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Main Discussion Forum - National General discussions pertaining to the hobby, but not limited to your local scene. (For staff assistance, contact your local moderator, or see the "Emails to the Staff" post in the Questions for the Staff forum in each city)


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Old 01-15-2017, 06:17 PM   #31
spa999
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlemantoo View Post
What happens when a hobbyist needs help, single father needs a babysitter, is he to count on the.provider for help? Why do we have to ALWAYS be there for them, an intimate relationship goes two ways, not ALWAYS her way. I like helping people but I also need help from time to time and providers may be unreliable.

What about the provider that starts in this business and turns to alcohol or medication as a result of her not wanting to do this work? How do we help her? Best answer I think is stop seeing her, but what man is going to do that? Besides me, that is.
I mentioned it in my OP but didn't emphasize it, but the board in question would also be for hobbyists needing info or direction on whatever issues they were having. As for your second point, if a girl starts down that path, like anyone else abusing drugs or booze, she has to decide to stop, then do so. She would have to reach out and ask for direction. I was not proposing an ambulance service or Coast Guard rescue-like thing. The individual needing direction would be the one to solicit it. Helping someone who asks for it is one thing... foisting your assistance on someone is another.
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Old 01-15-2017, 08:26 PM   #32
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Too many stories out there of both providers and hobbiests crossing the personal/business line with disastrous consequences. The concept is good, just not practical with this group of people.
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Old 01-16-2017, 05:34 PM   #33
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It depends... I have been called the white knight or that I jave the wrong type personality etc. I prefer being anonymous when I do open up to help but not always. Ifi see someone that needs a helping hand ( that's why I joined as a client. I needed intimacy that was lacking in my life and didn't want a relationship and have met some beautiful women with open hearts to allow me the dignity to still feel like a man )
There have been a few that have needed assistance medical issues or just rent and ive opened my heart and wallet to assist.
There is a difference between giving someone a hand up than a hand out. There are ladies that will take advantage to. One client felt bad for a lady donated quite a chunk of change then when he called for an appointment found out the real reason for the help me was so she could go on a vacation for a month.. Ine I donated miney to wanted money to buy a pair of shoes and a all terraine vehicle for her kids.. Yet there were a couple that truly needed a hand.as well..so it all depends..
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Old 01-16-2017, 10:58 PM   #34
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Default A providers private life

Quote spa999
What do you all (hobbyists and providers) think of us asking the ECCIE admins to open a new board up entitled simply "Requests for Assistance, Input, and Information" wherein anyone (hobbyists, too) can post requests for

I gave that a try some years ago. I set with a provider at the emergency room for some 12 hours because she had no insurance. Her pimp had his gold teeth how ever. I tried to help her get her GED and when she was ready to go take a trial test she backed out this was after I paid for a teacher to bring her up to speed. I hope she realizes what she lost. There is no damn way you want to get involved with a providers private life. Pay her fee and walk away. I was new to the hobby and still not a member of ECCIE. The first review that wrote was when I thought she wanted to get out of the profession.
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Old Yesterday, 07:21 AM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spa999 View Post
I mentioned it in my OP but didn't emphasize it, but the board in question would also be for hobbyists needing info or direction on whatever issues they were having. As for your second point, if a girl starts down that path, like anyone else abusing drugs or booze, she has to decide to stop, then do so. She would have to reach out and ask for direction. I was not proposing an ambulance service or Coast Guard rescue-like thing. The individual needing direction would be the one to solicit it. Helping someone who asks for it is one thing... foisting your assistance on someone is another.
Again, I totally get your post and the heart behind it. You are proposing, ideally, a system where men and women help each other at the most base level. And you're exactly right. It happens all the time here--as it should--but I think largely out of sight and off the board. Most of the gentlemen I've met personally in the hobby are pretty good about ID'ing and giving to ladies needs. Likewise, most of the ladies I've come to know are also good at reading the needs of a man and contributing to those. Humanity is what I call it. And it works pretty well.

Good posts. You're making people think.
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Old Yesterday, 08:52 AM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Contralto View Post
Again, I totally get your post and the heart behind it. You are proposing, ideally, a system where men and women help each other at the most base level. And you're exactly right. It happens all the time here--as it should--but I think largely out of sight and off the board. Most of the gentlemen I've met personally in the hobby are pretty good about ID'ing and giving to ladies needs. Likewise, most of the ladies I've come to know are also good at reading the needs of a man and contributing to those. Humanity is what I call it. And it works pretty well.

Good posts. You're making people think.
This.

In the past, some providers donated time to be raffled to help a fellow provider going through health issues. Some very, very sweet guys in SA still pay social visits to a lady they helped get the medical care she needed. Heck I've had guys pay my fee directly to a lady who needed help after Mother Nature had a field day with her house. I believe that the charity that happens off-board is preferable since well...people know each other and can gauge whether the other person will benefit from the assistance offered.

Some of the guys should certainly be more wary of helping those that don't want to be helped...
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Old Yesterday, 09:48 AM   #37
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I totally agree with samanth. Providers are highly resourceful. I think it was a very sweet idea tho.
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Old Yesterday, 12:12 PM   #38
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Providers are highly resourceful.
This, as are some of the guys here. In spite of what you may think, none of us know one another very well which is yet another reason not to get into each others business. You know the handle, you know the board persona behind it, and the persona that shows up at appointments. You don't know the person behind any of them.
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Old Yesterday, 03:34 PM   #39
samantha thom
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One word: Boundaries! Respect them. Keep the hobby without drama and much involvement. Let real world problems be dealt with real world friends and families.
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Old Yesterday, 03:50 PM   #40
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One word: Boundaries! Respect them. Keep the hobby without drama and much involvement. Let real world problems be dealt with real world friends and families.
Oh you are so right on boundaries...I didn't one time with the wrong lady..but for the most part what ive observed is just how close everyone is. They might not know your name or your personal lifes issues but everyone watches each others back.
I haven't any problem with helping another person out.. But I respect their privacy and like to keep my anonymity. By doing that you can touch someone in need with a.little relief withought being drawn into the drama. Sometimes family just can't or won't be there and it's better to have someone outside the issue to lend a listening ear
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Old Yesterday, 05:33 PM   #41
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Default Helping a provider

I know I am not the only guy that has found a friend in the hobby. A lady I had many good times with over a couple of years. (over nights and week ends). I knew she was having difficulties making ends meet. I gave her a debit card that was separate from my bank account and I would deposit a couple of hundred dollars in the account. That went on for a good amount of time until she left the hobby. I still think fondly of her and wish her luck. She and I attended several socials together and became close. For my 75th birthday I flew her in from her home to attend my birthday party with all of my kids. The fact her birth date and mine was the same day made for some wild weekends.. On a trip to Bossier City at the Horse Shoe we stopped to meet a friend of mine that is a cop and the look on her face when he got out of his police car was funny as hell.
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Old Yesterday, 07:44 PM   #42
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Facebook has that. Groups that even narrows it down to your county. You can post for help there and they offer LOTS of resources. To do that in this hobby, will be a lot of use and abuse. Someone will find a loop hole like everything else.

The thought though was sweet.

In my opinion real life and hobby life should not cross. But that's just me.
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Old Yesterday, 07:52 PM   #43
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What is funny is all the ladies I have had the privilege of meeting has been wonderful. I view all of them as friends . Some actually text me from time to time just to share their day. Take pictures of interesting things etc. Some evenings like tonight business is slow or taking a break they'll sit back cold drink and we will chit chat about common things. We both know our spaces and don't cross any boundaries. They're life runs along a different path. But we can be friends along with provider and client as separate.
For me being there for a friend is easy. Without giving personal information..
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