No reaction to SE (maybe s/b "How do you rub a pussy?")

[Sir Lancehernot]

Every now and again, during a bodyrub session, I'll have the opportunity to do a little southern exploration. Usually, my explorations don't provoke much of a reaction, a source of disappointment and frustration for me. I don't expect her to be so turned on by my attention that she decides she must have me inside her (NOW!), but it's obvious that what I'm doing isn't nearly as pleasing to her as what she's doing to me.

Is it physiology, or am I doing something wrong? More to the point, if my goal is not merely to sniff my hand all the way home, but instead to try to bring her some pleasure, how what should I be doing?

[Daen1304]

The term different strokes for different folks is nokt just for guys. What get's one woman going may or may not get another going. Some get pleasure from a stiff wind. Some need a rough touch, some a gentle. Some need to be carassed all over, others you need to focus on that spot behind their left ear. Women don't come off a factoy line and they are complex.

[daty/o]

Men's fingers can be callous and rough and irritate the sensitive skin between the soft folds of her labia. Cover you hand with a soft, well worn $100 bill and she will get very excited.

[Daen1304]

Originally Posted by eccl3

Men's fingers can be callous and rough and irritate the sensitive skin between the soft folds of her labia. Cover you hand with a soft, well worn $100 bill and she will get very excited.

I talked to a stripper who told me she slapped a customer for trying to stick money there. Make sure to wash is first and then message the bill with lotion.

[pyramider]

Do not go straight for the goodies. Lightly touch the leg, start low and move higher. Just tease them a bit with a gentle touch.

[ElisabethWhispers]

Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

Every now and again, during a bodyrub session, I'll have the opportunity to do a little southern exploration. Usually, my explorations don't provoke much of a reaction, a source of disappointment and frustration for me. I don't expect her to be so turned on by my attention that she decides she must have me inside her (NOW!), but it's obvious that what I'm doing isn't nearly as pleasing to her as what she's doing to me.

Is it physiology, or am I doing something wrong? More to the point, if my goal is not merely to sniff my hand all the way home, but instead to try to bring her some pleasure, how what should I be doing?

This is a very good question. Many men just want to touch a woman and they just don't understand that touching and fondling when it's dry down there doesn't work very well for some of us.

Then they might say, "I'll MAKE you wet". When I hear this, I just (inside) roll my eyes. If a woman is older, sometimes she can be really turned on and she just isn't going to GET wet.

It's a mechanical nuisance but it's one of those aging things. And it's important to use lube. And saliva isn't lube!!!

Some guys think that GRINDING their fingers on top of the clit is erotic for a woman. Not all women!!! For example, some women like for you to suck on their clit during oral. Some women will scream if you do that (Elisabeth raises her hand!).

So, within the context of this question, if some woman was giving a man a massage and he reached down to fondle her, well .. she's giving a massage. She's working! It's different if you're in bed with her, I'm sure.

Since this question is more pertinent to men getting a massage, it'll be nice to get responses from women who do a lot of massage. I DO messages and have a table, etc., but it's not the mainstay of my business.

Some men will do the same thing every time that they're with a woman. And it's such a drag. They kiss the same. The eat pussy the same, etc. I know this to be true because sometimes we will compare notes. Especially if we like the guy!

IF men would realize that every single woman is different and they respond to different things, then the success rate of playing around and having a positive response would be higher.

Touch around her "down there". If she starts to wiggle when you hit a certain spot...stay around there. If she tells you to do something different and she's responding ... do NOT do what 98% of the men do ... they will do that little different thing FOR JUST A FEW MOMENTS and then GO RIGHT BACK TO WHAT THEY WERE DOING BEFORE.

For whatever reason, many men don't know how to vary their lovemaking routine. The ones that do? Well, they're instant members of my "Rule of 54" club.

And it's a very hard club to get into!!!

Hope this helps!

Elisabeth

[aRandyOne]

Originally Posted by ElisabethWhispers

For example, some women like for you to suck on their clit during oral. Some women will scream if you do that (Elisabeth raises her hand!).

Scream good or scream bad?

[ElisabethWhispers]

Originally Posted by aRandyOne

Scream good or scream bad?

Like 'smack you on the top of your head while yelping' bad. LOL.

[HoneyRose]

Forget the finger. Use your tongue.

[Guest091314]

the only thing I cant stand is if you go straight for it....its just annoying.

Especially when Im dry and someone keeps thinking if they rub harder I will get wet...so wrong.

[ElisabethWhispers]

Originally Posted by Anastasia Roberts

...

Especially when Im dry and someone keeps thinking if they rub harder I will get wet...so wrong.

It's so nice to see someone younger complain about this!!! So true!

[Guest091314]

oh and for the record....WHICHEVER man started the rumor that its good to nibble clits should report to me so I can slap the shit out of him.

[ElisabethWhispers]

Anastasia,

The reason why men do what they do is often because if idiot "how to's" such as this topic:

http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=5134

In this "how to" topic, it's supposedly de rigueur to suck and nibble a woman's clit. If she moves or moans, whether it's a painful activity or not, you should go harder and faster.

Some of what she has written and presented is alright. Much of the mechanics is really off base for many (if not most) of us. And some of her advice is just wrong on many levels.

Sadly, men are really willing to try anything and read an informative anything about this type of activity. But with WRONG information, guys just barrel ahead clueless.

There is also a chapter in the bestselling "The 4 Hour Body: An uncommon guide to ...etc." that tells men how to give oral sex by the author, Tim Ferriss. He gives some of the worst advice that I've ever read.

It's a fairly good book otherwise, but every time that I think of what he has written to advise men, I just wish to bitch slap him into the Mississippi River.

Hugs,
Elisabeth

[Guest091314]

I love reading those "how to please your man articles because half the crap on there is wrong...but back to the OP.

Just cruise along with light touching...

Alot do not think of the other ways to get the womans motor running...such as there is one tiny little spot along my neck that if its lightly bitten I can almost have an orgasm if done right...but I bet its not the same for elizabeth, jane, dick or sally

[Vitruvian]

Every single woman is different. Start by paying attention to her signals, then develop a "checklist" and start at number one and see if it works. Mark off the ones she doesn't respond to. Remember the ones she likes. Orr..cheat. Have her tell/guide you.

Doesn't really help in a massage setting, but then....I only get "legitimate" ones. Like Elizabeth said though, rubbing when it's dry is just....bad. Stoke other things first, talk dirty, compliment her, get her flowing then it's game on.