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ttmax, what issue is this thread going to start up? This whole thing is a dump on me, and I am down with it. Jump in and give it your best shot, the only price of admission is a blonde joke. I suspect we would even enjoy a brunette joke if you feel the need to be PC.
Let's stay on TOPIC please.... LOL only blonde jokes! Just kidding. You can't hijack an SL threAD. Your a good sport Rover!
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!”
“NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!”
One night a man walked into a bar with an alligator.
He stood up on the counter and anounced "If i stick my cock and balls into this gators mouth, let the gator shut his jaws and pull them out without a scratch on 'em you'll all buy me a drink."
The crowed looked up at the man and nodded with glee.
So the man whipped out his cock and balls and stuck them in the gators mouth then shut the gators jaws.
A few moments later he hit it on the head with a beer bottel and the gators mouth flung open, he pulled his genitilia out without a scratch.
As he was collecting his first free drink he looked to the crowed and asked if anybody would like to try.
A hush blew over the crowed.
All of a sudden a hand shot up in the back." I would said the blond lady if you promise not to hit me in the head with a beer bottle.
I just saw this... lmfao!
How the hell could I be mean to you after this??? Piss me off please!!!!!!
Sorry I do not have any blonde jokes to contribute... however, here's a redhead joke for shits and grins...
Q: What's the difference between a ginger and a vampire? A: One is a pale, bloodsucking creature that avoids the sun. The other is a vampire.
Let's deal with the Red Head joke first. That was super good! I always laugh when I read "No Tan Lines". That either means the lady goes to a tanning salon or she is in a motel room so much she is white as a ghost. Almost like a vampire if you will. LOL
Now let's deal with SL meeting the world famous Ginger. If you know nothing else about me... I love sassy chicks. Now who is more sassy than you? Winner, Winner, chicken dinner! Of course you must know what a funny guy I am. The providers I see are ALWAYS laughing. Unfortunately it seems to always happen when I get undressed. Really not sure why?
So let’s get down to business. After careful review of your show case with NO FACE picture... I feel in lust twice. First with the left one then the right one. That’s right! LOL Now you offer a birthday discount.... hell I have a birthday. So that’s -$20, Military discount.... well no one is more patriotic than me... -$20. I listen to Rock & Roll... -$20. I would most certainly VALUE our time together....so that should make me a valued client.... no? Another -$20. So if I book the short session.... let me do the math************ hummmmmm************** carry the 3************ that should be $35.00 as my poker buddies would say... I'm all in!
References? Well the last two years I usually say... "Hi I'm Still Looking" and that’s about it. But I did just join P411. Gina is wonderful and P411 is really great. I've been a member now just over a month and have 33 Okays. Several of the providers just start laughing and ask how in the hell do you get 30+ okays in a month? Oh wait a minute… your “Still Looking”…. Never mind I understand.
And you know how romantic I am.... so what say you and I meet. If you want to know what I look like right now…. Well kinda like this!
Now if you agree to meet me, I bet I'll look like this!
There is a reason they call me "Still Looking....
You might be the one to get me to change my handle to... "Found Her".
Did mention I have a very funny effect on young ladies like yourself?
A blonde was trying to sell her old car but wasn't having any luck because the car had 250,000 miles on it.
One day, she mentioned this to a friend. Her friend told her, "There is a way to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."
"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "I've just gotta sell it."
"Okay," said the friend. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the odometer in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell it."
The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, her friend asked her, "Well, did you sell your car?"
"No," replied the blonde, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"
A beautiful blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet.. As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs.
The sign says:
'SEX FROGS'
Only $20 each!
Comes with 'complete' instructions.
The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, 'I'll TAKE one!'
... As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the instructions!'
The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.
As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does EXACTLY what is specified:
1.. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.
She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, . . . NOTHING happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, 'If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store.'
So, she calls the pet store. The man says, 'I'll be right over.' Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!'
The man . . . looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and STERNLY says:
'LISTEN TO ME!!
I'm only going to show you how to do this
ONE ... MORE ... TIME!!!'
Two blondes were driving down the road.
The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''
A Blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is angry, She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells "No, honey, don't do it." The blond replies "Shut up, you're next."