself in the interest of science. *sigh* I'm sure its a dirty job, but someone has to do it.
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08-08-2014, 09:16 AM
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#3
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Oct 25, 2010
Location: Candyland
Posts: 1,521
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Maybe, we need a smart buttplug, too. It could measure length of use, width of gape, and maybe even call somebody too! 
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08-08-2014, 09:23 AM
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#4
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 54993
Join Date: Nov 16, 2010
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 2,989
My ECCIE Reviews
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smoking Monkey
Maybe, we need a smart buttplug, too. It could measure length of use, width of gape, and maybe even call somebody too! |
Put a microphone in it too! That way when someone tells you that you are just talking out your ass, you can smile and proudly say "Why yes! Yes I am!" 
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08-08-2014, 09:25 AM
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#5
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Gaining Momentum
Join Date: Jul 9, 2014
Location: Gladstone
Posts: 74
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Honestly, I'm pretty sure I don't want that wrapped around my cock.. simple device on or around the waist can do the same calculation.. HA..
Now, more interesting thought, how about one for a blow job..
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| 1 user liked this post |
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08-08-2014, 11:44 AM
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#6
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Feb 11, 2011
Location: Turn left at the banjo music.
Posts: 2,141
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It needs an odometer to count strokes.
1....2..... ........ ......... 
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08-08-2014, 11:51 AM
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#7
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 54993
Join Date: Nov 16, 2010
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 2,989
My ECCIE Reviews
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This takes "Yeah, there's an app for that" to a whole new level!
Maybe I should use my not inconsiderable experience and wisdom to come up with an app that will tell women when to speed up, slow down, go deeper, use more spit, when to switch to hand and back to oral, etc. to improve their oral skills.
Hmmm, I see an entire market in the sex tips app trade....
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08-08-2014, 11:53 AM
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#8
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Valued Poster
Join Date: Apr 22, 2009
Location: Somewhere East
Posts: 4,400
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We travel far.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zeejoe
It needs an odometer to count strokes.
1....2..... ........ ......... |
8 inches x 300 strokes per time x 2.25 encounters per week is about 5 miles per year.
Gosh it would take ten year of this to travel 50 miles.
JR
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08-08-2014, 01:55 PM
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#9
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Pending Age Verification
User ID: 248246
Join Date: Jun 21, 2014
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 169
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zeejoe
It needs an odometer to count strokes.
1....2..... ........ ......... |
Not with me... I can be ur count Dracula lol on Sesame Street.... " A oooonnnneeee ahhhhh twwwwwooooo" hahahahaha 
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08-08-2014, 04:25 PM
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#10
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El Hombre de la Mancha
Join Date: Dec 30, 2009
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 46,404
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saint7
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It does not come in 1.3" of dangling death size.
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