OK I have had it with Racism in hobbying

[Guest110724]

Thanks for the insight Fort Worth Punk.
Proves it wasn't my imagination.

[Sasquatch]

My business serves all folks across the human spectrum. Being a fat, white guy, I see some folks turned off by my white hair or my physical size. Other times, I charm folks of all colors.

Hobbying for over 20 years, I see that I now work best with ladies that are 35+ that are not spinners. I realize I may scare 18 year old girls that are 1/3 my size.

Life is not always fair. It's just something we need to deal with and not stress ourselves because we can't always get what we want.

[TexTongue]

There are 2 different things going on here.

The OP is talking about a bad experience he had while going to an SC which is a public place. Yes, they have the right to refuse business but it is relatively public and to do something like that to the OP is dumb from a business standpoint IMHO. It is an open business and they're there to make money. Make Noise here, where they advertise, other boards, write letters to the ownership, etc... There are a lot of things you can do to show your displeasure and believe me, the owners will pay attention. Bottom Line: Poor Customer Service and an Unhappy Customer is a powerful thing.

The other stuff is BCD and while I might not agree or like it when I see "NO BLACK MEN" or "WHITE MEN ONLY" or something like that; it is BCD and the provider is being up front and honest. I gotta respect that IMHO. There are plenty of fish in the sea and DFW is RICH with many great providers.

I'm sorry the OP had a lousy time and I believe he was just venting his frustration. Things are changing but it is slow and Racial Stereotypes are learned, but so is tolerance and it is gaining ground but you can't take it for granted. I'm willing to pitch in here and write a letter to both places complaining that my fellow ECCIE member had a lousy time, is this the way to run a business, I'm telling all my buddies to avoid your place, etc... I'm sure others here would be willing to participate too.

[Sami]

We all get discriminated against these days, wrong skin color, wrong hair color,to fat, too skinny, bilingual, not bilingual,real boobs,fake boobs,spinner,bbw.When I read on hear everyone has there own preferences, and so many times it gets turned around to discrimination..

A guy goes out looking for the type of girl he wants, we all have different things that he is hunting. Not Discrimination. His Choice.. Men have their list and won't look at others and clearly state who they wont visit because it's not there type . His Choice

The Lady's have the choice to see whom they are comfortable with. I have seen black gentleman state they wont see black woman, now is that wrong to?It's again choice. And still can make those providers feel discriminated against I don't like to see men under 30, because of the maturity level. It's again choice, not discrimination.

I hope one day people can learn to let it be about choices and not discrimination..
The hobby is supposed to be fun, and full of fantasy. Not frustrating or to be takin personal.

Hugs for all..

[Secret Horned Frog]

I am curious if any of the black guys that have been shunned by white ladies at strip clubs have been to Club Onyx on Northwest HWY. From what I understand, it does cater to black guys.

[argus256]

I don't dislike or hate any race or creed.

That being said, stereotypes do exist for a reason. This applies to all races.

[TexTushHog]

Rambo Creed is exactly correct!! He beat me to the punch on how inappropriate the "just get over it" attitude is, nit to mention the "different strokes for different folks.". Both are apologies and justifications for racism. Should Blacks just have "gotten over" slavery? Not being able to vote? Lynchings? Poll taxes? Discrimination in hotels, sitting in the back of the bus, separate water fountains?

Racists should be more than made to feel unconfortable. They should be shunned and ostracized from and decent society. This one included.

[darkchoc6]

I believe the OP was simply venting his frustrations and I definitely understand where it's coming from. It sometimes can be very therapeutic to vent.

I had a provider tell me she doesn't see black men because she was robbed by a black client. Though I feel bad about her experience I advised her that not only do I not steal but also am very close to finishing my masters degree and will be doing a 2nd Masters immediately after. I know the degree does not mean I can't be a criminal but it should let her know that she is not dealing with the typical "thug" type.

As far as getting over it, it becomes difficult because I love fetishes and finding fetish friendly and color friendly providers can be a challenge. As was suggested by someone else, the OP should join p411 as it has helped me in a major way. When providers see the type of reputable providers that have given me an okay, usually all is well.

I hope this helps the OP and to everyone else who has commented on this thread or thought about it, "Can we all just get along" (Sorry but I felt like having a Rodney King moment).

[BigPurdy]

Some of you guys are too funny and even sad. How can you apply racism to an industry where everything, and I mean everything, is based on personal preference and individual choice. And now you all have the audacity to bring slavery into the equation. Slavery was abolished in 1864, can we please get over it and move on! It is very unlikely that there is anyone alive today who even knew anyone that was involved in slavery. The bottom line is that anyone who pulls the race card on an issue such as this is not a part of the solution, just a larger part of the problem.

It's really ironic. In chat a couple of nights ago there was a discussion comparing the Houston area to Dallas and one of the more outspoken contributors to this thread made a statement that he preferred Houston to Dallas because Dallas is extremely ghetto. Ghetto scares most people. Maybe that's part of the reason some providers are selective about who they see.

Like Meg said, this dead horse has been beat and beat to death and there are a lot of us that are sick of it. I think most of us live our lives every day attempting to treat everyone equally and as we prefer to be treated. Hell you guys complain about discrimination and in many areas of the country there is just as much reverse discrimination going on. In our politically correct world, there are programs such as affirmative action that are in place to prevent racial and sexual discrimination, but they end up creating discrimination against other individuals.

There are so many liberties given to black Americans today that aren't afforded everyone else. Blacks have exclusive TV shows and networks, government programs, colleges and college funds, pageants, clubs and organizations, the list goes on. If white Americans attempted to follow the lead on this, in our politically correct world, imagine the fallout. We would be toe dragged to the White House.

I think the biggest issue with all of this is that a large part of the American population just won't let it go away. They really don't want it to go away. What would the Jessie Jacksons and the Al Sharptons of the world have to do if racism disappeared today? It's no different than the Al Gore, global warming issue. They incorporate in-your-face tactics that are used to keep the pot stirred and keep the issues on the fore front. I think that if we all just let it go, that's exactly what would happen, it would go away.

I can speak for myself and say that for me and my interactions with many different races through my business dealings, it is a non issue until it's brought up in a forum or discussion such as this.

It's pretty simple for me, if there is a business, individual, club or association that prefers not to have anything to do with me, I don't bitch about it, I go elsewhere.

BP

[TexRich]

BigPurdy, excellent post! It makes too much sense and will not be absorbed by the left wing idealog that tries to use his extremist views to insult others that are more pragmatic and sensible.

[Bloodhound]

BigPurdy
I agree with your post 100%!

[hotlips_houlihan]

Gawd I'm in hobby love with BigPurdy lol

[Apollo!]

Nice post BP!

[Caitlyn]

A lot of girls in strip clubs, DO have pimps. And, if she was young, her pimp may have been IN there. Second, maybe this chic grew up, not to like black MEN, maybe she was raped, maybe thats how she ws raised. Either way, whatever the reason was... it sucks.
I have dated men of all races. I don't discriminate in that regard. But I tell you what, and I mean this. Every single "close" call, or scary moment I have ever had in my 12 years of doing this... has been with a black male. I am Puerto Rican and White... My daughter is Multi-racial.... black being one of those races. BUT... I will not, after 3 times of being scared out of my mind... see a black male. Call it what you want. Say I am predjudice... say anything. But maybe, just maybe, some of these chics have had the same experiences?? I am not saying youre like them.... I am not saying that every black male who wants to "hobby" is the same. However, I have a 3 strike rule... and I made exceptions after the first 2. The last one, I was nearly raped, in my own home... if the guys pregnant wife wouldnt have been calling him over and over... there would have been nothing I could have done. So after that... I just decided not to do it. I know it may sound shallow to you, or whoever is reading this...but I am scared to death of that happening again.. so I avoid it. Don't get me wrong.... there a lot of white rapists.. Hispanic rapists... hell, there may even be Asian rapists... But I cant identify with that. I dont respond well to Aggressive men...

It's sad that some of these men who are "Out of Line" aggressive, and disrespectful can ruin it for everyone else. Yes, all money is GREEN... I agree. But from a psychologica lstandpoint... my safety, and sanity, and more important than money.

Its just like a place that takes checks. If they have a high number of bounces or returned items, chances are they wont accept checks anymore.... same situation.

I wish you luck...

[lisa.lisa0302]

I see Rambro is back........

So does anybody know if the OP found someone yet, its only over 600 hundred ladies in the metroplex area. Surely there is someone willing to take his money.

PS You don't see Ebony women complaining when white men don't want to see us.