~How to be a Ho~

[Toyz]

In tonights edition of "How to be a Ho" 2014 Man Magazines Man of the Year presents a how to guide for any Ho wanting to use photography in her advertising campaign:



Yo. All yur lif you been wantin' to make bank. Now, wif ToYz online lessons fo you to lurn, you two can be a high profit, high volume Ho.
One of da tings you gotta lurn about Ho'ing is how to show dat ass off and get Johns to spen da benjies. Takin' selfies is how to do it. You can get any cheap camera to take da pics. Or you can sign up fo ToYz 30 online courses at the cheap Ho introductory rate of $37.50 a week & I will sin to you yo OWN high quality ToYz cell phone!



Takin' high quality pics is mo complicated than most Ho's can unnerstan. Dats why my course on How to show off dat ass is worth so much more than the price.

Some of the things I teach you are:

Johns Don't Like Clock Watchers! Don't take no selfies that show you got dem on da clock.



I will show you how to hide dat Tyrannosaurus looking gut on you when taking hot selfies.



Dudes don't care who da baby daddy is bish! Even if he is a shift mgr at Wal Mart



And if da dudes don't want to know who da baby daddy is, they shur as shit don't wanna see your real daddy! Keep dat shit to yoself...and damn chur don't tell your Mamma.



I'll sho you how to properly advertise yo doubles partner by not letting her in your selfie. Just say "doubles available with my twin". Once a John has da hard on, she'll look just fine



And Gurl, kick dat Pimp to da curb! You won't need his moochin' ass after you complete da entire ToYz set of courses. Don't let his ignant ass take yo pictures. He is a Pimp BECAUSE he is stoopid, not because he is smart.



If yo friend in da furry boots is chopping off a log so solid da bitch has to grab some wall to push it out, do NOT let her be in yo selfie!



And last, we teach you how ta pic yo background and mo impotantly how to flush da john.



Seriously Bish! Flush the fugging turd! No John can keep it up with the smell of fresh poopy filling the incall. Dey can't con-sin-trate on yo titties if a floater is still bobbin' in the toilet. Proper prep-ur-ation for anal includes sending dat huge log on its way.

So order yo copy of the ToYz course and save yo Hoogar career.

[Eraserman]

You sir are a true Angel of Mercy. Too bad you didn't get to the poor girls you mention before they had the chance to flush their career down the toilet (but not their turds).

I wish I could be as noble.

E

[Centaur]

Dammit man...do you know what it feels like to snarf Chambord margarita on your own phone and crab cakes!?!

[Justina Carter]

That chic with her foot in the sink is my dream girl.

[tallndarkntx]

Can't stop laughing! Truly a masterful post Toyz!

[RandB fan]

When you get your first $37.50 you can pay for this banner I spent hours designing. That and a low end beer and a bologna and Velveeta sammy.

toyzU.png


Maybe I should consider future compensation vs. immediate gratification.

I want/ demand ur ah plead/ beg for a multi-hour session with the Valedictorian of each graduating class. deal?

You missed a couple...

[Toyz]

OMG! THAT is great! I want tax exempt status as a legitimate "School of Fine Arts"....

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by Justina Carter

That chic with her foot in the sink is my dream girl.

Shes got the goggles going on...

[Hobart420]

Originally Posted by Toyz

dangit! I was just munching on some leftover Halloween tootsie rolls!

[purpletree]

Rarely does this board get me to laugh out loud but that photo with the furry boot girl in the background is hilarious. LOL.

[Imatk]

Furry boot girl grabbing the wall.... FTMFW!

[NikkiWhite]

Ewww thats nasty jail flush people jail flush.....

[The Player]

Damn these hoes look rough as hell....who is paying for that shit?

[Hobart420]

huh,huh,huh,huh,you said

shit

[Risn2TheOccasion]

NOW THAT'S FUNNY!