I Know She Has Murder Herpes Or Black Gonorrhea What Do I Do?!?

[Dharma]

I've had this question for quite a while and seeing the sad thread of a hobbyist who has herpes made me decide to finally ask the question.

Yes, I said I've wondered for a while and I have several reasons for NOT asking until now. The chief reason being that some hobbyists will say that I'm jealous of younger providers or I'm mental or something. I'm definitely not jealous of anyone. I might be slightly mental but that's beside the point. There other reasons are centered around the delicacy of this subject.

When a hobbyist suspects that a provider has a communicable disease, no matter what the rules say, y'all talk about it. I've never seen an outright thread accusing a provider of having murder herpes (fictional strain of herpes). But surely, it's discussed in hushed tones in the back somewhere.

But what if a provider knows for a fact that another provider,( we'll call her Murder Herpes Mary) , has an STD? Let's say that MHM not only has at least one std but is aware of it and takes no precautions to prevent/limit transmission? What if she doesn't require her clients use protection because in her words, she doesn't want them to think that something is wrong? What if, and I do mean this, what if she has something that's curable but won't take her meds for whatever fucked up, bullshit reason?

The health department states that if a client engages in "that kind" of activity, he basically deserves what he gets. So my question to the community is this. What is the correct course of action? A post? A few well placed informative conversations to the more gossipy members? Putting a provider on "the blast" isn't productive. Especially if MHM isn't a member where "the blast" is written.

I know, we're all outraged of course and I'm not remotely alluding to knowing who may have given anyone herpes. This truly is a separate thread. I do want to hear what you all think. What are your ideas? Solutions? Suggestions? Jokes? We all want to be safe.

[Guest112814]

I like the idea of you sharing via PM, starting with me . Privacy guaranteed.

This is a BIG deal and if she doesn't care about keeping herself safe, let alone others, that those of us that would like to make an informed decision can.

[oldbutstillgoing]

You cannot post about anyone's health issues here. Period. If you want to p.m. someone do so but anything else isn't allowed not in any forum. And no, we do not discuss it in a thread. Those get edited as soon as they get caught

[threepeckeredbillygoat]

I would certainly want to know if someone I might be wanting to see had something, but at the same time it's easy enough to understand why they won't let people just put it out there for the world to read. Every pissing match would end up with "so and so has blank" even if it wasn't true.

But again yea, I would want to know if anyone had anything, if I had a crystal ball.

I would gladly accept a PM, my crystal ball broke. My word I wouldn't ever let out I knew or anyone told me, and I am a man of my word. Some people do still hold honor in their word.

[Caseykassum]

Full agreement on the pm route. Besides board rules.. putting info in public has proven to bring out the WK, assh*les, and resident dumba$$es as color commentators. DATY becomes a liability even when all else is covered when dealing with the wrong girl.

[Guest092316]

But who is to say that the op isnt just mad at or is trying to get back at said person for some unknown reason? Pming someone is all fine and good. But should you always believe it? Just sayin...

[Guest070818-1]

Demand some paperwork.

[SweaterPuppies]

Is this going to turn into a "Murder Herpes Mystery Party"?

If so, count me in. Who Dunnit?!!?!? PM me, I won't tell

[Dharma]

I appreciate all these responses. While I respect folks wanting to know, I genuinely want a discussion about "what to do". I've been around long enough for folks to know that I'm not vindictive or petty. If someone wrongs me, I know how to handle it in a mature fashion. I don't bring it to an inappropriate venue. My hands are full with my own life and I don't have time or the inclination to fool around in someone else's.

I have seen paper on it. My mother always said "don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see". I have found that to be very good advice. Having seen it, it's bothered me because she is in the hobby. I do what I can to not share her client list although, the chances of that are small. She's a very different type from me.

I know that outright discussions about provider "X" are forbidden here. And I know that the first thing to come to mind is that it's personal. But, it's not personal. I have pondered this for a while. But let's say there are others that someone else may know of. What are they do to? While we all roll the dice, is there a way to improve our odds of winning? Is there a way to share accurate information of a delicate nature without ruining the reputations of people who play safe and are healthy? Other than PM's, I mean.

[oldbutstillgoing]

Dharma, about all you can do is contact any guys you see that have reviewed her. All you can do is pass on information. Its up to others to decide what values to assign to your words. Keep in mind if you do PM guys she has seen or post that they plan to see her, word will get back to her so be prepared for the resulting fireworks.

I would like to know this kind of information. But, the bottom line responsibility is mine. I have to assume every woman I see has something. I research things like transmission methods and rates. I have to manage my risks as best I can and to a level I am comfortable. I know there are wackos out there that not only don't care about spreading things but actively go about doing so. I research hard. I require that any lady I see meet me socially first. I do many things to control my risks. The worst that has happened to me is a case of chlamydia 30 years ago. Yet I know things can happen each and every time I see a lady no matter how well I know her or how many times I have seen her or how careful I am.

Your heart and intentions seem in the right place. But consider the worst case of what can happen if you open this can of worms. Sometimes, despite what we know is the right thing to do is, the best course is to stay out of it.

[broes]

Everybody on this board should assume that everybody on this board has the herp and act accordingly. Pretty easy stuff.

[skydiver]

On a related note, there's plenty of veiled mentions of things we cannot talk about. I think it's punishable due to the "speculation" aspect, just as health concerns are. But what if we have actual knowledge about it? Hell, I've gone to a session where a provider was bumpin' rails before we started and it caught me off guard. I think people should be able to know about that kind of stuff, provided a user has actual knowledge about it. I dunno...

[oldbutstillgoing]

Originally Posted by skydiver

On a related note, there's plenty of veiled mentions of things we cannot talk about. I think it's punishable due to the "speculation" aspect, just as health concerns are. But what if we have actual knowledge about it? Hell, I've gone to a session where a provider was bumpin' rails before we started and it caught me off guard. I think people should be able to know about that kind of stuff, provided a user has actual knowledge about it. I dunno...

The answer remains the same. You may not post about someone else's health issues. Period. How do you prove its not speculation or out and out lies? Only the person with the issue has the right to discuss their own health. It may not always seem the best thing but it is what it is and prevents a hell of a lot of abuse.

[TexTushHog]

While I understand the reasons for the no STD rule -- the potential for false and malicious allegations hurting business and reputations -- I think on balance, it would be better not to have the rule. If we didn't, we would develop procedures to clear up false allegations.

[golfertexas]

PM me would like to protect myself from possible infection the risk is high enough i know but a possible positive is something i would like to ovoid .