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clusterlizard · 08-14-2013, 07:53 PM

My interlude with DarkHelmet began as any other. An urgent PM requesting my services within the hour. Fortunately, I was just sitting around my incall reading "Sexual Identities in Late Capitalism" and had an extra hour. I was somewhat nervous at first. DarkHelmet sent me a collection of reviews he had written for eccie and his sexual prowess was intimidating. I cleaned myself up and waited.

DarkHelmet arrived five minutes late. I was a bit surprised when I opened the door. He wasn't what I expected. I'd say he was 5'6", maybe 350 pounds, pale and sweating profusely. He entered my room and dropped a box of chocolates on the dresser.

"How sweet," I smiled at him.

"Sorry, I was held up at work," he panted.

He waddled over to the bed and sat down on the edge. He breathlessly grunted while gesturing at the chocolates. I went to the box and saw that it had already been opened. When I lifted the cover, there were a few chocolates missing and a QuickTrip receipt lay atop those that remained.

"Oh, I need that," DarkHelmet reached for the receipt, "I can expense it."

I removed a chocolate and bit into it, sensuously. I chewed, smiling. DarkHelmet reached for the box, grabbed a handful of chocolates and devoured them all at once.

"I needed that," he groaned, as he set upon untying his shoes.

I could see DarkHelmet was having some difficulty getting his leg up high enough to reach his shoestrings, so I knelt at his feet and removed the shoes for him. The odor was tremendous and it took all of my concentration to keep the chocolate down. My eyes watered and I could feel my face reddening.

"I can see you like that baby," he said, grinning widely.

"Honey, would you like to wash your feet?" I asked.

"Oh no baby," DarkHelmet replied, turning red, with his eyes rolling back in his head, "I'll let you do it for me."

I went to the bathroom and soaped up a rag, then came back and washed DarkHelmet's feet. He moaned like a woman in the throes of ecstasy.

"Oh yeah, baby! You know what I like!"

After a few minutes, he grunted and his rolls of flesh jiggled. A small wet spot appeared in the crotch of his pants.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry!" I gasped. According to the clock, we'd only been into the session ten minutes!

"Oh, that was the best, babe! Come up here on the bed and cuddle with me!"

I slid onto the bed next to DarkHelmet. He spooned me for the rest of the hour, while weeping and telling me about his mother.

I would definitely recommend DarkHelmet. Just be prepared with some spray deodorant. Otherwise, it's an easy $250.

stimulatethemind · 08-14-2013, 07:56 PM

I don't care who you are.......that there's funny!!

dirty dog · 08-14-2013, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by clusterlizard

My interlude with DarkHelmet began as any other. An urgent PM requesting my services within the hour. Fortunately, I was just sitting around my incall reading "Sexual Identities in Late Capitalism" and had an extra hour. I was somewhat nervous at first. DarkHelmet sent me a collection of reviews he had written for eccie and his sexual prowess was intimidating. I cleaned myself up and waited.

DarkHelmet arrived five minutes late. I was a bit surprised when I opened the door. He wasn't what I expected. I'd say he was 5'6", maybe 350 pounds, pale and sweating profusely. He entered my room and dropped a box of chocolates on the dresser.

"How sweet," I smiled at him.

"Sorry, I was held up at work," he panted.

He waddled over to the bed and sat down on the edge. He breathlessly grunted while gesturing at the chocolates. I went to the box and saw that it had already been opened. When I lifted the cover, there were a few chocolates missing and a QuickTrip receipt lay atop those that remained.

"Oh, I need that," DarkHelmet reached for the receipt, "I can expense it."

I removed a chocolate and bit into it, sensuously. I chewed, smiling. DarkHelmet reached for the box, grabbed a handful of chocolates and devoured them all at once.

"I needed that," he groaned, as he set upon untying his shoes.

I could see DarkHelmet was having some difficulty getting his leg up high enough to reach his shoestrings, so I knelt at his feet and removed the shoes for him. The odor was tremendous and it took all of my concentration to keep the chocolate down. My eyes watered and I could feel my face reddening.

"I can see you like that baby," he said, grinning widely.

"Honey, would you like to wash your feet?" I asked.

"Oh no baby," DarkHelmet replied, turning red, with his eyes rolling back in his head, "I'll let you do it for me."

I went to the bathroom and soaped up a rag, then came back and washed DarkHelmet's feet. He moaned like a woman in the throes of ecstasy.

"Oh yeah, baby! You know what I like!"

After a few minutes, he grunted and his rolls of flesh jiggled. A small wet spot appeared in the crotch of his pants.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry!" I gasped. According to the clock, we'd only been into the session ten minutes!

"Oh, that was the best, babe! Come up here on the bed and cuddle with me!"

I slid onto the bed next to DarkHelmet. He spooned me for the rest of the hour, while weeping and telling me about his mother.

I would definitely recommend DarkHelmet. Just be prepared with some spray deodorant. Otherwise, it's an easy $250.

ElumEno · 08-14-2013, 08:06 PM

[Joking]Even though you tried to disguise the name and all...
I know that was about me... I can not believe that she would say that about me... I am done with it all now... I can't handle all this shame.[/Joking]

clusterlizard · 08-14-2013, 08:07 PM

chin up old man.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElumEno

Even though you tried to disguise the name and all...
I know that was about me... I can not believe that she would say that about me... I am done with it all now... I can't handle all this shame.

Grizzly · 08-14-2013, 08:07 PM

Damn cluster I had no idea you were a provider!

I got to admit this was pretty funny

Guest013121 · 08-14-2013, 09:28 PM

Lol! How very clever....

Unrulydevil · 08-14-2013, 11:39 PM

That is funny stuff right there!

clusterlizard · 08-14-2013, 11:45 PM

I think "Dark Helmet" would be a good term for the opposite of "White Knight". Probably less offensive than "Sociopath".

DestinyInKC · 08-14-2013, 11:49 PM

LOL

Misawahawk · 08-15-2013, 12:07 AM

What would providers really review aside from client is not a cop, paid the $, and wasnt an asshole?

Funny review though.

i'va biggen · 08-15-2013, 06:16 AM

Hey at least Dark Helmet didn't fart.

clusterlizard · 08-15-2013, 07:09 AM

The mark of a true gentleman!

Quote:

Originally Posted by i'va biggen

Hey at least Dark Helmet didn't fart.

Helicopter206 · 08-15-2013, 07:48 AM

You left out the part of his sexy out-fit...
what was he wearing when she opened the door.
Did he give her the donation before or after.
Did she have to Towel him off after sweating all over the place...
Damn only one Pop... for 250

Where is the part that she was texting and setting up other appointments,
while washing his feet... (knowing he couldn't see his feet, I was texting my next client)
so when the hour got close, the alarm on my phone went off, I helped him put his socks and shoes back on, and pushed his fat sweaty ass out the door. no hug or kiss good by...
I checked the envelope to make sure he didn't cheap me, by deducting the candy from my donation. (because if he did short me, I would chase his fat ass down the hall to get the rest of my money)
I sprayed the room to get the funk out. (Next client was on his way in the nest 15 minutes)
Now back to reading my Book...
Waiting for the Next Dark Helmet to show up. "they are no longer called Clients, I refer to them as Dark Helmets from now on. lonely men that just want someone to talk to about their problems, and touch their little tiny cock's, while telling them they are a stud. the faster they pop the faster they are out the door...
She would say, PM me for the list of Dark Helmets... that are fast and easy....

clusterlizard · 08-15-2013, 08:15 AM

Well, I'm glad I did leave all that out. I never could have rendered it so eloquently.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Helicopter206

You left out the part of his sexy out-fit...
what was he wearing when she opened the door.
Did he give her the donation before or after.
Did she have to Towel him off after sweating all over the place...
Damn only one Pop... for 250

Where is the part that she was texting and setting up other appointments,
while washing his feet... (knowing he couldn't see his feet, I was texting my next client)
so when the hour got close, the alarm on my phone went off, I helped him put his socks and shoes back on, and pushed his fat sweaty ass out the door. no hug or kiss good by...
I checked the envelope to make sure he didn't cheap me, by deducting the candy from my donation. (because if he did short me, I would chase his fat ass down the hall to get the rest of my money)
I sprayed the room to get the funk out. (Next client was on his way in the nest 15 minutes)
Now back to reading my Book...
Waiting for the Next Dark Helmet to show up. "they are no longer called Clients, I refer to them as Dark Helmets from now on. lonely men that just want someone to talk to about their problems, and touch their little tiny cock's, while telling them they are a stud. the faster they pop the faster they are out the door...
She would say, PM me for the list of Dark Helmets... that are fast and easy....