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Lexxxy · 06-08-2013, 08:09 AM

Yesterday I was having an amazing time with my brand new utr nervous newbie friend BellaDonna

So far we had only seen regulars that I have seen more times than I can count. I scheduled us a large gap to swim, go out to eat, and hang out. She said she just wasnt hungry yet and that she was too excited and wanted to learn how to screen and see someone new.
We started going through my list of bp messages until we found this interesting one from a new Gent explaining he has only had bad experiences and been told no. In this email he gave WAY TMI he even enclosed his online banking info to prove that despite his young age he can provide proper funds. I explained the danger in doing so and set up a date. His 1 and only request was I stand in front of the door with it wide open because he had a guy hide behind a door and open it then beat him and rob him in Georgia.
The time came to meet, she was pacing the room and he was blowing up my phone. I was sitting there wondering what I got myself into. The knock! I open the door to greet him with her and he just grabs me and kisses me then grabed my chest. He grabed my hand holding it sweetly (still in the door way) before I can even insist he comes in He whispers " I can pass the cop test too!" With one fast swoop he drops his jeans with 1 hand and guides my hand towards his___with my hand he's holding! I pull my hand back so he grabbed his ____and said "see!". I say "omg"and turn around to rush into the room and there stands BellaDonna"can I wait until he's all the way in the door before I touch it?" I said " YES! GET IN THE ROOM AND CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR!" He does the pants-around-ankles shuffle in and I started laughing so hard my eyes were watering goes " I'm so excited this is finally happening!" And tries to take his pants off over his shoes and falls down. By this time I'm trying so hard not to laugh anymore it was unreal. I kneel by him and untie his shoes to help him and he starts kissing me on the floor before I could get his shoes off. Poor BellaDonna is new ( they do monkey see monkey do ) so she gets on the floor and starts making out with him taking her bra off while he took his shirt off. The entire date took place 15ft from the door on the floor LMFAO!
The hobby never ceases to throw new things my way!
To new Gents, dont give us your parents names, links to their facebooks, or your bank info haha.
To everyone, please come in and close the door before you take off your pants and...jacket lmfao.

jackfengshui · 06-08-2013, 08:26 AM

Nice provider's review! Even DD might approve.

Lexxxy · 06-08-2013, 08:30 AM

*Giggles* it was too funny I HAD to share. Before he left I asked if I could because I knew I wanted to.

jackfengshui · 06-08-2013, 08:51 AM

Between your regulars and this gent, it must have been quite an eye-opening day for BellaDonna.

EnglishGent · 06-08-2013, 02:32 PM

Thanks Lexxxy, I really needed a laugh today, and that did it LOL
.

Tim Bucktwo · 06-08-2013, 02:50 PM

I think he read OSD's book, Hobbying for Dummies.

offshoredrilling · 06-08-2013, 04:12 PM

If there was a book, it would have you want her to call or meet in a bar or other public place as part of screening each other.

As this story went, I was thinking he was going for

Quote:

Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

and fucked it up.
edit: and remember to spend some time with family.

dang you can see the door bend when the lawyer backs away.

JONBALLS · 06-08-2013, 04:27 PM

he was spending time with family....no?

offshoredrilling · 06-08-2013, 04:35 PM

mmmmm I can't remember if the door girl was family or friend of. Did that brides maid door girl win the flower throwing?????

sister or cousin, in-law, just friend of, just another ...........

JONBALLS · 06-08-2013, 04:46 PM

i gotta thinck their related somewhere

kinK AYY

offshoredrilling · 06-08-2013, 04:57 PM

I have a door in mind, but 90 days is not up and I got to get her to call me bro or cuz or something related. LOL She has outfits that would work, dang bet she taint got no old bridesmaid dress anymore dang nab it.

offshoredrilling · 06-08-2013, 05:11 PM

JB can I get you to go along. Ta knock on the door and say osd ya in there. After I answer then say A (pick a local upset mod or dearhunter) wants ta see ya. Then leave after I say ya give me a minute.

JONBALLS · 06-08-2013, 05:18 PM

ill knock on the door but no crossing swords

offshoredrilling · 06-08-2013, 05:33 PM

errrr pray to tebow my fat ass does not push her skinny butt threw the door then.

JONBALLS · 06-08-2013, 06:14 PM

well............shell come crashing through and ill end up in her pooper..........that could be a tad awkward

thats gonna make me late to see the god father