No connection and how to prevent it.

[skbinks]

I posted this in another thread and was told it needed it's own thread since it was too off topic. (And the mod was right)

Hypothetical situation. I'm using BDSM as an example but the answer would work for any specific question. Some providers list BDSM along with other things. Maybe there is one that I really would like to meet but I am not into BDSM. Some of her reviews don't mention anything about it. I can't ask her in an email, phone or text if she can also be (not sure if this is the right wording) the girl next door type too.

Since I am also a newbie, my understanding is that if I asked a question like that in a PM, I would probably get ignored. Since I can't ask her ahead of time and we meet and I find that her place is filled with BDSM stuff, that might be a turn off to me so no connection between me and the provider and I might not want to stay. I agree that I should pay her for her time whether it be a partial or full payment. Basically how can someone avoid that situation and loss of money without scaring off the provider all together by asking her outright since I can't seem to be able to word it a way that won't get me ignored in an email, text, call, or pm? Personally, I wouldn't blame her in this situation. You never know, there might be a time in the future that I DO want to experiment with it.

Note: Yes I reworded this a little from original so it "might" make since as a standalone question.

[JRLawrence]

Originally Posted by skbinks

I posted this in another thread and was told it needed it's own thread since it was too off topic. (And the mod was right)

Hypothetical situation. I'm using BDSM as an example but the answer would work for any specific question. Some providers list BDSM along with other things. Maybe there is one that I really would like to meet but I am not into BDSM. Some of her reviews don't mention anything about it. I can't ask her in an email, phone or text if she can also be (not sure if this is the right wording) the girl next door type too.

Since I am also a newbie, my understanding is that if I asked a question like that in a PM, I would probably get ignored. Since I can't ask her ahead of time and we meet and I find that her place is filled with BDSM stuff, that might be a turn off to me so no connection between me and the provider and I might not want to stay. I agree that I should pay her for her time whether it be a partial or full payment. Basically how can someone avoid that situation and loss of money without scaring off the provider all together by asking her outright since I can't seem to be able to word it a way that won't get me ignored in an email, text, call, or pm? Personally, I wouldn't blame her in this situation. You never know, there might be a time in the future that I DO want to experiment with it.

Note: Yes I reworded this a little from original so it "might" make since as a standalone question.

You have your answer in your own posting. If some of the reviews do not mention BDSM, you statement implies that other reviews do mention BDSM.

Well, if this is correct, you have your answer: don't see her. You did your homework, you just don't accept the results.

There is a cute lady that have had good reviews. OK, I like that.
Look closely at some of the pictures she has posted and notice how dirty the hands and wrists are. OK, good reviews, but she needs to wash before having a picture taken. Result, she goes in the do not see folder.

There a lot of ways to gain information, just pay attention to what the situation is and not to what you want it to be.

JR

[JayceeRivers]

If a lady offers BDSM but does not advertise herself as a strict dominatrix/submissive, you will not likely be confronted with items of that nature without requesting it in advance.

However it is best that, in your research, you look for women who fit what you are seeking. If 5 out of 6 reviews are "girl next door" then she is likely going to default to a girl next door like date. If 5 out of 6 reviews are BDSM oriented she may likely default to Dominatrix or Submissive.

I don't think a woman would be offended if you made a subtle mention in regards to seeking a date that is more romantic inclined or GFE oriented.