Need input from both guys and gals

[Racerunner]

After 20 successful and enjoyable years in the hobby, I have encountered a situation that I have never encountered before, and I need input from both guys and gals on how best to handle it. I tend to stay far under the radar and rarely even post reviews unless asked specifically to do so.

I will do my best to be as neutral and honest in my description of the events as I can be. I will also be as specific as possible while still trying to protect the identities of the other parties because it is not my intent to call someone out or hurt anyone.

Here goes:

There was a provider whom I saw while she was with an agency. She later went out independent. I continued to see her as an independent and also saw girls from the agency. I had no problems with either. I believed I had a good relationship with the agency and saw nothing to the contrary. I saw four or five different girls from the agency and I was unaware of any problems.

Regarding the independent provider, when she first went out on her own, we agreed on a rate. I saw her several times at that rate. Also, at her request, we bartered my professional services for something she needed using the same rate. When I would see her for an incall, we used the home of a good friend of mine who, years ago, had been a provider. This arrangement worked well and there were no objections from anyone. This provider had even recently referred me to someone else when she was out of town and agreed to be a reference for me.

I had not seen the independent provider in a number of months as she had been out of town part of the time and our schedules didn't match up other times. We were finally able to meet up recently, using the same location we had used previously. That appointment, in terms of services and duration and all other aspects, was practically identical to the other sessions we'd had at the same location.

At the conclusion of the appointment, I paid the rate that I had always paid and thought nothing more about it. I had my own arrangement with the owner. I later found out that the provider had tipped the owner for use of the premises without being asked to do so.

The next day, I received a text accusing me of "shorting" her and telling me she wouldn't ever see me again. I was baffled and responded that I had no idea what she was talking about, that I had paid the same rate we had agreed to. She asked what agreement I was referring to. I detailed where we were and what was said. Other than that conversation, we have never discussed her rates at any other time that I can recall. She first said her rates had never been that low, then said that if see agreed to that rate it was for some public time together on that particular occasion for part of our appointment. I responded that I had paid that rate at other times as well in the same situation and that was the basis for our barter as well. She said that her rates were posted on her website and that I should have known what they were. But the only time I had ever looked at her site as an independent was when she said she had taken new pictures. I was in a hurry and looked only at the pictures. I didn't look at her contact info, rates or other info because I was limited on time and I already knew it, or so I thought. That was the only time I ever went to her site. I reiterated that I had no intention of shorting her and apologized if she thought I had.

I finally looked up her rates on her site and discovered that her posted rate was 60% more than our agreed rate. I texted back and offered to pay her the difference, again pointing out that it was an honest mistake and I had no idea she had raised her rates. So far I have no response, but it's only been a couple of hours. I am still hoping to hear back from her.

Then today, I tried to schedule an appointment with her former agency. I specifically asked about two particular girls, and was surprised to be told that I was now on the DNS list for the two ladies I requested. When I asked why, I was told that the girls had given no reason, and that they just said that they "preferred" not to see me any more. I was asked if there was anyone else I'd like to see and I inquired about a couple of girls whom I had not seen before. I received no response after several hours.

One of the girls who supposedly put me on her DNS list had even made a point of telling me that she was looking forward to seeing me again at the conclusion of our last appointment together. I thought we'd had a lot of fun and based on our conversation and activities I also thought we had very similar and complimentary tastes in activities. I can think of nothing I did that would have resulted in a DNS. I always respect a lady's rules and presume that if she agrees to provide a particular service that I request that it means that she is okay with providing that service or engaging in that activity. If she says she doesn't do this or that, I take that at face value and would never take it negatively that a lady has such rules or limits. That said, I do have some creative, non-vanilla requests sometimes but take it that a no means no and I always proceed with an appointment within the boundaries agreed to. I make that clear from the get-go.

The only thing I can think of is that the now-independent provider has told her old agency, or at least certain girls in that agency, that I shorted her and she is trying to get me blackballed. I do not know that for sure, but absent any other information that is the only conclusion I can draw. The now-independent provider ended one of her texts by saying "good luck", which I now take to mean "good luck seeing any more girls".

I have contacted the agency and told them that, given the DNS by two providers and the lack of response to my inquiry about two other girls, I would assume that my business was no longer wanted and that, while I was baffled by it, I would respect it and wished them the best. Up until this time, the agency had been good to me and I harbor no ill feelings for them doing what they think is prudent, even if it is based on inaccurate information.

I don't even maintain a P411 or similar account because I have always relied on my reputation with other providers and references. I am not a high-volume hobbyist but I certainly enjoy the occasional stress relief and having a fun outlet. I have been around a long time and believed I had a good reputation with the providers I've seen. Now, that appears in jeopardy.

Does anyone have any suggestions? Am I just out of luck? I can't think of any more to do than I've already done, which is to apologize and offer pay the now independent provider the difference between what I thought I owed and her posted rates. I've just never had this kind of experience before.

[growler]

I think you have stated your case very well. My opinion based on what you have layed out is she was aware of the nature of the arrangement...you weren't a new client after all. If she wanted to change the terms, it's her responsibility to let you know before hand not after. Making it your choice to continue. I'll view it as her loss and move on.......AS each door closes another opens.

[Allie_Kat]

There are plenty of fish in the sea, I would cut your losses and move on. I'm sorry that happened to you hun.

[Mr. Crowley]

Just as other relationships in our lives change, evolve or end, this one might be over. This one in particular has been a business relationship and over a period of time, there are circumstances that cause us to move on.

If you are a believer in Karma, pay her the difference, let it set awhile and who knows... maybe there will be a reconciliation. If not, like all new endeavors, particularly personal relationships, the thrill of the new may remove any regret you may feel now.

In the interim, as you wait for possible reconciliation, there are more than a few "distractions" on this board that will occupy your ... mind, yeah, that's it, mind.

There is too little time alotted to us in this life to spend too much time in our own heads, worrying, regretting or holding grudges.

[Racerunner]

Originally Posted by Mr. Crowley

Just as other relationships in our lives change, evolve or end, this one might be over. This one in particular has been a business relationship and over a period of time, there are circumstances that cause us to move on.

If you are a believer in Karma, pay her the difference, let it set awhile and who knows... maybe there will be a reconciliation. If not, like all new endeavors, particularly personal relationships, the thrill of the new may remove any regret you may feel now.

In the interim, as you wait for possible reconciliation, there are more than a few "distractions" on this board that will occupy your ... mind, yeah, that's it, mind.

There is too little time alotted to us in this life to spend too much time in our own heads, worrying, regretting or holding grudges.

I completely agree, and I won't waste time looking back. The loss of the provider(s) doesn't bother me as much as the assertion that I "shorted" her and the fact that others have chosen to believe it.

Ah, well, that's life. So . . . what lucky provider wants to console me and make it all better?

[vitokc]

Move on, there are too many providers to be hung up on one agency. Just my opinion, when you barter, include others in the arrangement, it can cause problems. When you keep the arrangement professional, money for services or products, that generally works best. If you're unhappy you move on. It's not as personal.

[EnticingFlavors]

Tried calling you once and sent two texts.

"'shorted' her and the fact that others have chosen to believe it" is inaccurate.

Three ladies with us have requested to not meet with you, and it has nothing to do with you being short on funds. I do know the one and only time you were short, you offered to make that up to the lady.

If you would like to discuss this further, feel free to call or text or email me anytime 9:00am to 7:00pm, Monday through Friday.

[6ULDV8]

U won't win this one buddy. No reason to try to salvage it either in MHO. Setting the need for drama aside, 99.9% of the time it's all about the money in this hobby. Move on.

[6ULDV8]

Originally Posted by Mr. Crowley

"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats" - H.L. Mencken .

That is the coolest fuc n quote.

[Allie_Kat]

Originally Posted by Racerunner

Ah, well, that's life. So . . . what lucky provider wants to console me and make it all better?

I believe there are quite a few of us who would be willing to do that.

[Guest010418]

AHRRR...that is a mighty quote. Plus I agree with everyone. You won't win by more discussion. Move on and try to forget it.

[perpetualdesign]

Originally Posted by Racerunner

I completely agree, and I won't waste time looking back. The loss of the provider(s) doesn't bother me as much as the assertion that I "shorted" her and the fact that others have chosen to believe it.

Ah, well, that's life. So . . . what lucky provider wants to console me and make it all better?

It sounds as though it could be that the "others" convinced her that you shorted her, possibly because they thought she was working too cheap. If they get her to put an end to that, then the prices they charge aren't so high.
One foot in front of the other will get you back in the race, runner!
I recommend you see someone with balance. Like maybe the balance of an Allie Kat!