Definition of "Newbie Friendly"

[Scarlet O'Shea]

So I bill myself as a newbie friendly provider because I don't mind doing the research and bringing some fresh blood into this fetid pool of human depravity. So first off you ask, what is a newbie? To my understanding, it is someone with no references, no reviews, and in theory, a hobby virgin. I've had several messages in the last few weeks from gentleman in this predicament, looking to be accepted.

So I reply with my standard alternate screening message, saying that I will need some personal information before the visit. I've been doing this for months, and I daresay I'm not the only newbie friendly provider who requires a bit of ID for new clients. Prior to this, I had a handful who would balk at the information, but most complied.

But how many of this newbies did I actually see? Not a one. A couple just never even messaged back, and one even quipped, "what do you need all that for, you're newbie friendly?"

I suspect that there are men on this board who've never given their name out because back in the day it wasn't necessary and so perhaps I am at fault in this modern age of information, but best as I can tell, the process for a newbie is to give up that info once to a legit provider, and then in theory, she can be a reference and then the references continue normally.

But has something changed in the Austin hobby culture that I'm just supposed to open my door to anyone? Has that become acceptable? I know that's expected from the regulars of BP, but we have new male ECCIE members treating us like BP girls and there must not be too much backlash if these guys are still expectant.

I understand that no matter how trustworthy I am on paper, that some guys just aren't going to trust me or anyone else. It's irrational, but I understand it. But not everyone is that paranoid, so to take their safety for granted while not offering me any assurances for mine just isn't acceptable.

So ladies, how do you treat your newbies?
And gents, what were your experiences back in the day as newbies?

[chelseabean]

I think there is a misconception that newbie friendly means no screening. I get that often. I just move on if they don't want to share personal information. I certainly understand gentlemen being hesitant to do that, but it doesn't affect what I do in any way.

[chelseabean]

Effect. My bad

[Luvdatpuddy]

Well, my perspective on this is rather different than most. From what I can see (and I'm probably missing some), there are a few "guy" perspectives:

1) Screen everyone, screen hard - typically, the guys that push this are the more established members who know that they'll have zero problems passing and will get to see anyone they like.

2) Light screening - by this, I'm talking about a light check - if you've seen so-and-so, and have posted a review, the lady might reach out to them to do a check prior to accepting an appointment. No real issue there, as it's a rather "non-invasive" check. No real world info is out there.

3) No screening - honestly, and I'm not trying to stir up any controversy, but this is my way of looking at it (or light screening, which is non-invasive). Why? I kind of view it as the same type of situation where I'm contracting someone for any services (plumbers, electricians, etc. - any form of skilled labor). It's on me to do my research to figure out who offers the right services at the right prices. But once that is done, I'm the client, and money talks. You can make the argument that "well, they know where you live when you sign a sales order", which is true...but at that point, I also know where they make their money, and can contact the BBB if they screw me over - a level of security that doesn't exist when a lady can just check out of a hotel room and leave town.

Run your business how you see fit, of course, but I definitely fit into the bucket of "I won't give my real world info out to anyone". There have been quite a few well known instances of outing of the last year, some involving ladies that I would never have expected it of. So, if I'm looking at it from my perspective - the only way to keep myself "safe" is to never give it out.

Does this mean that my options are severely limited? - absolutely, and it sucks. And unfortunately, most of my reviews are rather old (most people always point out "recent references"), so it is what it is.

I can see the ladies' point as well - how do I keep myself safe if I don't "have something" on you (either a reference or real info), and it's a poser. But from my side, I have no idea if I'm about to walk into an ambush, get cash and dashed, find the lady isn't the one I thought, etc. - so there's risk on both sides.

To answer the original question (I think - I wander) - back in ASPD days, screening seemed to be very unusual - or it was so "back end" that I never saw it. I'd usually get to see anyone I wanted just by setting up a mutually agreed upon time.

[Mia Christine]

Whenever I PM an new Gentleman our Newbie Friendly List, I always include (or a slight variation of) the phrase "All of the Ladies below have confirmed that they are indeed newbie friendly and/or employ alternative screening methods". I just realized I had omitted that sentence from the main list found in CoEd. I went ahead and made that change. I don't know if it will assist both Ladies and Gentleman in their expectations, but Gentleman will be better informed.

If you would indulge me in a side note to the topic at hand.... I receive the kinds of emails the OP mentioned as well. I'm positive we all do at one point or another. Two months ago, I was absolutely God smacked, to receive an accusation of kickbacks. As if all of the Ladies pay me a monthly fee to compile and maintain this list. Thinly veiled, of course. Absolutely untrue. I compiled and maintain this list not only as a service to the board, our Newbies, the Ladies on and off of the list, but to offer it to the Gentleman who request time with me, and unfortunately, lack the verifiable references.

We all have our requirements. If you meet them... Wonderful! If not, I'm very sorry to disappoint you. Let me offer you an alternative... Contact a Lady or two off of our Newbie Friendly List! Once you can provide the necessary references, I hope you will reach out to me again.

If a Lady requires information you're uncomfortable providing, then don't do it. Say thank you very much, and move on to your next option. Or, think about an investment in P411.

[Blue_eyed_shy_guy]

I've never given an individual lady my full RW ID info, but that's mainly b/c I'm a P411 member and make most of my appointments on that system. I can understand guys' reluctance to hand off RW info, though. Most are afraid of the consequences of a hobby relationship going sour, or their ID info getting in the hands of a third party with ill intent despite the provider's efforts at maintaining information security.

No 'system' for security is absolute, but there's always a few measures that can be used in combination for a reasonable level of assurance. In my case, paying for a service located outside US law enforcement jurisdiction a yearly fee that's less than a HH GFE session seems quite reasonable. Making a 'hobby ID' from an old expired state ID or driver's license helps too.

Guys, you don't need to give your full RW info to every provider. Simply providing enough for her to verify that you're this person with this record of not being a dine-n-dash rapist axe murderer with a dead provider in the trunk of your stolen car will work just fine.

[David.Douchehurst]

Originally Posted by Blue_eyed_shy_guy

Guys, you don't need to give your full RW info to every provider. Simply providing enough for her to verify that you're this person with this record of not being a dine-n-dash rapist axe murderer with a dead provider in the trunk of your stolen car will work just fine.

But whut if'n yew are, but yer a reel good liar and you've got Mr. Wolf on yer speed-dial?

[Blue_eyed_shy_guy]

DD, everyone knows that someone who's got Mr. Wolf on speed dial also has a fake ID person in their hobby phone directory as well.

This is where alternate screening methods come into play. Truth serum, lie detectors, secret CIA interrogation techniques (documented in books available at your local library!)..

[David.Douchehurst]

Lie-brarie? Git wif tha program, son! E'erbuddy uses Google nowadays!

[tzv13]

David D doesn't need any books on the CIA. He is the CIA.

[David.Douchehurst]

Damned strait!

[Zhivago52]

Someone new to the hobby with no references.

[TemptationTammie]

I do ask for some real world info, however I do not share it.
It is for our safety to screen. When I searched for one guy, he came up as having a drug arrest and sex offender. I did not see this guy because I don't deal with drugs in any way.

[Luvdatpuddy]

Originally Posted by Mia Christine

If a Lady requires information you're uncomfortable providing, then don't do it. Say thank you very much, and move on to your next option. Or, think about an investment in P411.

Totally agree - run your business as you choose. However, there are often threads that crop up (not this one) from time to time asking "why do people still look on BP?". For some of us, that's our only real option, even with the increased risk.

[Claire She Blows]

I get newbie requests all the time - and a good amount of them scoff at giving up personal info or never reply.

To all newbies reading this: if you're not prepared to give me some personal information, please don't waste my time.