How do you feel about being a reference.

[Dogoffhisleash]

This question is for the providers. Do you ever get upset/jealous/angry about being used as a reference or do you take it as just part of the game. Obviously if you are being contacted for a reference this is someone you have seen who is now going to see someone else. Do your feelings change depending on if it is someone you have seen once or multiple times? What about someone you really enjoyed being with or someone who you felt you went above and beyond for, does any of that make a difference?

[Jules Jaguar]

no i wouldnt mind at all, guys like variety! when i see someone im happy if they come back to see me but i wouldnt be upset if the wanted to see someone else either. i dont mind being used as a ref as long as i have seen them recently why not? i want all of us ladies to be safe in the hobby

[Dharma]

I don't mind at all. Clients move around and like different things from different providers. I have encountered providers who won't give references and it's aggravating. Most of the time it's BP girls but there are a few well known providers on this board who won't give a reference or return a call. I have to skip them and ask for another reference.

[lisa.lisa0302]

I don't mind at all. I like sharing. Also if he choose to see me again, he may come back with some good moves. Also it shows him that providers are not jealous and understand that men love variety.

[blackspanishteacher]

References are all a part of the hobbying atmosphere. I'm more than glad to be used as a reference. It lets me know that he thought enough of me to use my name. In which case he understands that there is a mutual understanding with in the hobby:

None of the men on this board belong to any 'one' lady here and vice versa. That is, unless there is an exclusive agreement made.

One of my very favorite students used to use me for a reference all the time, although now he is so well known that he doesn’t need references, lol. I would always give details such as: if you’re allergic to blah blah blah take a zyrtec before you arrive, etc, hoping that one day the favor would be returned.

How can a female become jealous when the nature of her position in the hobby is to spend time with multiple men?

We still visit with each other, now for over a year. If anything I suppose that I'm honored that even though there are others, he still deems me as being special enough to visit with on a regular basis.

The point is that variety is the spice of life. There are some guys who will only visit with a female once. Why not explore? I'm sure that bcd, we all do things very differently and that's ok. It's the same as us choosing to see a hobbyist for a second, third or whatever time. We have all made this choice.

[ALEADallas]

I don't feel jealous or angry.. I just dont' want to be bothered by someone else's biz.

I don't use the 'references' method to verify my clients as acceptable. when I did take time in the past to verify for other ladies I encountered alot of attitude, rudeness, and stupidity. Now I pass on all that ...

I am sure there are nice people in the biz but I just dont care to be included and have my time usurped. I request that all my clients not call me or hand my name out for verification purposes. Nothing personal or against anyone. all the arguements 'pro' the reference method I cam refute. so....... pass pass pass.
I prefer all encounters remain as private and one on one as possible. I'm very private myself and assume my special friends appreciate my consideration.

[Guest100513-2]

my experience is that many providers don't provide references or even bother to check them.

to those who actually do both, thanks

[Guest062124]

I have never denied a reference request.... and have never had any ladies refuse to help me out with one. It is just another way that we can look out for each other.

[Guest022712-3]

I've never denied a request--- but I've been refused more requests than I can count. I now use a variety of methods for verification as I've been given no choice.

[Red_Headed_Julie]

I never mind giving a reference... the ladies above have it right! It's a circle of trust amung us and we need to depend on each for our safety! I too have had ladies never respond to me, and it is aggrivating (especially if I have provided references to them before). I like sharing too

[mikahranae]

It doesn't bother me at all. If he wanted to be exclusive....he would have just stayed at home with his wife.