Ah cain't buh-leeve mah eyes!

Thet l'il hussy dun outed mah real world pitcher!
If'n Ah catch up ta 'er, Ah ain't e'en gonna sic mah buddy, Greg "Rollin' Thunder" Abbott on 'er. Thet's toooo good fer 'er.

Ah'm a-gonna stick it inner butthole and' go ta town on thet dirty starfish, an' Ah ain't gonna use no lubrimacashun. Not e'en a l'il bit.

We'll see who's a-gonna have tha last laff, missy.
'Member, Red. Ah iz hung like a dang tuna can. When Ah git thru wif ya, yew'll be able ta put a whole Hick'ry Farms summer snausage up yer poophole an' not e'en touch tha sides, sugartits.

Ree-flect on thet afore tha nex' time yew go an' mess wif
Tha DOUCHE!