Outing. How can it be dealt with?

[Whispers]

Being threatened in some manner by someone that has the information to invade you personal life is pretty serious situation to deal with.

some react by guesting....

some that guest come back.....

some make threats of their own.......

The Mods, Admins and Owners of this board are fast and decisive to deal with it when it occurs here on the board. There is nothing they can do when it is happening off the board though.

Any thoughts on how to deal with it?

If you were worried you were going to be outed how would you respond?

If you KNEW someone here was being threatened or manipulated by someone else here but it was happening off the board what would you tell them to do?

What response is appropriate?

Once again.... what happens off the board is not anything the owners, admins or Mods of this board can or will deal with so present a real world option.....

Your responses and contributions to this thread will be read by a few with very real concerns that are confused and frightened.

Set aside your petty dislike for me and sit this one out or contribute with the thought in mind that there is a single mom sitting somewhere reading this that is afraid her whole world is about to come apart..... or a buddy is in fear of what someone might do that is pissed at him and knows way too much about him.....

[Guest032716]

Are we reaching?

[Beagle]

Finally, the thread I've been holding out for! This is the true discussion we should be having.....the root to the other threads we've been seeing.

For starters, I am a staunch opposer of "eye for an eye" approach. While we'd prefer that individuals in the community have the decency and maturity not to expose others, that's sadly not always the case. I've heard rumors of providers being outed amidst the feuds that has gone on outside the boards. Clash of personalities, jealousy, overzealous wk'ing are among the causes of the bickerings, that I'm aware of.

I've pondered over this issue in the past, and the only solution I can think of is to shine the spotlight on those who engage in outing others. In the same way journalism keeps government officials on their toes, alerting the community to the actions of volatile individuals would add a level of deterrence.

Obviously, there's limitations to what any of us can do. Ultimately, every individual has personal accountability, and certain standards that they are expected to hold up to. If you want to play a dangerous game, you better pray you yourself don't slip up. Karma finds its way. I might not stoop to the level of personal vendetta, but the same can't be said of others.

[Guest032716]

So, the Austin dumb fucks weigh in on something concerning SA, the real story of which they have no clue. Priceless! Maybe the dog and his handler should stay in Austin.

[Guest061815-1]

[Guest112916]

Originally Posted by Whispers - The Mods, Admins and Owners of this board are fast and decisive to deal with it when it occurs here on the board. There is nothing they can do when it is happening off the board though.

I have to tell guys and gals this statement daily. They just don't understand that we are not the neighborhood watch out there in the real world.

[Beagle]

Originally Posted by Louigi

So, the Austin dumb fucks weigh in on something concerning SA, the real story of which they have no clue. Priceless! Maybe the dog and his handler should stay in Austin.

I don't remember the last time you've posted any useful info. Few months back, you supposedly had details about W's crimes behind the scenes. Kept us in suspense, together with RR's promise of a good showdown.....turned out to be a bunch of hot air.....

You're a classic example of a pussywhip......the stance you take on any issue is premised upon picking your provider's side. I believe there are guilty parties on both sides, and unlike you, I don't cover up for someone just because I'm tapping their pussy. To be so blindly manipulated by a whore......that's pretty pathetic.

You know something we don't? Let's hear it.....

PS. Louigi, keep your PM's to yourself.....no attempt for discussion or offering any details; just hurling insults......that's pretty childish....

[Netx9]

Originally Posted by Whispers

If you KNEW someone here was being threatened or manipulated by someone else here but it was happening off the board what would you tell them to do?

Let's just assume the KNEW part was certain (proof, not just hearsay), we all know the answer. This thread is subtext for something else.

Yes, this site and it's staff can't do anything about it if it's not on here, but I bet if a hobbyist, for example, was known to attack or hurt providers (again, with proof), their account would be closed. While the terms of use claim the site has no liability, just the possibility of knowingly providing access to a violent person would be reason enough to not take a chance. Many of the reasons people can be banned are not posted anywhere, for example, accessing your account from multiple IP addresses. Also in the terms, the site reserves the right to change those terms at any time and they have no obligation to guarantee anyone an account or access.

Having said that, the answer would be different for each unique situation. A violent stalker threatening to out someone may suggest contacting LE. Maybe not. Changing contact information, closing email accounts, changing phone numbers are all a given. If someone just knows your real name or Facebook info, close any online accounts affiliated with your real name. If they know your address and you are legitimately concerned for your safety, move. For a married hobbyist, consider coming clean to your SO/wife. It'll suck, but suck less than coming home to a pissed off spouse reading copies of your reviews - at least you can control the information some, and possibly, possibly lessen the trauma.

Clearly, close/delete eccie, p411, TER, etc. Depending on the threat and information that could be divulged, the response would be different. If you have reciprocal knowledge, like beagle, I'm not comfortable with an eye for an eye AFTER the outing, but beforehand, the threat of "outing back" could be used to discourage your own outing.

No matter how you look at it, it's a derivative question. Do as much as possible to protect yourself, and disassociate yourself from whatever information may be the subject of the outing.

Some may suggest violence or threats of violence in retaliation for outing or the threat of it. Just think very carefully before breaking the law to protect yourself. Can you live with the consequences? Have you exhausted all other options? Is there a threat of violence to you and are you willing to defend yourself?

Lastly, sunlight may be the best disinfectant. Post an alert. Share the info/threat in the private forums. Share it with your peers outside of the site. Report them to the national blacklist and other sites they may be a member of (ie, p411). Post an ad on Backpage. Do whatever you're comfortable with - these are just suggestions but they're all obvious.

To the OP, if this topic is of such import, put it in the national forum and get suggestions from a wider audience and possibly reach someone who has dealt with this issue. Posting it here in San Antonio exposes your agenda and the obvious pretext behind it.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Louigi

Are we reaching?

Nope...

Not at all... it's being talked about in a thread by ladies caught up in it and there are more than those involved.....

A few months back Rocker Rick made threats of outing anybody attending any even related to the Christmas fundraiser.

Then again you know that because in PMs today you reached out to threaten me with "back off of Slave G or watch the Fundraiser get destroyed",,,again today,

Nice huh? You and the midget threaten to damage an event that raises money for disadvantaged kids simply to protect some old whore... No worries... I announced back then that due to the seriousness of the threats made by Slave's midget sidekick Rocker Rick and echoed by a few like you that there would be no Fundraiser this year.... I'll meet their needs in some other fashion with the help of some friends.... But hey there big man.... how does it feel taking Christmas away from some kid?

There is not shortage of people here in San Antonio that seem to think outing others is the answer to any issue.....

This thread is not "reaching"... It is about looking for advice on how someone that is being targeted can or should react....

Thanks for letting us know though that you are one of the players....

[Netx9]

Originally Posted by Whispers

.

Then again you know that because in PMs today you reached out to threaten me with "back off of Slave G or watch the Fundraiser get destroyed",,,again today,

There is not shortage of people here in San Antonio that seem to think outing others is the answer to any issue.....

This thread is not "reaching"... It is about looking for advice on how someone that is being targeted can or should react....

Huh. Private communications??

People being targeted? What about people that were actually outed in no small part due to your campaign to destroy her and the atmosphere your posturing fosters?? It's not a reach to suggest that others deemed it ok to target her because you did. And in this case, went beyond targeting. Your antics bear some responsibility. Did you do it, no. Did someone take it too far, yes.

Let me make another suggestion if you're threatened to be outed, don't exacerbate the situation by drawing attention to yourself and possibly encouraging others to join "the hunt". Using an attention-seeking, flamethrower to fight your fight won't help. If you have a legit threat, see my other advice. How many people have read these antics who had no idea what may be going on are now curious? Not all of that curiosity is benign. Creeps on here will try to dig and find out and go lone wolf. Some people may find out and want to help, but some may find out and want to hurt.

Op, You're messing with people's lives, however justified you may feel in doing it.

[The Player]

This shit is funny! providers do it all of the time to johns but they hate it when they get put on blast! Everyone is forgetting why they are on the board or why they should be.

I applaud VonSpeiler as well! A great mod who is honest and doesn't bring the off board stuff on here. I hope the fan club boys and others on this board including mods in other cities take this to heart as well as the providers starting trouble.

my personal observation is that some managed properties and girls who are getting old and losing business are starting all of the trouble.

[Whispers]

You added something to this that I never presented... Violence.... my questions here are formulated in regards to Outing alone....

So your advice is to run from it? Which let's the other party have the control over you and your life that they seek. They also feel more empowered by it and feel free to use the same tactic with other....

It is certainly what others do when threatened..... I'm not sure how effective it is over all.... afterwards the community is left with the villain still in the midst.


Regarding the National Forum... perhaps... At the moment this is an issue that is on the minds of more than a couple of people in San Antonio... and is a more localized issue......

Originally Posted by Netx9

Let's just assume the KNEW part was certain (proof, not just hearsay), we all know the answer. This thread is subtext for something else.

Yes, this site and it's staff can't do anything about it if it's not on here, but I bet if a hobbyist, for example, was known to attack or hurt providers (again, with proof), their account would be closed. While the terms of use claim the site has no liability, just the possibility of knowingly providing access to a violent person would be reason enough to not take a chance. Many of the reasons people can be banned are not posted anywhere, for example, accessing your account from multiple IP addresses. Also in the terms, the site reserves the right to change those terms at any time and they have no obligation to guarantee anyone an account or access.

Having said that, the answer would be different for each unique situation. A violent stalker threatening to out someone may suggest contacting LE. Maybe not. Changing contact information, closing email accounts, changing phone numbers are all a given. If someone just knows your real name or Facebook info, close any online accounts affiliated with your real name. If they know your address and you are legitimately concerned for your safety, move. For a married hobbyist, consider coming clean to your SO/wife. It'll suck, but suck less than coming home to a pissed off spouse reading copies of your reviews - at least you can control the information some, and possibly, possibly lessen the trauma.

Clearly, close/delete eccie, p411, TER, etc. Depending on the threat and information that could be divulged, the response would be different. If you have reciprocal knowledge, like beagle, I'm not comfortable with an eye for an eye AFTER the outing, but beforehand, the threat of "outing back" could be used to discourage your own outing.

No matter how you look at it, it's a derivative question. Do as much as possible to protect yourself, and disassociate yourself from whatever information may be the subject of the outing.

Some may suggest violence or threats of violence in retaliation for outing or the threat of it. Just think very carefully before breaking the law to protect yourself. Can you live with the consequences? Have you exhausted all other options? Is there a threat of violence to you and are you willing to defend yourself?

Lastly, sunlight may be the best disinfectant. Post an alert. Share the info/threat in the private forums. Share it with your peers outside of the site. Report them to the national blacklist and other sites they may be a member of (ie, p411). Post an ad on Backpage. Do whatever you're comfortable with - these are just suggestions but they're all obvious.

To the OP, if this topic is of such import, put it in the national forum and get suggestions from a wider audience and possibly reach someone who has dealt with this issue. Posting it here in San Antonio exposes your agenda and the obvious pretext behind it.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Netx9

Huh. Private communications??

Yup... Paraphrased from a PM's threat made directly to me by another member of the board and forwarded MOD's to be documented for future reference. I expect no help from them in this matter as no specific guidelines were breached just as none are here. If you are concerned for it you should check out the TXSuccubus thread where one of the Providers calls out another on something sent by PM..... You find it kind of common but wait... can a lady here ever do wrong in your eyes?.... probably just he ones that are a threat to Slave's business right?

People being targeted? What about people that were actually outed in no small part due to your campaign to destroy her and the atmosphere your posturing fosters??

In what way did my gripes about Slave G lead to the outing of other people? Are you confirming that she retaliated by outing others because of pressure that was my fault in some way?

It's not a reach to suggest that others deemed it ok to target her because you did. And in this case, went beyond targeting. Your antics bear some responsibility. Did you do it, no. Did someone take it too far, yes. But you do not remotely consider for a moment that perhaps she played some part in the actions that reached her?

Let me make another suggestion if you're threatened to be outed, don't exacerbate the situation by drawing attention to yourself and possibly encouraging others to join "the hunt". Using an attention-seeking, flamethrower to fight your fight won't help. If you have a legit threat, see my other advice. How many people have read these antics who had no idea what may be going on are now curious? Not all of that curiosity is benign. Creeps on here will try to dig and find out and go lone wolf. Some people may find out and want to help, but some may find out and want to hurt.

Op, You're messing with people's lives, however justified you may feel in doing it.

How is asking the members of this community to consider the issue of outing and put forth suggestions as to how to deal with it messing with anyone's lives?

[Netx9]

Originally Posted by Whispers

So your advice is to run from it? Which let's the other party have the control over you and your life that they seek. They also feel more empowered by it and feel free to use the same tactic with other.....

Actually, no, that wasn't my advice. I suggested LE as possibility depending on the seriousness and then later suggested:

Originally Posted by Netx9

Some may suggest violence or threats of violence in retaliation for outing or the threat of it. Just think very carefully before breaking the law to protect yourself. Can you live with the consequences? Have you exhausted all other options? Is there a threat of violence to you and are you willing to defend yourself?*

In short, I'm not saying run, I'm saying weigh your options, their efficacy, and their consequences. I'm not saying violence in the course of self defense is not/never an option. For example, if you feel threatened and buy a gun, are you prepared to use it? That could be justifiable self-defense. If you haven't been hurt yet, and have one of your friends go and "knock some sense" into your would-be attacker/stalker/outer, you've broken the law and if you get caught, can you deal with those consequences? I'm not a lawyer and while there might but some accounting in the law for "defense of others" or "imminent threat" - just be aware of the possible consequences and weigh ALL of your options.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Netx9

Actually, no, that wasn't my advice. I suggested LE as possibility depending on the seriousness and then later suggested:

Actually... in regards to the question presented I believe the only actual advice you gave was to run from it.

In short, I'm not saying run, I'm saying weigh your options, their efficacy, and their consequences. I'm not saying violence in the course of self defense is not/never an option. For example, if you feel threatened and buy a gun, are you prepared to use it? That could be justifiable self-defense. If you haven't been hurt yet, and have one of your friends go and "knock some sense" into your would-be attacker/stalker/outer, you've broken the law and if you get caught, can you deal with those consequences? I'm not a lawyer and while there might but some accounting in the law for "defense of others" or "imminent threat" - just be aware of the possible consequences and weigh ALL of your options.

You spun it... asked a lot of other questions... but in the end your advice was to withdraw into a shell shutting down all traces as well as moving if necessary...oh... and coming clean with the spouse.....

Go to the police? hmmmm... "Let get this straight mamm... you are a hooker.... some older hookers that thinks you are getting too much of her business has sent you information from your face book page and is threatening to tell all your friends and family you are a hooker?... Do I have that right? "

I don't see too many ladies thinking that will work very well for them.