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shlub · 06-14-2012, 04:15 PM

So I am finding myself being sucked into some of the complexities of the hobby:

1. A provider I have seen a few times asked me for financial help. I am "pre paying" for a few sessions but at the same time consider the money to be gone along with her.

2. I am starting to have a favorite and find myself preferring to wait for her as opposed to continuing to distance myself with variety.

So, I'm being sucked in... Do I convince myself that I am in control / not being played? Do I take a hobby sabbatical?

How have you handled these types of situations?

boomvang · 06-14-2012, 04:27 PM

cuidado pendejo - said with a smile

Hercules · 06-14-2012, 04:31 PM

Learn your lessons the hard way then come here and try to educate those that refuse to listen...

~Ze~ · 06-14-2012, 04:35 PM

It is all in the process of learning what life means to you and how you want to approach it.

ShysterJon · 06-14-2012, 04:43 PM

I think there's a big difference between situation no. 1 and 2. NEVER prepay a provider. Just as you shouldn't expect a provider to play with you and get paid later, a provider shouldn't expect a hobbyist to pay in advance.

As for having a favorite, what's wrong with that? Quality over quantity, amigo.

shlub · 06-14-2012, 05:09 PM

thanks for the sage advice and responses...

#1 I have no expectations of service and I went into it thinking of it as charity. I just surprised myself that I allowed myself to care... I wonder if it will be spent on that which shall not be named or will it be for the professed purpose? I shouldn't care but I guess I dont want to be a shlub.

#2 Seeing other members freak out... or "not-retire" over a chic make me wonder if objectivity, like passion, becomes an illusion...

Ze's got a point... Time for introspection...

LoveNHorny · 06-14-2012, 05:12 PM

As usual, I find myself agreeing with SJon. These are two different experiences down the rabbit hole. But I'll reiterate in a different way.

#1. Don't prepay. It's that simple. You'd have to have the most supernatural trust and faith, and it doesn't exist. --->Unless, of course, you're cool with writing-off those bucks with no regret and no frustration, regardless of anything that could happen after.

#2: Fine. Go ahead. Follow your bliss. Just don't start thinking you want to refinance the house.

Now go take care of business.

TexasDave555 · 06-14-2012, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shlub

So I am finding myself being sucked into some of the complexities of the hobby:

1. A provider I have seen a few times asked me for financial help. I am "pre paying" for a few sessions but at the same time consider the money to be gone along with her.

2. I am starting to have a favorite and find myself preferring to wait for her as opposed to continuing to distance myself with variety.

So, I'm being sucked in... Do I convince myself that I am in control / not being played? Do I take a hobby sabbatical?

How have you handled these types of situations?

The approach I would take is to ask myself a few hard questions about WHY I hobby. Then assuming I could be completely honest with myself, go from there.

If you are hobbying purely for the sexual release and variations available, you are in trouble. If you are hobbying for the companionship, I would refer you to the sugar daddy post by Shyster and go that route instead.

I'd suggest a self imposed pussy ban... find out what you really are wanting to get out of this hobby then go from there.

shlub · 06-14-2012, 05:46 PM

Good points...thank you.

Release and variation have been my motives thus far but it seems that the more those are satisfied, the more I see other aspects, such as companionship, missing from RL and I look to fill it via the hobby as well.

You are right... I think I need to look at why I hobby "now" and go from there...

I will follow my bliss AND self impose a "pussy ban" on visits with other providers. By just seeing my favorite, I can better ascertain my reasons for hobbying. If I get bored with her, I will go back to partaking in variety. If I don't, I will know it is time for a sb or a sabbatical.

MUSHROOM MAN · 06-14-2012, 07:54 PM

I agree with everyone for the most part, but I actually sent airfare money to help one provider get home from Thailand. It wasnt a huge amount as I did not help with the entire amount, but it was several sessions worth. This certain provider paid me in full as soon as she got back to Dallas, on top of giving me one of the best sessions we had ever had. I really believe it is like loaning money to anyone else. I have a best friend and a brother that have never paid me back. I have met several providers that are such special woman I feel privileged to be asked for help from them. There was another one however that ask me to install a new water heater for a couple of sessions, never got them. People are people are people......................!! !!!!!
Hope it works out for you, I am betting that it does.

ShysterJon · 06-15-2012, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MUSHROOM MAN

I agree with everyone for the most part, but I actually sent airfare money to help one provider get home from Thailand. It wasnt a huge amount as I did not help with the entire amount, but it was several sessions worth. This certain provider paid me in full as soon as she got back to Dallas, on top of giving me one of the best sessions we had ever had. I really believe it is like loaning money to anyone else. I have a best friend and a brother that have never paid me back. I have met several providers that are such special woman I feel privileged to be asked for help from them. There was another one however that ask me to install a new water heater for a couple of sessions, never got them. People are people are people......................!! !!!!!
Hope it works out for you, I am betting that it does.

Well, one difference between loaning money to your brother or best friend and prepaying a provider for services is one is a legally-enforceable agreement and one is not. If you loan money to your brother, for example, and you have him sign a promissory note, if he doesn't pay you back you can sue him for breach of contract. If you prepay a provider, you cannot get relief from a court because the agreement for services is a contract with an illegal subject matter and therefore legally unenforceable. So it's inaccurate to say prepaying a provider is like loaning money to a civilian.

S-Man · 06-15-2012, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShysterJon

So it's inaccurate to say prepaying a provider is like loaning money to a civilian.

Unless he meant that one should loan money to friends and family only if the person does not expect to get the money back.

Back to the original post...
#1) You may be inclined to prepay until the first time you get burned when the person does not offer to fulfill her part of the bargain.

#2) As long as you use your head, there should be no issues continuing to see only one woman. The pursuit of variety entails dealing with lots of misses.

ShysterJon · 06-15-2012, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by S-Man

Unless he meant that one should loan money to friends and family only if the person does not expect to get the money back.

I wouldn't call that a loan. I'd call that a gift.

S-Man · 06-15-2012, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShysterJon

I wouldn't call that a loan. I'd call that a gift.

Exactly!

B.Wayne · 06-15-2012, 01:17 PM

Uhgh! All too familiar. I can understand finding one woman that just does it for you. If you like seeing her and you enjoy her company then you have got to keep some distance. I had to find that out the hard way. Now her and I no longer speak to eachother. If I had to do it all over again the only thing I would change is keeping a little more distance. That way you can still visit with her, talk to her and things but you have to limit it or things can get messed up, however they do say variety is the spice of life. Good luck.