Outing - When is it appropriate?

[Tj1984]

Recently, there have been a few instances of public outing on a popular social media site. Some instances have involved one provider outing another, and others have involved the client being outed by a provider. I’m just curious what people think the line is. To me, public outing is like the nuclear option and should only be used if the safety of the community is at risk. If a client is dangerous or threatening in some way for example. To publicly out someone for lesser offenses is excessive in my opinion. One recent situation involved a NCNS by a client. At last check, I saw no negative reaction by the SW community or the clients to the client being outed (one poster who is not sw spoke up). I suspect the SW community would have been pretty vocal (with good reason) if a client outed a lady’s personal information for a NCNS. To be clear, I don’t defend what he did. It is wrong and disrespectful to NCNS. That should never happen. That being said, to me, it doesn’t feel like the punishment fit the crime in that case.

I also think that seeing someone get outed for lesser offenses may make clients less comfortable providing their real life information as part of screening. The argument has always been that it is required as a safety measure. While I am not comfortable with giving out that information myself, I can see the point. It has to be scary on several levels to allow a stranger to show up for these types of encounters. If having the client’s personal info helps the provider feel safer, then she is entitled to require it. I respect the choice that the ladies make and if I am not comfortable with how they choose to screen I just move on.

I am curious to hear from the clients and the providers on this. We need to be respectful of each other in order to make this a safe and positive experience for both sides of the encounter. Understanding the different viewpoints is a start.

[lilylivered]

I dont think NB needs info if you have a couple good references.
Not positive.

[Tj1984]

Originally Posted by lilylivered

I dont think NB needs info if you have a couple good references.
Not positive.

Thanks. I’ll check into that. Everything I hear and read about NB suggests she is a very good provider.

[Dr-epg]

Gentlemen

Just a reminder about ECCIE and outing.

#5 - Membership here is entirely anonymous and for the privacy of our members it will remain that way. That means any effort or attempt to connect a person's real world information to their username on this board or elsewhere will be dealt with swiftly and harshly. This includes real first or last names, employment, medical info, addresses past or present, images, criminal or driving record, etc. We expect everyone who participates here to respect and go to great lengths to protect the anonymity and privacy of one another. Reckless disregard or accidental outing will also be taken very seriously, as will posts deemed by staff to be a 'threat of outing'. In other words, posts which simply imply knowledge of personal details beyond one's public fictional persona or what has been revealed in writing on this board will be dealt with using the same strong measures as actual outing of one's personal information.

[offshoredrilling]

Originally Posted by Dr-epg

Gentlemen

Just a reminder about ECCIE and outing.

#5 - Membership here is entirely anonymous and for the privacy of our members it will remain that way. That means any effort or attempt to connect a person's real world information to their username on this board or elsewhere will be dealt with swiftly and harshly. This includes real first or last names, employment, medical info, addresses past or present, images, criminal or driving record, etc. We expect everyone who participates here to respect and go to great lengths to protect the anonymity and privacy of one another. Reckless disregard or accidental outing will also be taken very seriously, as will posts deemed by staff to be a 'threat of outing'. In other words, posts which simply imply knowledge of personal details beyond one's public fictional persona or what has been revealed in writing on this board will be dealt with using the same strong measures as actual outing of one's personal information.

"Gentlemen" ??? where ??? loosely I take it

and yup, so be sure its worth a year or more
shhhhh mine have been

edit add: and done with no 2nd handle
time served with pride

[Guest011124]

Circumstances that may lead to me publicly outing a client...

If he rapes me.

If he beats me/physically assaults me.

If he steals a large sum of cash from me.

Outside of that? I am personally am not likely to publicly out someone.

There are many avenues for ladies to use where they can blacklist a client or warn other ladies about unsavory clients - without publicly outing him.

Some would argue that once he knows he’s been blacklisted, the warning loses most of its benefit (because he will continue to do the same thing, now he just knows to do so under a different persona)

Some ladies that are very quick to out others in the community. This just tells me that they lack discretion & that I can’t trust them with my personal, real life information.

[bobmidnight]

Originally Posted by bustybabygirl

Some ladies that are very quick to out others in the community. This just tells me that they lack discretion & that I can’t trust them with my personal, real life information.

Exactly.

[Guest072323]

Originally Posted by bustybabygirl

Some ladies that are very quick to out others in the community. This just tells me that they lack discretion & that I can’t trust them with my personal, real life information.

That's some sage advice there.....

[Tj1984]

Thanks BBG. It is nice to get the perspective of someone who has to deal with all of the nonsense. Everything you said makes a lot of sense.

[valkyra]

Originally Posted by bustybabygirl

Circumstances that may lead to me publicly outing a client...

If he rapes me.

If he beats me/physically assaults me.

If he steals a large sum of cash from me.

Outside of that? I am personally am not likely to publicly out someone.

There are many avenues for ladies to use where they can blacklist a client or warn other ladies about unsavory clients - without publicly outing him.

Some would argue that once he knows he’s been blacklisted, the warning loses most of its benefit (because he will continue to do the same thing, now he just knows to do so under a different persona)

Some ladies that are very quick to out others in the community. This just tells me that they lack discretion & that I can’t trust them with my personal, real life information.

I agree with BBG. I treat people as I want to be treated, and I wouldn't appreciate someone outing my information. Now, if I had a weird experience with a client, I would share his info with a few close provider friends, and not necessarily tell them NOT to see him, but I'd give them the heads up - hey, hes a little rough, or hes going to try this, or he was pushing for this and I had to state no several times, etc etc. But never the full information, usually just the info they would contact me with. If she doesn't feel comfortable with that, then its better she knows ahead of time so she ISN'T caught in a situation where she might have to out his information to protect the community.

Also, I love your profile pic, its super HD and really pops on my screen!

[JONBALLS]

Probably smart to back a guy into a corner and poke with a stick
I'm sure your biz is TOTALLY above board and legal with ALL taxes accounted for . There def isn't miles of electronic correspondence in the cloud sure that goes away when you hit delete
Makes me wonder what was the final straw that tweaked shawcross?

Keep outing by all means

[JONBALLS]

Originally Posted by Paulie Rockstar

That's some sage advice there.....

Little. Birdie tell you that in the rain?

[Tj1984]

Thanks Valkyra. I don’t think anyone can argue with that approach. You ladies need to look out for each other. That’s one of the big reasons for these boards for the men. If a provider is putting people in dangerous situations, there needs to be a way to warn the next potential victim. No reason that needs to involve outing.

[Guest072323]

Originally Posted by JONBALLS

Little. Birdie tell you that in the rain?

Remember that Buffalo girl who moved to the cuse for a while and ended up plastering the light posts with flyers of a hobbyist with his picture, full name and address???

That was pretty much outing I thinck....
Not sure what set her off.... maybe her wk can fill us in....

She has since changed her name and honed those skills....

[keeponrisin]

It's ok after you receive $150,000 to keep quiet