13 Mistakes To Avoid When Selecting A Safeword For BDSM Play
1. Cognitive dissonance can be problematic. For example, using “More, More, Harder, Harder,” “Green Light,” or “Yes! Yes! Yes!” as a Safe Word may prove sufficiently confusing to cause a transient but uncomfortable delay in the desired cessation of festivities.
2. Homographs are iffy. Your more exacting Doms won’t find “You say tomato, I say tomato” all that amusing.
3. Likewise, homonyms (e.g., plays on “bear” the burden and “bare” your ass) can be tricky. I reference Master Murphy’s Law:
Any safe words that can be confused will be confused and its corollary: “
Momentary confusion” takes on a entirely different meaning when the “momentary” part occurs during a flogging.
4. Multi-syllabic, sesquipedalian words, especially those of the sort most often found in medical or scientific literature or novelty books about word play are not ideal. Even if you can routinely recall such monstrosities as “floccinaucinihilipilification ,” “hepaticocholangiocholecystent erostomies,” and “Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilic ovolcanoconiosis,” it’s showing off, and, believe me, nobody likes a smart ass sub.
5. Safe Words that aren’t words (e.g., “833646520034″) fall into the same category as #4.
6. While dramatic and emphatic, exclamations such as “Ouch,” “Damn, that hurts,” and “What the heck do you think you’re doing?” can be misunderstood.
7. The subjunctive mood (e.g., “It’s as though I can’t take any more” or “I wish it would quit hurting”) is typically inappropriate for ones Safe Word.
8. ”
” It didn’t work for Prince and it won’t work for you.
9. AAAA. (“Assiduously Avoid Acronyms, Asshole”). “NGSCB” may mean “Next-Generation Secure Computing Base,” to you, but does your Dom know that?
10. Think twice before choosing tricky proper names (for example, names of towns such as
Unalakleet, Alaska or
Prem Nagar, India and especially those vowel-deficient designations of Welsh villages such as
Cwmtwrch). A good rule of thumbscrews is that if you can’t grunt the Safe Word intelligibly with a gag in your mouth, then it’s not really safe, is it?
11. Using something on the line of “Is that the best you can do, Mistress?” and “You’re such a wuss, Master” is just asking for trouble. (Handy memory aid:
Taunts are for
Tops;
Begging is for
Bottoms)
12. Some words and terms just don’t fit the context. For example,
• “Hamiltonian-Federalist Jeffersonian-Republican Alignment”
• “Willing suspension of disbelief”
• “Bernoulli’s Principle”
• Any phrase which includes the words “butterfly” or “unicorn.”
• Anything in the form of a rhyming couplet
• Almost all scripture from the New Testament (yes, even the modern translations)
13. “Fuck You, Master” is a Safe Word probably best left to the very experienced, hard core players.
Safe Words, Do We Need Them?
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