Providers who refuse to give references

[Datura]

What's up with that kind of dysfunction? Do these women really think they are going to prevent a client from seeing someone else by not responding to a reference request?

There were a few women in the Bay Area who were ridiculously territorial that way, or even got angry if the guy wanted to see someone else. Which is pretty weird, because clients are not our SOs and they can see whomever they please without having to justify it (and vice versa, of course).

FWIW, I do let a prospective client know when the provider is reference-UNfriendly, so he can plan accordingly when he does need a reference to see someone. I just find it an incredibly weird and pointless dynamic for anyone in this business to be pulling on their clients (or fellow providers, for that matter).

[Hush of Texas]

+1... i always try to answer reference requests asap. However, i dont check pm's all day long. Ladies, its always best to shoot me a text. I will always get back with you quicker that way (unless it's in sleeping hours of course)

[Maxeen Monroe]

Girl, you are preaching to the choir on this one! I just got over one long ass rant about one in particular that did exactly as you are talking about! It is absolutely crass. I am doing exactly the something you're doing, I let my clients know who is UNfriendly.

[Britttany_love]

I just had the same thing done by the same girl... Cocked blocked.. Glad I'm not desperate.

[guest031012]

That just screams desperation to me.

[guest032413]

I love getting refrence requests, i like to see who my client is going to have a good time, its almost like a swingers circle, i think its hot. And i always respond asap, and then when the client comes to see me again he can tell me all about his kinky experiences. yay

[Guest062716]

When a lady, in general, will not provide references...... I think it is fair to note that charactersistic and to make your own choices with respect to the lady, as to how one will personally deal with it.

We all make choices in life (and the hobby) and no one is being judgemental here, but we each have the right to make individual choices with respect to dealing with how others routinely behave or portray themselves.

If it is, however, a particular hobbyist, for whom you are having trouble getting references, RUN, do not walk, to the nearest exit....... for the likelihood is that there is a known issue with the particular hobbyist..... and the ladies, for their personal reasons.... are not willing to put that issue out there (I would suspect, for fear of losing the client, losing other and/or future clients, or other reprisals....)

The truth of the matter is, that not all hobbyists are the same, not all providers are the same and we all have different tastes, different likes and dislikes.... and frankly, some of us will make a decision to not see a particular lady because she saw hobbyist so and so.

There is little risk for a lady to say "OldSarge is a perfect gentleman in every way and a great lover" ....

However, there is little benefit for a particular lady who says "Hobbyist XYZ is a bad person because he does ABC..."

So, I think it fair to note if a lady will not give referrals in general.... and that is a reflection on her choice.

I think it fair to note if you ladies cannot get a referral on a particular hobbyist..... and that is a reflection on HIS character........(REALLY? You thought the 3 $1 bills in the envelope were $100's? REALLY?)

Respectfully submitted,

OldSarge

[Gentleman]

Sarge, that is a take on the situation that I had not thought of. Thanks for the insight...

G

[cckid2006]

I do not care about ROS - I don't do reviews (except one which was rejected by the mods) - I do look at reviews, but I don't put any faith that what I am reading is true = I am seeing ladies that are UTR - and consider recommendations as totally worthless

[JohnBrown7]

I can understand why some women do not want to give references.

Just as with reviews, the more references one provides, the more one is exposed.

Some of us guys worry that a woman caught by LE would give LE our names if the deal was right, or, that our information would be harvested from a black book, computer, etc. Why shouldn't women (providing references) worry just the same?

As I said before, if a woman doesn't want to provide references, she doesn't have to, but (I think), she should make it known.

[Guest062716]

Originally Posted by JohnBrown7

Some of us guys worry that a woman caught by LE would give LE our names if the deal was right, or, that our information would be harvested from a black book, computer, etc.

Under Texas Penal code, Section 43.02...... in order for you to be charged with prostitution or soliciting you must knowingly....

(1) offer to engage, agree to engage, or engage in sexual conduct for a fee; or

(2) solicit another in a public place to engage with them in sexual conduct for hire.

This is why the "rules" about the "donation" are so important.......

A lady picked up by LE may be asked for info.... but seriously, there is nothing that any of my Indy lady friends can say that I worry about.... as you are simply in a "he said - she said" scenario....

Example:
LE: ok we busted you, now give us your last John and we will make it easy on you...

Provider: I saw some guy named OldSarge, we had sex and he left some cash.

LE: So he agreed to give you a fee for sexual services? What services did he ask for? What services did you agree to?

Provider: Well, he never really discussed sex or services......

LE: But he left you cash... What did he say when he left you the cash? Did he say, "here is a fee for the sexual services you agreed to provide?"

Provider: No, he actually didn't say anything about the cash, in fact the cash was not visible and he actually did not hand it to me, he actually left a closed envelope on the table over there.... and I did not actually pick it until he was out of the room....

LE: shit

Provider: I can give you a description of him and I think I know what kind of car he drives...

LE: shit.... look, even if you gave me his full name, rank and social security number.... we have nothing to charge him with..... shit...

EVIDENCE requires a witness......... and even if they get her to sign a statement that is damning..... and even if they were to somehow find me.... and question me... (won't happen)... my version (if I give one) will not include a "confession"..... without a third party witness or an audio/video tape with real "evidence" of a crime.... there is nothing that an Indy can say or do that I worry about.....

Now, info from an agency is a whole other bucket of worms..... it is relatively easy for LE to prove an agency is promoting prostitution and your info listed as a client is damning to say the least.... while you may beat the rap, you won't beat the ride.....

Originally Posted by JohnBrown7

As I said before, if a woman doesn't want to provide references, she doesn't have to, but (I think), she should make it known.

I agree, she does not HAVE to provide references and if she does not, should make that known to both hobbyist and providers.... as that is an exception to the expected behavor.

[JohnBrown7]

I hear what you're saying "Sarge". However, just as much damage can be done without an arrest. See http://eccie.net/showthread.php?t=323367.

LE, boyfriends, girlfriends, anyone who finds the info can use it maliciously.

BTW, I know you and I feel the same about a woman's prerogative to provide refs or not.

[DallasRain]

I think we as hobby sisters need to keep each other safe...I will always give a reference out in a timely and informative manner!

[Guest092815]

I think those who wont' provide references or those who "steal" appts, based upon a contact for a reference...those people are desperate. Pitiful, in fact.

But, I don't worry about them one whit. I think that those kind of people are desperately manipulative. I wouldn't trust what she would say as a reference anyway. And, I don't need anyone's BS involved in my decision making.

There are other ways to screen, so forget the losers who steal appts or won't give refs. Who needs their input anyway?

...and eventually, the not-nice provider will lose her clientele, and have fewer chances to hobby.

(Most of the gals here in Austin are happy to help if I contact them for a reference...and thank you, ladies!! We are a pretty good group here in Austin, I have always thought)

[Madison May]

the only way we are going to keep each other safe is giving references