Remedial Hooking: 101

[Toyz]

I took about a year off to attend to some personal matters in my civvie life & came back to such a mess in the ATX hobby scene. Rates escalating through the roof, Tuna Twat outbreaks, RockerRick permanently banned, Pussy Mafia running amok & out of control, Celebrity Hoogars, Homer in Love...WTF ATX?

So, if there is enough of a need, I will offer to provide TOYZ REMEDIAL HOOKING CLASSES....{{{Previously titled "So you wanna be a Ho"?}}}

I will offer one free class tonight, but wanted to clue you in on some of the topics you could see in future editions...

1. Tuna Twat..."What is that fucking SMELL"? You'll learn how to wash, clean & make that snatch as fragrant as a spring day after a rain...
2. Hoogar Math... I'll teach you the meaning of such terms as "Addition, Subtraction, how to tell how many hooking days are left until the eviction notice is hung on your door
3. The Art of Laundry...Learn how to get those stubborn stains out of your sheets...or even how to basically do a load of towels
4. How to Properly Fake an Orgasm...My co-teacher for this edition is none other than local legend Rosie Daie..."OH JESS>>>>OH JESS" {{{Who the fuck is Jess"?

Tonights lesson is on currency, or how to determine if you are getting the donation you agreed to.

THIS IS NOT REAL...so endeth the lesson.

[Beagle]

I'm gonna print out that 100 bill and use it. Looks legit.....

[Claire She Blows]

Tuna twat!

[Guest031715-1]

Speaking of morality...

Ass.

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by Electricfeelnow

Speaking of morality...

Ass.

EFN,

if you can't see the tongue in cheek style of what I am trying to do here then you have some agenda.

This was totally in jest & poking fun at the hobby. If you for a minute think I am being serious, wow.

You seriously need to adjust your attitude and start having more fun...you are coming off like some jaded hoogar in the majority of your posts, and I KNOW that is not you. Or at least I hope its not.

Bitch...

[Guest031715-1]

No matter how you meant it, it's offensive to the ladies you are trying to have fun with. I never thought you were actually serious with the ad, that was obviously a joke, but that doesn't mean the things you "joked" about or meant as joke isn't offensive and degrading to providers/women as a whole.

I don't much appreciate being called a ho or a hooker...no matter how funny you or others are trying to be.

[Guest031715-1]

Well, unless we're playing in session and you're allowed to degrade and disrespect me...then we're okay...ya wang

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by Electricfeelnow

Well, unless we're playing in session and you're allowed to degrade and disrespect me...then we're okay...ya wang

First off I NEVER degrade a girl "in session" in fact I consider the word "session" to be degrading... I've always referred to it as "a visit". And YOU KNOW I'm a perfect gentlemen behind closed doors...

As to the hoogar reference. There is a movie called "Longriders" where David Carradines character is visiting Belle Star...and there is an obvious attraction outside the "hobby". Belle says to him "Why dont you take me away from all this and make me an honest woman".

He to she "because youre a whore...you'll always be a whore..
That's why I like ya".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJWzfGh3Ros

[douglas_m]

ElectricFeel,
You may not have noticed that ToYz lesson list was simply a response to the most recent threads dealing with these subjects in this Coed section. His post was funnier than if he had simply posted the pic of the counterfeit $.

ToYz, you sure have been prolific recently. I would go as far as calling you a Postitute.

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by douglas_m

ElectricFeel,
You may not have noticed that ToYz lesson list was simply a response to the most recent threads dealing with these subjects in this Coed section. His post was funnier than if he had simply posted the pic of the counterfeit $.

ToYz, you sure have been prolific recently. I would go as far as calling you a Postitute.

EFN knows me...she is simply expressing her feelings on my tirades of late. I have no ill feelings towards her at all ,

yah, in a lull in my civvie life..and the weather has basically sucked for the things I like to do as past times...so have an overabundance of creative energy to burn & have invested probably too much of it in this forum.

[Guest021716-4]

You throw tantrums too, sometimes?! Hehe... Maybe we do have something in common.

[Claire She Blows]

Originally Posted by douglas_m

ToYz, you sure have been prolific recently. I would go as far as calling you a Postitute.

[Toyz]

Originally Posted by Guest032414

You throw tantrums too, sometimes?! Hehe... Maybe we do have something in common.

A guest account? And asking it to be deleted? Tsk tsk....doing some undercover work I see....

[LordBeaverbrook]

Originally Posted by Beagle

I'm gonna print out that 100 bill and use it. Looks legit.....

Looks like a N. Korean Superbill to me. Better be careful

Originally Posted by Claire She Blows

Tuna twat!

As long as it is Sushi grade tuna twat, I'm OK

Oh, and I'll be happy to teach.....

5. Hoogar Tech - In this challenging and riveting class you will learn to use the TV remote to #1 - find soothing music on the TV #2 - turn the volume down or #3 Turn the TV off (yes dear it does go off too). You will also learn the valuable skill or putting your phone on silent or enabling airplane mode while you entertain your visitor.

Now, can we get a provider volunteer to teach the hobbyists good hygiene and that "no" means "no" so don't as for FS in a FBSM session twice or show up at my door uninvited (or you may get punched in the throat)?

[cckid2006]

Originally Posted by Toyz

So, if there is enough of a need, I will offer to provide TOYZ REMEDIAL HOOKING CLASSES....{{{Previously titled "So you wanna be a Ho"?}}}

Someone needs to pick-up the slack since Velvet Jones died from overexposure and is no longer offering his "How to be a High Paying Ho" class.