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Gaining Momentum
Join Date: Feb 8, 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 74
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One guy's perspective on 16 years in the hobby . . .
Ok, I've been thinking of writing this for a while, and finally started to do some typing. I'm not 100% *why* I decided to write this . . . been a bit introspective as I'm getting older, I suppose. If this kind of post is unwanted, inappropriate, in the wrong forum, of if the Mods just don't like it, feel free to move or delete it.
First of all, this is just one guy's set of experiences and opinions - I do not by any stretch of the imagination presume that my experiences and opinions are fact or the only version of reality out there. One of the great things about this existence of ours is that we can occupy the same physical planet, have similar experiences, and have (sometimes) dramatically different perspectives on things. This post isn't intended to alter your opinions or perspectives. I'm just sharing mine.
Second, I don't feel the need to defend what I'm writing here. This is what I've experienced, this is what I think. Simple as that.
So, with all of the qualifiers out of the way, here's my story. I have been hobbying since 2000. I first started doing so on a business trip with some peers. Since then I've had over 100 hobbying experiences - from strip clubs to massage parlors, incalls, outcalls, independents, agencies, etc. I'd say about 40% of my experiences have been at massage parlors, as I like the familiarity with the process and knowing what to expect. I also occasionally get a decent massage out of it. And call me "in touch with my feminine side", but I think the massage process is pretty sensual.
I travel a bit for work and have hobbied all across the US and in foreign countries while traveling for business purposes: Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Diego, Deer Valley, Salt Lake City, Las Vegas, Phoenix, Scottsdale, Colorado Springs, Omaha, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Chicago, New Orleans, Detroit, Indianapolis, Cleveland, Columbus, Dayton, Cincinnati, Florence (KY), Nashville, Memphis, Birmingham, Atlanta, Pittsburgh, Charlotte, Greensboro, Charleston, Atlanta, Ft. Lauderdale, Miami, Boca Raton, Tampa, West Palm Beach, Washington D.C., New York City, Boston. I'm probably leaving off a few smaller towns, but those are the domestic locations. Internationally, I've hobbied or "mongered" (as the Brits would say) in Toronto, Montreal, Niagra, Monterrey (MX), Rio de Janeiro, Sao Paulo, London, Paris, Rome, Istanbul, and Manila. That's about as comprehensive of a list as I can come up with. That list isn't intended to be a "look at me" thing - just a bit of background for what I write next. I'm not saying I'm an expert, but I've had my fair share of varied experiences in varied locations.
Some of my opinions and personal lessons - these may or may not apply to you - in no particular order, just typing stream of consciousness as I'm thinking:
-this hobby is expensive; by my estimate, over the last 16 years I've spent north of $25k; that works out to about $1,500 per year, which isn't a huge amount on a yearly basis (I know guys who spend more than that golfing, drinking, gambling, etc.) but it is a meaningful amount of money (to me)
-I've hobbied as a single guy, a guy dating, a guy engaged, and as a married man; hobbying definitely has altered my perspective on relationships, women and the sexual act . . . some changes are probably ok, other's not as good (for my own mental health); when I started, hobbying was exciting, provided variety, and as a person who had grown up in a strict religious household, was a way of completely flushing that upbringing; over time it became more about doing something fun, having something to break the boredom of business travel, and giving myself a "treat"; lately hobbying feels less like fun, and more like work (due mainly to all of the prep/research I do)
-I've found that over the years, my anticipation of the actual act with a provider almost always was more positive than the actual act
-of the 100 or so experiences I've had, I'd say 8-10 were really bad, "what the fuck just happened?", 8-10 were "holy shit that was awesome" and the rest were in the middle
-the providers I have met in the hobby really are varied; for the most part (and this may be a result of my price-point, my selection process or just bad luck) I find that at least half are not on time, tend to be a bit flaky and have problems going on in their lives -- maybe they're providers because of these things, or maybe being a provider has this effect on them? Not sure. But there are few jobs where you can just "show up" do your thing, when and how you want to and get away with it. If you're female and hot, being a provider probably provides that option for some ladies.
-for the most part I have learned that photos taken at weird or odd angles or that are cropped oddly are done so to disguise a physical flaw; as a general rule (there are always exceptions) her photos are the best she's going to look; beauty is in the eye of the beholder - one reviewer's opinion that she's "hot" shouldn't outweigh your opinion of her pics
-review boards *are worth it*; (black dude in a wig showed up at my hotel room door)
-I have learned to pay up money if I can; going cheap (unless in a foreign country where the exchange rate works in my favor) almost is never worth it; domestically, I can count on three fingers the number of times that I went cheap and it worked out well (the provider was hot and/or skilled)
-in my opinion there is no such thing as "safe sex" with a provider . . . there is safer sex, but if you like BBBJ (as I do) you're exposing yourself; condoms can and do break (I've had two condoms break while getting FS . . . talk about a moment that makes you reconsider what you're doing!)
-in my opinion, if you hobby long enough, you will eventually end up with a STD; either via BBBJ or when a condom breaks; hopefully it won't be HIV or herpes
-I get tested regularly; maybe every 120 or 180 days; there's no sense in not knowing if I have (or don't have) something
-if you're paranoid like me, the whole "do I have an STD" thing will fuck with your head; every time Icatch a cold, get a cough, have some slight discomfort while urinating, have a rash, I'm thinking "did I catch something?"
-variety is the spice of life (for me); I've only ever seen the same provider multiple times, three times
-I have a professional/personal reputation to protect, so I don't hobby in my home city; I drive at least one county (sometimes two) away and hobby there; if anything bad happens, it will be less likely to reach my employer or friends
-I don't hobby locally and if I did, I'd refuse to use a local Agency; many (most?) agencies eventually get busted by local law enforcement, and if that agency has a verification process, there's a good chance my name and contact info will be in their files/PC/phones
-I don't use my primary cell or work cell or phone # while hobbying; I have used either a google voice phone #, the Burner app, or a totally separate phone to do my hobbying; I do the same with email - using a disposable email address
-there have been a couple of times where I've found myself in a situation that doesn't feel right . . . sometimes I've stuck it out, sometimes I've bailed out; in retrospect, I could have found a better situation or a different provider; it wasn't worth the risk to push things in a bad setting; this applied in particular in a bad part of town or in a foreign (developing) country
Well, that's about it. I'm getting older and find myself less, and less interested in pursuing this hobby. I don't know that I'll ever go "cold turkey" . . . because sometimes I just need to fuck a hot provider . . . but I've certainly dialed things back as of late.
My two cents.
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And Paris.
