Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Everywhere is within walking distance . . . if you've got the time.
Some people are like Slinkies -- not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, yet check when you say the paint is wet?
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
You do not need a parachute to skydive; you only need a parachute to skydive
twice.
Always borrow money from a pessimist -- he won't expect it back.
Some cause happiness wherever they go, others
whenever they go.
I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.
I always take life with a grain of salt ... plus a slice of lemon ... and a shot of tequila.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and then call whatever you hit the target.
Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
These are from Will Rogers:
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.
Favorite/funny Quotes
My Bio Page - Kansas City Metro
