Well? What are you waiting for?

[daty/o]

It's true, I have not been on this site for very long and could, by all rights, still be considered a newbie. While I don't still have my hobby cherry, I am a long way from being at ease with the lifestyle. I have noticed on many occasions that guys will admit to being nervous or tentative about getting into the water (so to speak). My question is this; what are you nervous about? What is it that makes grown men hesitant to fulfill their desires?

[Tiffany Cums]

Well, I think one of the fears might be that of a provider looking down on them in some way. Especially if they have low self esteem, or if they are requesting what they would feel to be out of the norm. They get 'flack' in real life as it is, and then for them to pay for it and still get 'flack' would be hard to deal with.

Then there are those who are in a serious realationship, whether they are married or not, if they have spent time and effort, and have invested feelings in a realationship, then they could be really fearful of getting caught.

Then there is the fear that they may enjoy it 'too much'.

[charlestudor2005]

Since I've never verbalized it before, it's hard to verbalize it the first time...especially with a stranger.

[Cpalmson]

It is the getting caught thing-- either by LE or SO. I was out of the country a while back in a location where the hobby is legal. It was so pressure free that I couldn't believe it. No fears, no qualms, great sex.

CT-- having sex with a stranger is one of the most appealing things for me about the hobby.

[T-Can]

First off, congrats on your first review esteve! Kaci is a sweet girl!

So what was I nervous about? Ever been nervous on the first day of a new job, first day of school, first date, etc.? That's what it felt like at first. I wasn't nervous my first time because I had been drinking. Second time I was nervous as hell and ended up getting hammered while waititng - I had gotten a hotel just for the occasion. As time went by, I was less and less nervous but it didn't wear off until about a couple months ago.

Maybe it could also be confidence..............but that's another story

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by Cpalmson

CT-- having sex with a stranger is one of the most appealing things for me about the hobby.

It's not having sex with a stranger...it's the talking about stuff I fantasize about with a stranger when I have never verbalized it with another person before. I haven't verbalized it because I think it is weird, kinky, whatever and if I did verbalize it, I'm afraid of the way it would be taken. Since I've always guarded against saying anything, I'm psychologically predisposed against saying anything. Overcoming that predisposition with a first-time stranger is hard.

[daty/o]

Thanks CanDo, she is indeed a sweetie. I wish her all the best. With time, she may even become a Cowboy fan.

Charles, I understand your reticence in this area. It's difficult enough in established relationships sometimes, let alone when both parties hardly know each other. I am very glad that there are alot of open-minded people in this lifestyle. After all, WALDT. Reminds me of the movie Night Shift; Shelley Long plays a hooker and Henry Winkler, her "business manager". He laments "It's a sick world, out there" and she says "Yeah, thank God".