I thought this was pretty funny, maybe you'll get a chuckle too.
Ex-wife texted me a while ago and asked if I have plans for tomorrow night.  The divorce was kind of nasty, but several years ago and we've been on a friendly basis since and talk frequently.  She has hinted several times that she wants a fuck buddy, but our schedules have just never worked out.
Following is the texts we exchanged.
- From her:  My son is going to a friend's house to spend the night and play video games all night.  This will be the first time he's been gone in months.  I intend to buy a bottle of mai tai's, put on jammies and watch movies.  Are you interested in joining me?
 
- My reply:  Ok, it's $100/hr for my time or if you want we can make a deal.  I am not offering sexual services for money. Anything that happens is strictly between two consenting adults.  Are you affiliated with law enforcement in any way?
- Her:  (she owns a legitimate real world business)  Neighbor is a cop?  I'll waive my normal fees due my company if you'll waive yours?
LMFAO I guess I'm getting laid tomorrow night.  
 
  
 